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Regprentice t1_isyv6dh wrote

TLDR The jet fuel leaks from pipes into the local water supply and has caused various issues including children's teeth and hair falling out.

Bad headline but not very onioney.


Jiggidy40 t1_isz1g5k wrote

Yeah the headline is definitely not in line with the article.


PelvicThunderThrust t1_isyv3wo wrote

I served aboard the U.S.S. Kitty Hawk. We long suspected cross contamination in the drinking water.


dmoney83 t1_iszmvzv wrote

No joke, you could smell it when showering. Shitty Kitty definitely had some cross contamination.


escargeaux t1_it05ww7 wrote

Yep! My berthing smelled nothing but JP5. I've got a host of issues stemming from that piece of shit ship. Asbestos and fires breaking out daily.


Timmytanks40 t1_iszrd31 wrote

Something something lowest bidder.


Angdrambor t1_it087ku wrote

It wouldn't matter if the commanding officer gave two shits about anyone in his command.


crawdadicus t1_iszsrq1 wrote

Same thing on USS CORAL SEA (CV-43). Never constipated.


SoulsTransition t1_isyuz8m wrote

Wait till you see NAS Lemoore, Oceana, or any carrier. If this report shocks you, wait till you get a load of those!


GetlostMaps t1_iszn7z8 wrote

This is why I gave it up. Also farting near a camp fire was quite dangerous.


Icy_Mousse_4144 t1_it1j5ll wrote

More of a farting with hair spray and a lighter type of guy myself


Wolfalisk318 t1_it07eip wrote

For those who were expecting some weird sailor cultural thing around consumption of fuel based on the headline and were summarily disappointed, I will gently nudge you to Google "Torpedo Juice", and I promise you will get something closer to what you were expecting from this article.


Fyallorence t1_it6wg0d wrote

They did that on an episode of Always Sunny and I thought, "obviously this is just some insane Charlie shit" and now you tell....this is a thing?!


Sons_of_biscuits t1_it210bv wrote

Wait! Say it ain’t so. The US gov and military poisoned Americans??


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Flappy_pot t1_itahgfl wrote

Highest polluting government industry in the world


oferchrissake t1_it0ni0r wrote

Also this happened to the Albuquerque aquifer. Thanks, Air Force!


JimC29 t1_it0ybbq wrote

Doesn't anyone who posts here understand what this sub is about? This isn't remotely Oniony.


y_pestis1347 t1_it01k3z wrote

This has been going on for months!


TJRvideoman t1_it0llw0 wrote

Friend of mine served on the USS Enterprise. Said the water always tasted like JP-5. Nice.


Ok-Confidence-2878 t1_it0mwg9 wrote

This literally just happened to the USS Nimitz. I’m not positive it’s been completely resolved.


jeetah t1_itmrlxb wrote

I guess they let the intern come up with the headline for this tory


HoppityHooper t1_isznkec wrote

So it doesn't just give you gas?