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awkward_elephant t1_j7vmwut wrote

Back in my day, whales would just swim into a fjord and get a seal. Have these damn millennial whales tried that? They’re so sheltered these days; they need to pull themselves up by their fin tags.

Sure, we completely destroyed their ecological stability as a result of our unfettered exploitation of resources to fuel our own enjoyment. But I need my shrimp cocktails, goddamnit!


PoisonRamune t1_j7wp14k wrote

Gen-X whales are surprisingly happy and well adjusted. However, they did come from a place where their only representation was Shamu and airbrushed pictures of their kin on hoodies.


orrk256 t1_j7x4bod wrote

I wouldn't call the Pacific psycho fan group there "well-adjusted"


Cronerburger t1_j7wk14m wrote

And the boomer whale blowing up their guts all over the beach. Entitlement


[deleted] t1_j7x2cl1 wrote

Boomer whales are having dementia now as a result of the PTSD from the Valdez spill.


Sweet-Rabbit t1_j7wnu2x wrote

Millennial whales complaining that their current lot is a fluke of the economy.


Would_daver t1_j7wwp0j wrote

They rather just have a stable hunting gig, that's the halibut! The ask isn't tuna-zt...


NotForgetWatsizName t1_j7ylxrq wrote

“… fin tags.”s To be really accurate, I think they’re called fin straps.
I agree, they need to pull themselves up by their fin straps.
Failing that, I suppose they could use their skin tags to pull themselves up.