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OutlandishCat t1_iwmt6j9 wrote

this is one of the first headlines on this sub that made me stop and reread for a few seconds


Dr___Krieger OP t1_iwmuio5 wrote

Heard it on my radio show today, I immediately thought "that's the onion".

Then they said "this is an actual story" and I just kinda sat there and stared off. Unimaginable


oxnardhard t1_iwnvfu9 wrote

Buddy what radio station, just out of curiosity?


somegurl408 t1_iwo95kf wrote

He's not your buddy, Guy.


JJK-85 t1_iwok40o wrote

He’s not your guy, pal.


Im_not_creepy3 t1_iwoqfh7 wrote

He's not your pal, friend


CozMrOTW t1_iwosfqh wrote

Hes not your friend, homie.


Senorsaz t1_iwot86x wrote

He's not your homie, mate


A_True_Loot_Goblin t1_iwov8nb wrote

He’s not your mate, dude


Larmefaux t1_iwoy8sp wrote

He's not your dude, bro.


hokarina t1_iwoyzme wrote

I'm not your bro, chap.


DeltaFoxtrotX7 t1_iwozbrw wrote

I'm not your chap, man.


_Kramerica_ t1_iwnme0y wrote

With all the insanity of world these days it’s very hard to get a true wtf /r/nottheonion post but this definitely achieved that.


TommyTuttle t1_iwn7yqj wrote

Caught? It’s not illegal now is it? I don’t see that anywhere in the list of prohibited items


DeeplyTroubledSmurf t1_iwnvh4d wrote

Sex toys in general are illegal in the UAE, so she's more being warned not to step out of the airport until the situation is legal or she'll be arrested.

In this case she'd need to disclose human remains, x-ray the butt-plug which is now declared an urn, and she can carry it with her.


nagi603 t1_iwqciqq wrote

> which is now declared an urn, and she can carry it with her.

Are there any restrictions as to where / how she can carry them? :D


DeeplyTroubledSmurf t1_iwr0jbh wrote

In the UAE, you have to wear urns dangling around your neck and people need to kiss it as a sign of mourning before speaking to you.

I made that one up, because I think the real answer is just "as long as it's not in an orifice acting as a sex toy".


Raichu7 t1_iwnn2m3 wrote

You sure buttplugs aren’t illegal in the UAE? They have a lot of weird and shitty laws.


Dry_Grade9885 t1_iwmp0hd wrote

And did they atleast try to charge her extra for bringing her bf with without paying for him?


rabidmob t1_iwo1m67 wrote

If she wasn't wearing him, he could have just been a part of her carry on.


Shadpool t1_iwpvd05 wrote

Not always. My dad’s ashes came with the necessary paperwork to get them through security at the airport, should I decide to spread them elsewhere.


WirelessBCupSupport t1_iwmf9ux wrote

Ok. This wins todays news. Dead B/F ashes in buttplug. "He's in his favourite place"....

"Its an ASHole!"


joshhupp t1_iwnbhin wrote

"It is unclear if she was allowed to take the sex toy with her."

Lol. Can you imagine security asking to have her hand it over?


samyazaa t1_iwnepe3 wrote

Hahah “ok so inspection is over, you’re free to go.” puts it back in and walks out


chasonreddit t1_iwmrg5l wrote

This can't be the first butt plug they've ever seen. Who cares?


Otaraka t1_iwn1wyh wrote

I imagine the problem was thinking the ashes were drugs


Jury_Of_Your_Fears t1_iwnbjw4 wrote

She walked through a metal detector in a place with notoriously high security with a piece of metal in her ass...


chasonreddit t1_iwnfyi5 wrote

I didn't see in the article where it was metal, but yea, the UAE can be a little anal about such things.


Jury_Of_Your_Fears t1_iwnhlb7 wrote

LMAO (laugh my ass-plug out) I saw a picture on another article. Half baked publicity stunt, if I had to guess... I mean, it could have been her grandmother's wedding ring, if it's metal and in your butt, you're in for a bad time at the airport.


RichardSaunders t1_iwnw5se wrote

wedding rings dont typically set off metal detectors

nor do glasses or silver cuff links


danielv123 t1_iwqokii wrote

Airport security is irrational. They can never decide how many trays they want you to use. Put jacket on top of computer vs seperate tray. Stack computers vs not stack. They keep saying shoes on, but with protective boots that's just stupid but some won't listen. With the newer hands up to the sides machines they always say not to take anything off, but they always trip on the shoulders on my wool shirts and then they spend a while searching.

Screwdrivers they only bother to steal like 10% of the time.


I_AM_TESLA t1_iwo8pdi wrote

It’s the UAE… they care a lot about things like sex toys


chasonreddit t1_iwpghvr wrote

A very good point. There are problem less concerned with security or possible drug smuggling than they are by the fact that someone a woman might actually enjoy sex.


we_are_all_bananas_2 t1_iwmaj9g wrote

Assholes all around who expose her. Just let her smh


chadenright t1_iwncbfj wrote

smuggling a bit of white powder through the airport in a dildo, your first thought is -not- going to be, "oh those are her boyfriend's ashes, duh."


ermghoti t1_iwn2kam wrote

Extreme pucker factor. This story has a lot of wrinkles. Seems like a shitty tribue to me though.


flapadar_ t1_iwn48ot wrote

So that's how Hans Neimann did it


Dr___Krieger OP t1_iwn4mbq wrote

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will be kicked off...


