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my__name__is t1_jcyiyol wrote

>"Huh, same as general user experience then," wrote Charles Rickett, a video editor with the U.K. tabloid Metro



shahooster t1_jczcln1 wrote

Same as the CEO personality too.


redsterXVI t1_jd09eqa wrote

Consistency is important for a brand


ultrapoo t1_jd0ghxv wrote

I believe the consistency tells you what type shit it is. Elon Musk is the sputtery-splattery type of diarrhea.


Welpe t1_jd20afl wrote

Hey, I don’t have a colon and thus only experience diarrhea. He is worse than just diarrhea. He is diarrhea after you order Thai with friends and you feel an irrational social pressure so you stupidly order it “Thai hot” while forgetting important facts like “You have hemorrhoids that are not healed at all and are starting to look bad enough you should really go to the doctor” and also “You are White”. If physically possible, you are also menstruating.

It’s not just a shitty experience, it’s an experience that turns the devout into atheists as you struggle to reconcile the existence of a loving God and the misery you have just endured.


westdl t1_jcyo0n4 wrote

This could work out.

Press: “Is it Elon’s intent to aid foreign agents in taking control of the US government? If yes, answer with a poop emoji.

Twitter: 💩


bradorsomething t1_jczrijm wrote

“How is the pay at Twitter now?”

“What’s it like working for Elon?”

“What was your favorite role played by Sir Patrick Stewart?”


imbluedabedeedabedaa t1_jd0ywrk wrote

Avery Bullock and it's not even close


things_U_choose_2_b t1_jd10e7r wrote

I love so much that he plays this part; that he still plays this part; and that he plays it with such panache & glee.

Also 'panache & glee' sounds like something Avery Bullock might say


dtreth t1_jd2hrp1 wrote

American Dad > Family Guy

Futurama > Simpsons


things_U_choose_2_b t1_jd2ojxp wrote

Agree 100%. Roger the alien is one of my favourite cartoon characters, he's so layered & ridiculous. It's consistently funny whereas Family Guy jokes land ~40% for me now.


dtreth t1_jd2hpin wrote

I read it in his cocaine voice


gadfly1999 t1_jczsfdn wrote

I like this. “We reached out to Twitter prior to this story and representatives at Twitter agreed that Musk’s performance as CEO is indeed shit.”


fisherbeam t1_jd0ojpw wrote

Yes Elons helping foreign agents take over the government thru twitter. If only he kept talking about racism/socialism like the msm, we’d be much better off.


westdl t1_jd0oure wrote

You didn’t answer with a poop emoji.


Ground2ChairMissile t1_jcyj1pd wrote

Remember that dumb Disney movie from the 90s, Blank Check? A kid gets into some hijinks with a mobster and gets a million bucks, then blows it on things like a mansion and a birthday party?

That kid grew up and owns Twitter.


hops4beer t1_jcyosdl wrote

Oh yeah, the Disney movie where Karen Duffy sexually assaults a child. I remember that.


SpecialEdShow t1_jcypa9h wrote

I forget, how far did it go? Did she kiss him? I know they went on a date. What a ridiculous movie.


hops4beer t1_jcyr8ee wrote

She was grooming him for his money and then she kissed him at the end. Super weird and gross.


Dorp t1_jd0siq9 wrote

No she was an FBI agent investigating the money laundering of the main villain. Still gross to kiss a kid though.


root_over_ssh t1_jcyy9fw wrote

He was a little boy he probably enjoyed it

Just because too many haven't been getting it lately: /s


TotallyInOverMyHead t1_jczra67 wrote

i wonder if you got the downvotes for the /s


root_over_ssh t1_jd090ql wrote

Apparently they didn't understand why I had to include the /s


FM-101 t1_jd2pccd wrote

Or maybe people just dont like pedophile jokes?


Azudekai t1_jd0cc58 wrote

I hope he got his luckiest boy on earth award.


DogfishDave t1_jczzm4e wrote

>the Disney movie where Karen Duffy sexually assaults a child

Wait 'til you see Big, the 12 year old played by Tom Hanks has sex with an adult character. It seemed a bit weird even at the time and I'm sure that storyline wouldn't be written nowadays.


