Submitted by ChunkySoup6 t3_yynsqg in nottheonion
Comments
Elmore0394 t1_iwv6jpq wrote
>Shit is fire.
Oh shit, you got that burning feel too? My bad.. I thought I had it under control
jordantask t1_iwweyz3 wrote
[deleted] t1_iwxi4yg wrote
[removed]
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OmegaPsiot t1_iwv59cg wrote
> allegedly gave the CI Cheez Doodles, robbed them, and then drug them across the road using his car before taking off.
Shit, as if the doodles weren't insult enough
GrumpusBear t1_iwv6xvs wrote
He was charged with possession and intent to deal, but the article doesn't state if he had meth on him or not. Anymore info on this?
alexxerth t1_iwvarmj wrote
Yeah I'm curious about that too.
Surely it would be some kind of fraud, or false advertising or something?
Sleepy_Tortoise t1_iwvnpna wrote
Even if you sell someone fake drugs to rip them off you still can get hit with "intent to distribute" if they have other evidence of you setting up the deal under the pretense of selling drugs anyway
Pleasant_Quantity_12 t1_iwyb38h wrote
That is unfathomably stupid if true. This is yet another reason why our prisons are so damn overflowed. 🤦🏾♂️
RadicalIslamicMonkey t1_iwwj63x wrote
How far can you push the fake drugs?
For example if the 'dealer' set up a deal to sell you Ice (meth street name) and sold you a bag of crushed ice from McDonalds could you get charged for "intent to distribute?"
PaxNova t1_iwwy5fw wrote
I'd be less worried about the police and more worried about the angry druggies.
Helstar_RS t1_iwvol9v wrote
It's like I forgot the charge. In Maryland it's like fraud sham CDS but fraud in all states but since it's Cheetos idk if that would be worse than just regular fraud but probably since it was sold as drugs.
Right-Huckleberry574 t1_iwvb857 wrote
lmao
The absolute state of police. What a bunch of failures.
dukeimre t1_iwyy3pu wrote
While it's perhaps funny that the criminal gave someone cheese doodles while attempting to rob them, they were, in fact, a criminal, and they did get caught. So I'm not sure this particular example is one demonstrating a failure of policing.
Right-Huckleberry574 t1_iwz993e wrote
Attempting to perform a drug bust and instead getting a bag of cheez doodles and getting robbed is a definitive failure.
dukeimre t1_iwziw2b wrote
If in fact the police officers had been robbed and the culprit had gotten away, that'd clearly be a failure. But if you try to catch a drug dealer and that drug dealer attempts to rob you and you catch him, you have now caught someone who not only deals drugs but robs their customers - seems like a success to me!
The perp was arrested for "possession with intent to sell". In other words, it seems like he had drugs and was offering to sell them, but in this particular instance he chose to instead attempt theft. The only indication I see of a possible error is that the officers put the confidential informant in danger -- that person presumably didn't sign up to get attacked.
(And obviously there are corrupt officers who make stuff up, so it's always possible that the perp didn't actually have drugs and they were planted on him, etc. etc. But I'm taking the article at face value for the sake of argument.)
HungryLikeTheWolf99 t1_iwv9dfp wrote
And when the informant looked in the bag, he realized he'd better be halfway across the country in a witness protection program by later that day, because he was busted.
CurrentlyLucid t1_iwvkyu2 wrote
I can see charging him with robbery, assault and battery, but not intent to sell, he intended to sell cheese doodles to a clown.
ZankTheGreat t1_iww47hf wrote
Shouldn’t of sold the bag with [no resale] printed on the back.
Kangar t1_iwvfepa wrote
First one's free and spicy
TricksterWolf t1_iwvccfs wrote
"Can you score me some of the orange?"
jay22022 t1_iww03uu wrote
It ain't easy slingin cheezey.
BillyQz t1_iww48rs wrote
Seems like a Cheesy bust to me
hedgerow_hank t1_iww76j0 wrote
The "war on drugs" stumbles on... stupidly... unabated.
jamcdonald120 t1_iww932y wrote
> Pierrelouis was arraigned on felony charges ...possession with intent to sell ...
TIL It was illegal to possess and sell Cheez Doodles
saraphilipp t1_iwxbmvh wrote
When the cheeto package explicitly says not for individual resale.
mad_marbled t1_iwym496 wrote
> ...then drug them across the road using his car before taking off.
How did he use his vehicle to drug the CI from across the road?
So first he tries to sell the CI some shit, but then gives him a taste on the house?
using his vehicle?
from across the road?
TheFlusteredcustard t1_iwz72g3 wrote
Past tense of drag
mad_marbled t1_iwzwinw wrote
You mean dragged?
TheFlusteredcustard t1_iwzy8vl wrote
Both are acceptable.
Crooked_Cock t1_ix2jkq1 wrote
I’d take cheez doodles over meth any day, them shit’s delicious
BillTowne t1_iwvpk9p wrote
Not a drug crime. But fraud is a different crime.
BirdsbirdsBURDS t1_iwz5www wrote
hey! That man defrauded me of my illegal drugs that I have attempted to buy under false pretenses in order to entrap!”
Zealousideal_Belt_17 t1_iwv5b4u wrote
I’ll suck yo dick for some Flaming Hot Cheetos man. Shit is fire.