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Idealistic_Crusader t1_iwjmqzk wrote

Haha, so, I volunteered to announce my girlfriends much younger step brothers, little league baseball game, as I have a very outgoing attitude and tended to cheer for both sides at any game we attended that season anyway, so they all figured I would be a great MC.

3 days, 10 hours a day, microphone in hand, full improv, I was bound to say something wrong at least once.

I made it my goal to give every kid a killer nickname, which was the highlight of everyone's weekend, but the error came while coming up with unique ways to emphasize how hard they hit the ball.

A man can only say sockin dingers, and crushing rocks so many times before he goes crazy, so my mind pulls out the phrase;

"He's slamming the salmon!"

Which, all I know is, the title of a broken lizard film.

While shit. My girlfriend comes running up to me 2 minutes later informing me a handful of parents are rolling their eyes that I just shouted a euphemism into a loudspeaker with an audience of about 200.

Since when is slamming the salmo... on, yeah... I get it now.

So, I just tuck and rolled like nothing happened and goggled any weird sayings before hollering them at kids and grand parents.

Great weekend.

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