Lurlex t1_jd01lrv wrote

To be fair, the actual adult in that fictional narrative had no idea. It looked like adult Tom Hanks, and acted like a lot of men in their twenties — exactly the same way that a 13-year-old acts. :-)


DogfishDave t1_jd02u7i wrote

>To be fair, the actual adult in that fictional narrative had no idea.

Indeed, and the revelation was a deliberate part of the storyline.

I don't know if I was really putting the blame on the fictional character or on the real-world writers 😂


fotomoose t1_jd1vd7h wrote

To be fair, fictional characters are fictional, real-world writers are real. It's pretty clear where the blame lies.


BurtonGusterToo t1_jd213xy wrote

It's weird how every single person who ever viewed this movie is currently in this sub.



Thialase t1_jcyrbja wrote

what a fucking pathetic man child.
Worse is how there are so many more pathetic idiots out there dick-riding this clown


cjlutera t1_jd1h6um wrote

Can we send him to Mars and turn off the radio?


NegativeAd99 t1_jd027is wrote

You do know that twitter doesn’t have a press team, right?


kawaiibunga t1_jd0b5e9 wrote

I mean, it's twitter. It has never been an important platform. They are just casting aside the illusion that getting retweeted three thousand times will make your dreams come true


booga_booga_partyguy t1_jd0bx7g wrote

Then why does every single important person on the planet use it?


KamovInOnUp t1_jd2kyjl wrote

Because it's so meaningless and impersonal. It let's you follow the news or what is essentially a mini blog about famous people you like.

The average "joe-blow" user has no reason to ever post


GrondinWrites t1_jd0ezxa wrote

It used to be one of the best places to share art and updates related to media creation. No, I'm not joking. Twitter before 2016 was a place people shared bad jokes and you could hear what your favorite celeb was up to at the same time. 2016 saw bots infiltrate and the more negative sides started growing.

Elon isn't the cause of what ruined Twitter, he's just a natural evolution of what that site deliberately attracted after a few changes in ideals. About 90% of the things he's implemented existed and then were immediately removed due to controversy or regulations years before he bought the site but people who use the site have famously short memories so they think he magically invented the crap policies.

If it does end up crashing then whatever comes after will likely focus on the art and media aspects as Reddit and even Facebook already catered to most of what Twitter offered, but that's just a guess.

TDLR; important people use it basically because it used to be an art and media update site until interests changed and people aren't leaving the site yet.


PraiseYuri t1_jd1o43g wrote

>It used to be one of the best places to share art and updates related to media creation. No, I'm not joking. Twitter before 2016 was a place people shared bad jokes and you could hear what your favorite celeb was up to at the same time.

All of this is still true as long as you follow relevant people... It's like if you browse Reddit solely through /r/all, you'll see loads of diarrhea from popular subs like funny, gaming, teenagers, etc; you have to curate your subreddit list to get a more enjoyable experience. On Twitter, as long you follow only artists you're interested in, reliable media news sources, and celebs that actually talk on the platform and don't just use it to promote shit... the site is as strong and effective as ever.


Silk__Road t1_jd1tbtu wrote

The mainstream subs are filled with bots that’s why. You can see this by looking at the websites that sell accounts. Look what subs the accounts for sale frequent the most.


GrondinWrites t1_jd3izbv wrote

>filled with bots

Twitter wasn't the only place that happened, yeah. 2016 was the start of a lot of changes to the internet, more than I think people are aware, and one of them was the all social media saw a flood of bots we've still been trying to deal with. Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, probably even DeviantART and Tumblr in all seriousness.


GrondinWrites t1_jd3iqf7 wrote

Not sure if I agree with "as strong and effective as ever", but from my experience I also can't disagree that the site isn't always a total hellscape if you do know where to look. Twitter tries to give you what you already want, which for some people, is all the evil shit they claim they want to escape from. Twitter's too full of attention seekers, which was always there from the start since, hey, this started as a site people told bad jokes. You only tell bad jokes into the either if you were expected a lot of people to laugh and think you were cool.


AllNamesAreTaken92 t1_jd0w16e wrote

Only because you don't use it doesn't mean nobody else does. Pretty sure it's THE platform for discussion nowadays


kawaiibunga t1_jd10qni wrote

My favorite part of today was when dozens of twitter users hit the wah button in a twitter poop emoji thread on reddit to prove that twitter is the foremost platform for consequential discourse


AllNamesAreTaken92 t1_jd11ewq wrote

Can you rephrase that into coherent English?


kawaiibunga t1_jd11wvf wrote

No, it is very difficult to translate "twitter is the foremost platform for consequential discourse" into any modern academic or conversational English. That's the best I can do without perishing of laughter


dotcomet t1_jcz2vyn wrote

Twitter doesn’t have a press team.