[deleted] t1_iwo3exk wrote

Petrosian bot fails to deliver on r/nottheonion apparently


Dr___Krieger OP t1_iwo60bm wrote

See, you understand me


[deleted] t1_iwo65zi wrote

I like how everyone assumed you were just being a complete asshole unprovoked 😭 not their fault for not getting the reference but still


yzrguy t1_iwmgwso wrote

Alternative title: Shitty boyfriend smuggled in Buttons booty.


Harvey-Danger1917 t1_iwmo8rs wrote

Is her boyfriend okay with this?


rtb001 t1_iwnwpji wrote

But it is his favorite place!


DarCam7 t1_iwn8fig wrote

This is too much "internet" even for the internet.


_welcome t1_iwp7j3q wrote

that's...kind of sweet? in a fucked up way


Mitthrawnuruo t1_iwnpork wrote

I’m not sure we could have a more poignant example of why this useless security theater is a unacceptable invasion of our privacy.


WillemDafoesHugeCock t1_iwnzpq5 wrote

Wearing a buttplug for a long time is not good for you, only an idiot would wear one for a whole-ass flight.


tangcameo t1_iwo1jcb wrote

Excuse me. Gotta go revise my will.


Smugglers151 t1_iwpka54 wrote

Why is this anybody’s business but hers?


paul-d9 t1_iwnib2i wrote

Caught? Its not like she was doing something wrong. What an out of touch title. People should be ashamed to report in what someone decides to do with the ashes of their loved one.


BowzersMom t1_iwnk3k9 wrote

Caught by airport security in UAE….yeah, metal butt plugs in countries with morality laws is a pretty risky decision.


Jullyfish t1_iwnv6hg wrote

Oh that was real? I remember seeing that on another sub and I mocked it up as an exaggeration. Who do you even go to to get a butt plug filled with ashes?


TheFirstUranium t1_iwo05yd wrote

Well I'd imagine the hard part is getting a hollow butt plug, although someone might make them for smuggling...other substances.

As for the ashes, just throw a little in there out of the urn.


kevinds t1_iwo97im wrote

>Well I'd imagine the hard part is getting a hollow butt plug

>She also stated that the sex toy was a gift from her boyfriend before he died

Nothing in the article even says anything about ashes, aside from the first line repeating the headline.. I'm thinking it is just a really bad article.


liquidtodd t1_iwp107n wrote

This is actually kinda sweet, right? ;-)


YoosAbitch t1_iwp3xy9 wrote

This would be the ONLY time it would be justified for someone to throw a fit at the airport.


notyourusername1776 t1_iwplusu wrote

Honestly, this woman sounds amazing and I want to be her friend


riktigtmaxat t1_iwpr04v wrote

This is very romantic in a very strange way.


[deleted] t1_iwmaie6 wrote



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JoanNoir t1_iwmwd99 wrote

A snugly fitting tribute to her boyfriend.


YakInner4303 t1_iwn7c9o wrote

I guess this means airport security can detect explosive butt plugs. :/


[deleted] t1_iwnkued wrote she could get internet points


Ihlita t1_iwnqj3x wrote

Uhh…brand new sentence?


VintageHacker t1_iwnrkz0 wrote

Funny if those ashes turned out to be some other white powdery type substance, butt nobody was game to check. Law student...


rofopp t1_iwnw59i wrote

peas clap


rabidmob t1_iwo1uu5 wrote

When the Mile-high club was your dying wish.


criticalpwnage t1_iwo4vsw wrote

She should have waited until she got to where she was going to put the butt plug in.


Throckmo t1_iwoabe5 wrote

Did she kill him first ?


OldBob10 t1_iwobfov wrote

That’s fucked up.


MrMadrona t1_iwocq5w wrote

They're just trying to cheat at chess smh


neighbor_jim t1_iwoev9d wrote

So is she wearing his cremains up her ass as a sign of affection or as some kind of next-level revenge?


Dr___Krieger OP t1_iworu8j wrote

Did you read the article? It was his "favorite place"


a_phantom_limb t1_iwojw54 wrote

Any way to verify that this actually happened?


Dr___Krieger OP t1_iworxwv wrote

NY Post, Yahoo, and all posted too lol


a_phantom_limb t1_iwosm0f wrote

My point was really just that if the only source is a story on someone's TikTok, it's hard to tell whether it really happened.


RobertusesReddit t1_iwoogwb wrote

When you love someone too much beyond death...


S-Vagus t1_iwova10 wrote

That's some serious devotion to a partner's orgasm. Bravo!


Exnixon t1_iwovvxy wrote

We all grieve in different ways.


ZeroAfro t1_iwp0e45 wrote

My goal in life is to have a woman who would do this if I died in my life. Lol


DanelleDee t1_iwpfim6 wrote

Explain how the butt plug with his ashes inside of it was a gift from him before he died.

I'm assuming it was hollow? But it's much funnier to imagine him lopping off an extremity and setting it on fire before his death.


dozenspileofash t1_iwposvu wrote


What a fitting name for this incident.


ToptenRubs t1_iwq2sis wrote

They call him Dildaniel


ChriddyBo t1_iwqavr7 wrote

Put ya boyfriend in your bum, it’s fun!


pikecat t1_iwqcc0d wrote

That must be one big ass butt plug to fit a whole person's ashes in it.


Dr___Krieger OP t1_iwqfslb wrote

Oddly enough I used to work in the cemetery industry. You're right, it was probably a small portion of the cremated remains.

What if...


d4nk0d2 t1_iwqi4c8 wrote

I wish i didnt read this


MatataTheGreat t1_iwoa98p wrote

I'm guessing she was testing it to see if she could bring drugs next time instead if ashes if it worked the first time.