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likeinsaaaaw t1_iy64vpn wrote

If you think that bullshit's frustrating never play risk.


Dudeist-Priest t1_iy6dn6y wrote

If you get mad playing risk, NEVER play Diplomacy


Sir-Viette t1_iy6rx97 wrote

This week, Meta launched an open source Diplomacy-playing AI called Cicero. So now our computers can get mad and punch out brothers for us.


sivf18 t1_iy74gdm wrote

Shit I don’t know which is scarier, a mad jester obsessed with corpse or an AI. That name are bad news


Rezzone t1_iy7nnby wrote

A Diplomacy reference in the wild. I am beaming.


Mummelpuffin t1_iy95jz5 wrote

Never heard of this before, but Neptune's Pride has a similar vibe, specifically like playing Diplomacy PBP. It's all alliances and backstabbing, and it takes many IRL hours for ships to move between star systems and for research to happen. Games can potentially last a month. Playing it with people you know is a nightmare since real life continues on as you all erode each other's trust.


Dudeist-Priest t1_iy9bizm wrote

> Neptune's Pride

Sweet! I'm a board game fan and this is right up my alley. Nice to have a web-based option


OneFingerIn t1_iy6brwi wrote

I've been punched by my brother during a game of Risk. The punch was preceded by allegations of collusion.


sterfri99 t1_iy6eliy wrote

Of course, it being Risk, there definitely was collusion


OneFingerIn t1_iy6lrl5 wrote

As there should be. When one player starts getting stronger than the others, you have to collude against that player or they'll steamroll you both.


tristanjones t1_iy9hvqz wrote

I once bribed a sibling with a milk shake for a 1 turn alliance.


throwtheclownaway20 t1_iy6bnqq wrote

Risk takes so long to play, they'd all have sobered up before shit got really tense.


manbirddog t1_iy7zli5 wrote

If it takes longer than 3 hours, y’all ain’t being risky enough


tristanjones t1_iy9hq3h wrote

You can play as a computer game now, I think for free. Helps it go much faster. 15 to 45 minutes I'd guess. All the dice rolling and figure moving taken away speeds it up a ton


GabeTheJerk t1_iyb65yj wrote

I began a game of it 3 years ago. We arent done yet.

The game got burnt in a small clasroom fire but still-


291000610478021 t1_iy6kr6v wrote

I've been married 14 years and Risk caused the biggest argument to date in our marriage.

We didn't speak for 2 days ha


Canadian47 t1_iy6ed86 wrote

That's for amateurs as well, Settlers of Catan is the game to play for family conflict.


Gaviel t1_iy6o0pl wrote

Odd enough one of the worst fights I've seen was from someone using the monopoly card in Catan.


Spindrune t1_iy7ji32 wrote

The card just inherently brings feel bads. Like ask who has x to trade and then just take it all.


broforange t1_iy785np wrote

when me and my friends play catan we always call it 'breakin apart the family'. theres always someone who gets butthurt lol


Sarsmi t1_iy9977l wrote

Ah, the divorce game. It's been a while.


GeneralNathanJessup t1_iy6c03y wrote

Ukraine is not weak!


LogCareful7780 t1_iy6p7hd wrote

Yeah, well, we're playing a game here, pal.


shingofan t1_iy6xl9g wrote

Ukraine is game to you?!

(On a slightly related note, recent events made that scene better to me)


LogCareful7780 t1_iy72wqq wrote

Everyone was making memes about that scene when the Donbas war started in 2014


themengsk1761 t1_iy70uzp wrote

I firmly believe Risk is a tool of Australian diplomacy to deter anyone from ever trying to invade them. Once a player has Australia, they cannot lose.


likeinsaaaaw t1_iy723g3 wrote

Play with good players and Australia is just a trap


WyattfuckinEarp t1_iy8cf8w wrote

Correct, Iceland is key. It's all about collecting cards not about holding south America or Australia


rdsox13 t1_iy71k4t wrote

To hell with that... fights broke out over games of Sorry, I'm not even thinking about Risk


Derpinator_420 t1_iy76oi3 wrote

My cousin invented the term, "Nuking the board". It's flipping the whole table over in a drunken rage.


bateees t1_iy8uixu wrote

i used to play risk on the sega genesis


likeinsaaaaw t1_iy8w4hy wrote

There's a really good app now. It's a lot of fun with tons of expanded maps and different play styles. I highly recommend.

But tons of collaboration (fucking Canadians are the worst cheaters I swear) but the bad doesn't outweigh the good.


uginscion t1_iy666fq wrote

I'm not saying that I agree with how it went down. I'm saying I get it.


essgee_ai t1_iy67lnu wrote

Fr. I read the headline and my thought was, "I'm surprised more games don't end like that."


