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jamcdonald120 t1_jaq5f4j wrote

Coors: "Hey, you know beer shouldnt taste like water"

Budweiser: "OBJECTION! Slander!"

Coors: "How did you know we were talking about you?"

Budweiser: "...."


Moosetappropriate t1_jaqs568 wrote

I don’t get it. American beer doesn’t taste like water. It tastes more like the output of the Budweiser wagon team.


RampantRooster t1_japojct wrote

Water doesn't need to be thrown shade like this. Water is delicious and refreshing. The average lager tastes like piss, not water.


DaveOJ12 t1_jaq0nzt wrote

Is that why the beer in GTA V is called Pißwasser?


TheGrayBox t1_jaqagwl wrote

That’s nonsense. Lagers can be fantastic. I’m guessing you aren’t aware of how varied the style can be.


TwentySevenNihilists t1_jaqb1mu wrote

They can be, but they are not.


TheGrayBox t1_jaqbi82 wrote

Dunkel, Helles, Bock, Maibock, Doppelbock, Märzen, real European Pilsner, American Amber, etc etc. None of these taste like piss. Go to Germany and tell me the beer tastes like piss. Writing off basically half of the beer styles in existence is ultra pretentious IPA hipster energy.


TwentySevenNihilists t1_jaqbyjh wrote

I know, I've had some good ones.

The original comment was about the average lager within the context of American beer though, and they do all give the impression of watered down piss.

Alow me to write off the other half of beer styles in existence and say that IPAs are fucking disgusting, and we all know it. The people who "like" them are lying to themselves.


TheGrayBox t1_jaqc681 wrote

Considering the vast majority of available American beer is now craft rather than mass-produced adjunct beer, I would still disagree with whatever is being considered “average”. Every other country has cheap piss beer too. In fact, most countries really only have their domestic piss beer and not much else. But I guess this is Reddit and America bad


TwentySevenNihilists t1_jaqd941 wrote

Not so much bad, just boring.

And in the Bud/Miller/Coors America, the average beer makes your wonder if you're drinking pee if you've ever had anything better.

In the 80%-of-the-US-population-lives-in-urban-areas-now America, you can get whatever the hell kind of beer you want. I don't know if you could even claim there is an average. I imagine if you could, it would be by a slim margin based on arbitrary criteria.

The whole reason this is funny in the first place is that in the first America, there's only three beers, so if one of them should happen to cast some shade while promoting their own beer, it's not hard to guess who they're talking about. It's even funnier when one of the other two claims insult without being named directly.

The joke doesn't work in the second America, so it's not even talking about your beer.


TheGrayBox t1_jaqehya wrote

Molson Coors (Miller and Coors) produces a ton of craft beer brands. InBev (Budweiser) produces even more.

Also, pre-prohibition America featured an enormous amount of small local breweries in every neighborhood that made beer which was more or less identical to the European styles that were most associated with that region of the country, usually English style ales or German lagers. The idea of mass produced corporate national beer brands is obviously fairly modern, and adjunct lagers are even more modern. The current US beer culture is actually a return to how things used to be.


TA-Sentinels2022 t1_je9s85i wrote

>Molson Coors (Miller and Coors) produces a ton of craft beer brands. InBev (Budweiser) produces even more.

A craft beer is, by definition, made by a small brewery. Neither MC, nor In Bev are that.


TheGrayBox t1_jeaaqu1 wrote

That is absolutely not the industry definition of craft beer. That is the definition of a microbrew.

The vast majority of beers marketed as craft today are brewed and distributed by one of the big corpos.


TA-Sentinels2022 t1_jearadx wrote

So, the fucking Brewer's Association (ref 3) doesn't have a say in the industry definition? But some clown on reddit does?

An absolutely ludicrous position to hold, and a childishly self-centred one.

Jog onwards and upwards.


TheGrayBox t1_jeatnkm wrote

Uh…that’s correct, a private interest group does not make definitive decisions on the legal industry terminology. Maybe if you had quoted the FDA this would be a different discussion. If you’ve ever been to a bar in the last 20 years, you’ll know that beers sold under major parent labels are allowed to be called craft beer.

