You must log in or register to comment.

Cocoyabee t1_iu2fu5h wrote

Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew.


heyyy_oooo OP t1_iu2f5tv wrote

Someone pulls this and they’ve got an 83% chance of a potato flying through their window


Zolo49 t1_iu2u9pj wrote

That's why you hand out french fries instead.


AKBrewer t1_iu2huv3 wrote

Why? There's still candy there. Simply allowing a choice


heyyy_oooo OP t1_iu3leh6 wrote

I know, for the record I think this is awesome and super wholesome, but when I first saw the title that’s what my automatic reaction was. I imagine ringing a doorbell, holding out a bag of candy expectantly, and watching this guy just drop a fucking potato in instead, and the idea made me crack up way longer than I’m willing to admit.


AKBrewer t1_iu5rjkm wrote

Hah! He just stares you dead in the eye as you feel the heft of an Idaho spud plunk down in your candy bag. Yeah that's a guaranteed potato through the window. Allowing the choice is dope though.


SaltyTart1050 t1_iu49u06 wrote

Idk, for me trick or treat is about the trick too. I’ll often give a kid an onion or a parsnip as a joke on Halloween. I always give them candy in the end, but it’s pretty hilarious to deadpan give a kid a potato.

Only one kid so far has gratefully and unquestioningly taken a vegetable, every other kid just gets a look of straight confusion.


Such-Wrongdoer-2198 t1_iu4kelu wrote

That's what I was thinking too. I think giving out toilet paper is a better idea.


Dynamo_Ham t1_iu4c6yu wrote

I got a few apples as a kid, and they definitely just ended up getting chucked at something, often the house the gave them out.


bilateralrope t1_iu5gjy4 wrote

That might be safer for the kid than expecting whoever offered the potatoes to have prepared them in hygienic conditions.


Zolo49 t1_iu2uv2n wrote

>Foy is known around his hometown as the “Potato Man.” Every year, the trick-or-treaters of Lancaster flock to his house for a quick break from a sea of sugar to say hello and grab a potato. The tradition has gotten so popular that not even a pandemic could stop it. When COVID-19 hit, Foy, with the help of a friend, built a potato chute out of PVC pipe to deliver potatoes from a distance.
>“They were like missiles coming down,” he said. “The kids loved it.”

Okay, I'll admit that is pretty cool.


ash_274 t1_iu3wsip wrote

Halloween 2020 had several homes in my neighborhood with plastic pipes from second-floor windows for candy dispensing. Only a few last year


ddejong42 t1_iu5el7r wrote

Generally using PVC pipe to send potatoes like missiles is discouraged.


Zolo49 t1_iu66maw wrote

I don't see it mentioned in the Geneva Conventions anywhere, so I'm sure it's fine.


Adventurous_toast23 t1_iu6lec5 wrote

I'm surprised the kids actually wanted potatoes. I'd love it if a house handed out baked potatoes or French fries though. Or just had trays of pasta out for people to take.


peensteen t1_iu6nuko wrote

Exactly, COOKED potatoes! What the hell does a kid do with raw potatoes?


gisco_tn t1_iu2k46q wrote

Not the onion indeed.


woodnwheel t1_iu2x9p8 wrote

I had a similar thought: “At least it wasn’t the onion industry.”


JimC29 t1_iu312l7 wrote

This should be a top level comment. Perfect an Onion article then


[deleted] t1_iu2gh4b wrote



TrekkieElf t1_iu43uxx wrote

Well unlike a rock, a potato is still useful as it is edible. Much like the coal in the stocking. Not that I support such.


Vei_de_Lapis t1_iu2ksrt wrote

Window repair companies also endorse this trend.


DaddyUncleDarren t1_iu2w4r8 wrote

"Potatoes USA Encourages Potatoes..."

Hmm... definitely not biased...


siquq t1_iu2uhf0 wrote

Do you want a potato in your car's tailpipe? Because that's how you get a potato in your car's tailpipe.


ctiger12 t1_iu2qlse wrote

A bag of baby potatoes? Great idea!


Mountain-Homework299 t1_iu2kamg wrote

Better than almond joy


Zolo49 t1_iu2uf4g wrote

I'll trade you your Almond Joys for these Smarties.


JudgeHodorMD t1_iu3twoy wrote

Personally, I’d rather avoid nuts when handing out candy to a ton of kids I don’t know.


MomentOfHesitation t1_iu2vod7 wrote

I'm actually eating potatoes more often after learning that they're quite nutritious.


JimC29 t1_iu3190l wrote

Cheapest meal. I make a lot on the weekend then eat them all week.


whynonamesopen t1_iu4zg3x wrote

A diet of potatoes and some dairy is nutritionally complete for humans!


redditaccount71987 t1_iuac0r1 wrote

Yep. The main concern with potatoes is their high glycemic index and rapid blood sugar rise which is similar to that seen after eating white sugar. If eaten properly they are a great dietary addition. Diabetics and those with other restricted diets have more specially tailored instructions but for those without issues the rule of thumb is just to not to overdo it.


mlorusso4 t1_iu2t548 wrote

This seems like a great way to get a potato thrown through your window


Fiesteh t1_iu2yhea wrote

No kid would say no to a potato. Great idea!


Zapdroid t1_iu32np7 wrote

I actually once received a potato for Halloween. Made a delicious microwaved baked potato!