Washout22 t1_jczlk51 wrote

That's why it's supposed to be funny.

I mean, it's essentially a dad joke. 🤷


AndromedaEnterprise t1_jd0wrsc wrote

My first thought was “hehe, disgruntled employee set that up and locked it before leaving”

But no

“Going forward it will automatically reply to journalists' inquiries with a single poop emoji, Musk announced — via tweet, of course — on Sunday.”


finevcijnenfijn t1_jd1dgu1 wrote

Elon should have bought 4chan, that seems more his style.


SpankMyButt t1_jd1pzp6 wrote

Since lots of his fans seems to be there, it might be a good fit.


saltyjohnson t1_jd2rn84 wrote

He doesn't need to buy a place where users praise him. He only needs to buy the places where users criticize him.


dtreth t1_jd2i3cu wrote

He could have saved so much money


KamovInOnUp t1_jd2kotk wrote

Why would he want to destroy 4chan?

The dude runs many super successful businesses, he clearly has plans for Twitter and there's no way the entire fiasco isn't some convoluted part of those plans

Edit: Really strange that u/inwhichzeegoesinsaine decided to respond and then block me, but I suppose that's to be expected from these types. To respond to his comment: we'd like to think that he's stupid but the truth of the matter is he's not. He might do stupid stuff but nothing he does is without purpose.


saltyjohnson t1_jd2rw2j wrote

bro Elon bought Twitter accidentally in the course of a clumsy publicity stunt


KamovInOnUp t1_jd2xcnk wrote

I know we want every reason to mock him (not that it's hard to find a reason) but did he really? He definitely didn't sign a check himself, there were probably hundreds of people involved in that deal and there's no way it was a true accident


saltyjohnson t1_jd2ywt5 wrote

I don't believe that he's that stupid as to intentionally commit to buying Twitter for far over its share price and waiving due diligence, spend months trying to wriggle his way out of it citing things that he waived as reasons to cancel the deal, tank his personal net worth causing all of the American banks who were financing him practically for free to pull their deals off the table, and cause him to scramble for new money from Saudi Arabia and others in order to close the deal by the deadline so he wouldn't get saddled with the billion dollar penalty for pulling out.

Calling it an accident is kind. To say he did all that on purpose would be mocking him.


Vel0cir t1_jd00uc3 wrote

I asked it what Elon Musk's favourite thing to eat is


tc2007 t1_jd0sf5j wrote

Musk has bought Twitter for the sole purpose of turning it into a right wing loudspeaker brick by brick.


Elegyjay t1_jcza6bx wrote

Seems like they just boiled up the essence of what the platform has become under its new majority owner.


Algae_Mission t1_jd0usv6 wrote

Such an immature person should not be in charge of so many employees, let alone millions of people’s data.

If he wants to be the “visionary genius” that’s one thing, but he should leave the day-to-day operations of these companies to the adults.


inwhichzeegoesinsane t1_jd8upqn wrote

Dude's basically loudly announcing to the world that twitter's ripe to get replaced. No company is forever and tech companies aren't immune, see the giants of the past few decades that became shells of their former selves by not innovating.

Any network effect twitter might've had will get weaker over time as people bail. Hell, the decentralized shit is complete garbage from a UX standpoint yet it's passed 10m accounts because people into microblogging want to not be on shitter anymore.


The_Real_RM t1_jd2ms71 wrote

He is not in charge of them, they are his employees


Algae_Mission t1_jd3k5l3 wrote

As the owner, he is ultimately responsible for his employees.


The_Real_RM t1_jdbprld wrote

He is responsible to the letter of the law (has to pay them for their work, provide a physically safe environment, etc.). If you start looking into it you'll find he actually doesn't have much responsibility to begin with.