> An absolutely ludicrous position to hold, and a childishly self-centred one.



TA-Sentinels2022 t1_jeauaud wrote

>Maybe if you had quoted the FDA

By all means, please do.

Please note, I don't live in the US so I couldn't give two tugs of a dead dog's cock what the FDA think.

But, please, enlighten me, captain beerlord.


TheGrayBox t1_jeavzdw wrote

I’m not sure where your confusion is bud. You’re the one who initiated the conversation. Molson Coors and InBev are US companies, hence why US regulatory agencies are relevant to the discussion.

The “Brewers Association” is not a government entity. Their opinions hold no more weight over these companies and their business practices than you or me.

Many “craft” food items are still produced and distributed by major companies, they are just allowed to be called craft based on the original recipe or process used. Capitalism is disappointing sometimes, I know.

It looks like the general consensus on craft beer in the US is simply based on the number of barrels of that particular beer made annually. If they exceed a certain amount, it’s not craft anymore.


TA-Sentinels2022 t1_jeax9z2 wrote

>hence why US regulatory agencies are relevant to the discussion

By all means, then, show me the FDA definition, if it is the only one you will accept, aside from the several I already did.

Please also remember that both companies sell on the international market so your bizarre jurisdictional claim on behalf of the FDA is, frankly, the mark of a fool.


TA-Sentinels2022 t1_jeaxzgl wrote

Seriously, one link, one refernce, anything.

As counterpoint, in advance:

Cabras, I. (2020). Craft Beer in the EU: Exploring Different Markets
and Systems Across the Continent. In: Hoalst-Pullen, N., Patterson, M. (eds) The Geography of Beer. Springer, Cham.


I'm assuming you have better given your misplaced confidence.


TheGrayBox t1_jeb16l5 wrote

A link to…what? The regulation you’re talking about doesn’t exist. Hence why the observable reality exists of major distributors selling beer under the label “craft”.

There are all sorts of regulations around classifications of breweries in the US and the amount of beer they can sell in a year without contracting under a distributor (who is federally certified for all manor or food safety regulations). The major distributors also have branch companies that produce certain “craft” brands and therefore are distributed in small enough quantity to be considered microbrews. But the reality is that small loopholes allow for “craft” to be largely meaningless.

Not sure how things are where you’re at, but in the US at this point actual microbreweries are everywhere. Every neighborhood in a major metro area will generally have at least one, and they all visibly make their beer on site in small batches. There’s a very clear difference between those breweries and the ones that sell their “craft” beer all over the country like Sierra Nevada, Blue Moon, etc. The styles and quality are not particularly different these days as they were in the past.


TA-Sentinels2022 t1_jef5tef wrote

>The regulation you’re talking about doesn’t exist.


So what the tits is your point?

Everyone except you, internationally, has a defined accepted standard for what constitutes craft brewing but fuck all them.

Is that it? Is that, literally, all you have?

Kinda sad, tbh. I'll pour one out for you and it might even be a legitimate craft brew.


TheGrayBox t1_jefse9y wrote

You were the one making a point, not me. You came here to say that “craft beer” can’t be made by a major corporate brewery. That statement isn’t correct as a matter of industry practice. That’s all. You’re the one bothered by that. Like, apparently you’re genuinely emotional about that.

> Everyone except you, internationally, has a defined accepted standard for what constitutes craft brewing but fuck all them.

I highly doubt that’s true considering your inability to parse internet opinions from legal statutes previously. I didn’t bother reading the journal article you sent because frankly who fucking cares. I’m certain Blue Moon is probably called a craft beer in Europe too even though it’s made by Coors. And also, just as a reminder, the world is more than just the US and Europe. I highly doubt Afghanistan has stringent regulation on brewing classifications, but maybe you’ll prove me wrong. But hey, being edgy about America is the classic Reddit pass time, so good on ya I guess.


mypantsareonmyhead t1_jaskaoc wrote

None of those beers are lagers though.

So by missing the point you've kinda proved the point.


TheGrayBox t1_jasmg0v wrote

Literally every one of these beers is a lager, lol.



CaptainPunch374 t1_jaqe919 wrote

That said: beer shouldn't taste like water.