GrayZeus t1_iu35t9n wrote

Indeed tis not an onion, tis potato


Larry_Phischman t1_iu2lwqr wrote

That’s the worst Halloween idea I’ve ever heard. I LOVE IT!


Snakestream t1_iu2nk6a wrote

Turn them potatoes into Vodka and I'm 100% on board.


kamarsh79 t1_iu2ucu5 wrote

As long as they aren’t those fentanyl potato.


CamDaHuMan t1_iu32t4a wrote

I’d rather get fentanyl /s


Smeegs666 t1_iu32t8a wrote

'I just think they're neat.'


hypnos_surf t1_iu38i86 wrote

Russia’s strategies for taking down the US is looking desperate.


jamcdonald120 t1_iu3npq0 wrote

er... I mean... I love potatoes... Buuuut....


Ragin_Irishman t1_iu3od0r wrote

The humble potato is the reason for Europes expansions of the world.


PhuckBigMoney t1_iu3tofx wrote

ya...just try to put that in my candy bag - every kid in America.


gravelnavel77 t1_iu3uek2 wrote

If I ended up with a potato as a kid I'd have been devastated. Today, presented with the same choice? Fire up the oven.


Alacritous13 t1_iu3vi99 wrote

Just give them raw eggs, it's safer and won't break your windows like this will.


kaisaline t1_iu4mn8v wrote

Just skip the potato and straight up hand them eggs and toilet paper.


sjukfan t1_iu5k64q wrote

Great minds think alike. I was thinking of giving out tater tots or something so the kids never come back.


Mecharonin t1_iu2kt61 wrote

This feels less Oniony and more "Adult Swim Original circa 2004"


mehwars t1_iu2lal4 wrote

Only if it comes with a pork chop or meatloaf


Stachemaster86 t1_iu2scg5 wrote

Eat potatoes and love longer. 🎶There’s no need to go all the way to Idaho, Wisconsin grows potatoes. 🎶


[deleted] t1_iu2xm34 wrote



AutoModerator t1_iu2xm5v wrote

Sorry, but your account is too new to post. Your account needs to be either 2 weeks old or have at least 250 combined link and comment karma. Don't modmail us about this, just wait it out or get more karma.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.


DoinitaV t1_iu3wx2g wrote

Why not fruit instead of candy? Oranges, mango, apple, or nuts? Much healthier choice than candy


EfficientAccident418 t1_iu41wpg wrote

Tbh if my kid got decent potatoes in her trick or treat bag I would not be disappointed


Silicon_Knight t1_iu42p9f wrote

This is more terrifying that drugs in candy. At least with drugs you will get high and a new hobby. This is just cruel.


CinZ42 t1_iu4gald wrote

How to get your house egged 101.....


Vegan_Harvest t1_iu4mjnx wrote

Unless it's like a bowl of french fries I can't imagine I'd be happy to get potatoes for Halloween.


day7seven t1_iu4mp79 wrote

With the way the economy is going, by next year people may prefer free potatoes so they can feed their family.


MoxieCottonRules t1_iu4odv6 wrote

Sending this to my 10 yr old who thinks potatoes are an affront to humanity.


macbot3000 t1_iu4sxom wrote

Just drop a big ol’ ladle of mashed in each bag.

Kids love that!


SaphirePool t1_iu4u6uk wrote

My cousin was 6 when he got an apple and said to the person's face, "This is not a good one."


TMLTurby t1_iu4w4fb wrote

Not to take away from the nutrient value of potatoes over candy, but potatoes are basically all sugar. They have a glycemic index of 80-90; table sugar has a GI of 59.


eatingganesha t1_iu4x0m0 wrote

News just in - Potatoes USA appoints Sasha as CEO.


vols2943 t1_iu4x9dl wrote

Make it into french fries first


SlenDman402 t1_iu4zqek wrote

Well ma'am, for the third year runnin, ya given me a potato


BubblyNebula t1_iu5017e wrote

Big potato at it again with their potato propaganda


crowd79 t1_iu50t49 wrote

For Halloween I want a Mr. Potato Head


Heliolord t1_iu54kw4 wrote

How about we split the difference? Sweet potato with a baggie of brown sugar and marshmallows.


jrock7979 t1_iu5g9lr wrote

More like: "Eggs USA Encourages Potatoes Instead Of Halloween Candy"


4quatloos t1_iu6ki1r wrote

Watch out, some potatoes are laced with fentanyl!


peensteen t1_iu6nner wrote

Go on, try it! See how many end up crashing through your window afterwards. It's like the one lady who gives out raisins, and ends up with her house getting egged.


ribeye256 t1_iu6phno wrote

I'll eat some nice spooky mashed tatos any day!


TricksterWolf t1_iu9hdjt wrote

These guys need to state a conflict of interest.


AF_AF t1_iu9lje8 wrote

"This message has been paid for by Potatoes USA."

"I'm a potato and I approved this message."


WolpertingerFL t1_iub03vc wrote

Make sure they're soft before you hand them out, because they're coming back through your window.


RawrIhavePi t1_iugaouy wrote

My toddler loves baked potatoes, so she'd be good with this.


Raw_Venus t1_iu3a4i1 wrote

Do you want your house to get egged? Because this is how you get your house egged.


Ragtime-Rochelle t1_iu3f4dk wrote

If someone gave me a potato instead of candy I would accept that as an invitation that you wish for me to egg your house.