Musk turned into an idiot, or was one to begin with, but we don't limit people's right to do business based on their level of maturity (partly because maturity is subjective, partly because that would mean the world would immediately stop altogether)


paingry t1_jd1427v wrote

"When asked for comment on Monday morning, Twitter promptly responded to NPR's email with a scat symbol." NPR trying to act dignified while talking about poop. immd


soldforaspaceship t1_jd0byz5 wrote

I feel like it's a missed opportunity for journalists to ask for an evaluation of Elon as CEO...


jbjba1234 t1_jd0vb6m wrote

"hello twitter,

I would like to enter into a contractual agreement where you send me $1000/day in return for me simply staying home and relaxing. If you agree please respond with '💩'

Thank you"


inwhichzeegoesinsane t1_jd8vdyj wrote

I'll bet if you came up with an email chain that didn't make it obvious you were aware the autoreply was going to reply with '💩' you could absolutely get one that'd be actionable

Like spend a few paragraphs asking about protected classes or something, then respond with a "clarifying question" regarding the company's stance on said protected classes lol

At minimum Chief Twit will have to add a 'the above was autogenerated, this email is not from a person...' disclaimer


DasGolem t1_jd0ta27 wrote

Elon is 51 going on 15.


MenacingGoldfish t1_jd1ibws wrote

The best part of this is NPR referring to the poop emoji as a "scat symbol"


MundanePlantain1 t1_jd1arqd wrote

welcome to the big leagues. Elons Saudi financier friends are going to be calling in their favours next election.


PersimmonTea t1_jd0srkl wrote

Probably the most honest thing Musk has ever done.


apocolypse101 t1_jd1lhzi wrote

The fact that this is an NPR headline of all outlets made me do a spit-take.


Revenant690 t1_jd21mw2 wrote

The reply is written by twitter's very own, in house large language model (known as Shat?GeeNoTP)

According to Elon, it is so advanced it is indistinguishable, from a real human being responding with a pop emoji, and has successfully replaced the 80% of Twitter staff fired since he acquired Twitter.


10Beers10 t1_jd0vqg7 wrote

Trying to amass email addresses to add more real users?


Titanusgamer t1_jd22wd1 wrote

well honestly press team of any company give BS anyway. case in point PR team of SVB


D-pama t1_jd2g1yd wrote

This 4D chess move is obviously way too intricate for us smooth brains to comprehend. It's definitely not the decision making of someone out of their depth and too far gone to turn back. Nope. It's all by design, Musk is a visionary. Truly the greatest mind of our century... /s


xzombielegendxx t1_jd28mqh wrote

I feel like Elon bashed his own head in, which is why he lost so many of what many had desired about him


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Mammoth_Sprinkles705 t1_jd3wm6j wrote

Let's not forget Elon was Reddit tech Jesus for a good 10 years, the savor of humanity.

This just shows you how dumb the average redditor is... Elon was an obvious con man idiot from day one


inwhichzeegoesinsane t1_jd8t7nv wrote

> An earlier version of this story mistakenly said Musk bought Twitter for $44 million. In fact, he paid $44 billion.



NIN10DOXD t1_jd9ey72 wrote

Elon Musk himself is a shit so nasty even the Cologuard box doesn't want it inside of him.


didgeridoodady t1_jd1oduo wrote

I don't like Twitter I'm alright with this


Silk__Road t1_jd1siw7 wrote

Daily reminder that these comments aren’t a good judge of consensus, most of them are bots - easy to tel check their profiles all anti Elon same talking points just in different orders.


USeaMoose t1_jd04t7e wrote

He goes about it in a dumb way, but I do get the general idea of what he is doing... The theory being that he does not need to communicate things directly to media requests, because he can address them directly to the public through social media.

And whenever I read articles about some controversial thing around a company it either ends with "we have reached out but not heard back", or some canned response, clearly carefully crafted by the PR department. They typically do not add much of value.

I suppose it worked well enough for Tesla, and so he wants to apply it here. But Twitter is a different beast from Tesla, I'm not so sure he'll be happy with the results in the long term. He losses that buffer. That carefully crafted message that would get tacked on to every news article about the current controversy. Maybe he thinks those articles will instead include a tweet by him on whatever it is, but he is constantly putting his foot in his mouth.

Anyways, I guess I think it's a pretty bad move for him to make, but I do not think it is one that's going to harm the public in any way. PR is literally only there so the company can put out their version of the story. It never really gives any insight, just a spin.


Silk__Road t1_jd1suwd wrote

Lmao no replies but the bots got you with the downvotes, fair opinions don’t belong here!


lBeerFartsl t1_jd0bqcl wrote

Finally a CEO giving the media the attention it deserves (none).