(That would be fuckin weird)


RampantRooster t1_jaqgzp3 wrote

I would take water flavor over piss flavor, even if the latter is the correct flavor.


Mitthrawnuruo t1_jas8wnu wrote

Someone doesn’t live in the Yingling distribution zone.

Coors and Budweiser absolutely do not count has lagers. Or beer.


Gordon_Explosion t1_japhlv8 wrote

Wow. AB-InBev just got defensive because someone said light beer shouldn't taste like water.

Like, the shoe is fitting, and they put it on publicly.


ZealousidealClub4119 t1_japfziy wrote

>Molson Coors appeals call to discontinue ad claim of 'beer shouldn't taste like water'

>The National Advertising Division told Molson Coors it had to stop using the phrase after Anheuser-Busch challenged it.

>Anheuser-Busch ... owns multiple global brands, notably Budweiser, Michelob, Stella Artois, and Beck's.

"Next target, homeopathic medicines! Mwahahaha!"


joeyboii23 t1_jaq6cgw wrote

I honestly thought that was the point of these beers? They taste like water so I can drink like 10 of them if I want I must be missing something.


BigBigMonkeyMan t1_jap5y3d wrote

all these beers taste like water…


jerflash t1_japocee wrote

High life does not taste like water.


TheGrayBox t1_jaqayyi wrote

Neither does Coors Banquet


CleverInnuendo t1_jaqbbsw wrote

The one domestic I like. Which was weird to me, since Coors is my least favorite of the 'lights'.


jerflash t1_jaqqm68 wrote

Miller light I like over colors but I will buy both. I will only drink bud or bud light if it’s free


chasonreddit t1_jatcm4b wrote

Ding ding ding. I'm a banquet fan. Coors light just gives the whole brand a bad name. They've stopped making it, but if you ever find it, check Coors Extra Gold. It's banquet that they just give a few extra days to in the tank. Good stuff.

They stopped making it during Covid because it's low volume and they needed the aluminum for the better selling varieties.


jerflash t1_jaqqk53 wrote

Cope banquet and Miller high life are basically the same since they are made by the same place


FlatPineappleSociety t1_japphrv wrote

If you think miller high life doesn't taste like nothing, I am willing to bet your favorite hot sauce is mayonnaise.


jerflash t1_jappxdy wrote

sriracha and cholula are both pretty amazing. I love all sorts of beers as well.

you definitely seem the type of dude that brings the hardest to drink IPA to every party or beach day because it’s your whole personality lol


TheGrayBox t1_jaqb2dh wrote

Molson Coors makes an enormous list of beers including a ton of European imports and a ton of regional craft beers.


GetlostMaps t1_japkq0y wrote

It's mainstream American beer - it's pretty much the same as having sex in a canoe ... Fucking close to water.


swisscriss t1_japnffu wrote

Great reference, your references are insane bro


RTwhyNot t1_jas5fum wrote

Absolute joke. Mold on-Coors is stating an objective fact. Fuck Budweiser.


Gibscreen t1_jaq749u wrote

Methinks doth protest too quickly.


BatteryAcid67 t1_jaqjv2a wrote

I wish it did, I've tried every alcohol there is and I hate the way they all taste, full stop


druffischnuffi t1_jare0o3 wrote

I agree. I drink alcoholic beverages for the effect and not for the taste. Alcohol itself is awful and the only way to make it less awful is to hide it's taste behind loads of sugar.

I will now lose my German citizenship after having said that


Nopenothu t1_jarfah0 wrote

It shouldn't taste like it got fished from a toilet either, but Coors, Miller, Bud Weiser, Pabst, etc keep getting away with it.


chasonreddit t1_jatd5qm wrote

Or, and I'm just throwing this out there, AB could make beers that don't taste like water.

It's radical I know.

I actually used to work for the company and they would just grab people for tasting QC panels. Some of them were just like does it taste different? Does it taste at all?


dubiousadvocate t1_jasbr0f wrote

Thirty minutes after I drink a Bud I have a headache.


PigDiesel t1_jaq8frk wrote

American beer is like having sex in a canoe.