Submitted by AmethystOrator t3_xxayhj in nottheonion
Comments
gothicgamelabs t1_irb1vxp wrote
"I'm just happy to see you."
Interesting_Cup8621 t1_irb8tgz wrote
Ball python
Pat_Driver t1_irbbyk6 wrote
Better watch out this Halloween, people will be handing out free pythons to get kids hooked or killed!
CaptainObviousII t1_irbd1xo wrote
Oh shit! Didn't know this was illegal. Thanks, Reddit!
Ozzman4200 t1_irbd5na wrote
I do this everyday, but law enforcement doesn't get involved.
DCErik t1_irbdgmw wrote
Every. Goddamned. Time!
BrenRichGill t1_irbf0c3 wrote
Why? Florida is overrun with them. Just drive down there and gather a few up. No Customs involvement.
lucky_ducker t1_irbjrvf wrote
"I'll take jokes that write themselves for $1000, Alex."
gheiminfantry t1_irbjs7f wrote
That's not a python. I just make the ladies very happy.
FalconFiveZeroNine t1_irbkn0e wrote
That's a very specific crime.
phoenix0153 t1_irbl4lp wrote
Is that a python in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Willygolightly t1_irbroq7 wrote
Pantala Naga Pampa
Nadaplanet t1_irbsiv1 wrote
I used to work for TSA and spent a couple years working at the international checkpoint. This is where people who flew in from other countries would go through security before continuing on to their connecting flights. Once we had a lady come up and, while she was taking off her coat to put it through the x-ray, the person running the metal detector noticed her left breast was moving very erratically, and very awkwardly asked what was causing that. And the lady gave a deep sigh, rolled her eyes, and said "It's just a turtle," and she pulled a tiny baby turtle out. We had to call the customs people to come get her, since animal smuggling is pretty illegal.
Her eye roll though when she said "It's just a turtle..." Like that is a normal thing to have in your bra.
BabblingBishop t1_irbujkv wrote
Really giving life to "a python in his pants" lol
theskyguardian t1_irckw4a wrote
After a brief investigation all charges were dropped
Murgatroyd314 t1_ird1edu wrote
Two-eyed trouser snake.
Throsty t1_irdg5f5 wrote
Well I don't know where you're from, matey...
jamcdonald120 t1_irdqblt wrote
thats racist
Fuzzy_Negotiation_52 t1_irdw9xj wrote
Been accused of the same thing myself cough
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Potential-Gas-2268 t1_irb0rhu wrote
Story of my life, really.