247Brett t1_iy7jxa8 wrote

The game was intentionally designed to be bullshit in order to point out the flaws of capitalism. The rage is intended.


blakewoolbright t1_iy9zig9 wrote

My brother put my head through a window after a particularly competitive slap-jack game. We’ve all been there.


jaybazzizzle t1_iy67d77 wrote

Man immediately released when he produced paper 'Get Out of Jail Free' card


cykickass t1_iy6p9tw wrote

Good luck with jury selection. Ain’t gonna find anyone who hasn’t been in his shoes during a family monopoly game and wanted to do the exact same thing!


caskey t1_iy67i77 wrote

Booo story doesn't say that the conflict was related to game play or not.

That said, I would require weapons to be checked at the door in even the friendliest game of Monopoly.


Rosebunse t1_iy695c5 wrote

And that includes any and all utensils and hair brets


sneaky_squirrel t1_iy6yg5z wrote

I don't care how friendly you claim it is, I am not going to engage in a fight to the death.


shellevanczik t1_iy65f4u wrote

Never play monopoly with friends or family.


p5ych0babble t1_iy7hq45 wrote

It’s usually the biggest asshole at the table who wins too.


Nimelennar t1_iy9blgg wrote

Given that it's supposed to simulate capitalism, that's just realism.


Ez13zie t1_iy7peve wrote

Monopoly is so realistic only one person has fun playing it.


InSanic13 t1_iy6bl33 wrote

Especially not while drinking, as this family apparently was.


v3ritas1989 t1_iy7ec83 wrote

Unless you use incorporate shots into your rent payments.


standardtrickyness1 t1_iy6gyvm wrote

How do those parker brothers sleep at night.


kevinds t1_iy6nhx1 wrote

>How do those parker brothers sleep at night.

They made the game hoping to show people why a single person owning everything was bad...

So working as intended..


PlsNope OP t1_iy6u165 wrote

They didn't make the game. A woman made it to try and push people towards Georgism, which is a political ideology saying that land ownership and the benefits of such should be collectively owned by all.


Schuano t1_iy7nsoy wrote

Was that Georgian in the twenties?

Modern Georgism is the idea that land should be taxed based on the value of the land itself rather than improvements.


1iIiii11IIiI1i1i11iI t1_iy6x386 wrote

Well...they bought the game from some guy who stole it from a woman, and then when they found out about that, they went to the woman and paid her a paltry amount for the rights. So it does show the evils of capitalism, just not in the way originally intended.


ialwaystealpens t1_iy6u8t1 wrote

“After knocking over the game board and turning over furniture, they were told to take the fight outside”

And to think I always thought knocking over the board and throwing pieces at your sister was just part of the game.


SevroAuShitTalker t1_iy6crdp wrote

I was playing with coworkers once in college, by the 2nd game, one dude (who we knew had anger problems) was threatening to punch another guy over a roll. They were also trying to trade work shifts for properties.

Monopoly destroys all relationships


i-opener t1_iy6e56l wrote

Fucking amateur hour!

Our family has endured numerous fights at the piece picking stage of the game!


Snakestream t1_iy6r5kf wrote

What game of monopoly DOESN'T end in violence?


full_bl33d t1_iy6wmrc wrote

In high school we played for money and as a sort of drinking game. One of our larger friends was eating out of a box of Cookie Crisp cereal and also somehow winning. Nobody really considered it was weird for him to eat a box of cereal since he was really getting into his groove as big fat party animal. But when he went to the bathroom, someone took his cereal box out of frustration and maybe because he was hungry too and lo and fucking behold a stash of monopoly cash in there. He had brought extra bills from his house, stashed them in the cereal box and was cheating us. Needless to say, we beat the crap out of him. But it wasn’t that gruesome. He was really a big fat party animal so it was like kids harassing a bear. He took his lumps, cursed us to eternity for destroying his box of cereal and we all went back to underage drinking and gambling. Best monopoly day ever.


mdeltam t1_iy6y5gq wrote

I’m just going to put this legal monopoly dick move out there:

You land on someone’s property and are about to go bankrupt.

Before you declare bankruptcy you can always trade properties for cash to try to make the rent. You trade everything you own and all your cash to someone you want to win for one of their dollars.

Then when you declare bankruptcy the landlord gets everything you have left, a dollar.

I only use this if someone is being completely insufferable. It doesn’t help, but at least now they have a reason.


GOLDANDAPPELINC t1_iy7zg0c wrote

Okay, that particular dick move is actually legal, but still a dick move. The game was invented to bash capitalism, after all, and nobody who is losing hard isn't going to eg: help his wife out if he wants the rest of the evening to go well. I'm talking more about the shit people do that makes it take forever (the chief complaint) such as the "Free Parking Pot" and refusing to trade at all.


GOLDANDAPPELINC t1_iy7zyby wrote

Y'know what the best dick move in Monopoly is? Are you prepared to read the big black evil book bound in human flesh? The rules say you don't replace houses with pennies or Lifesavers or some shit when they run out - when they're gone, they're gone. So never build hotels and nobody else can build anything. Check and mate.

My nickname in my Monopoly club (yes, I know) was "Slumlord." I would give some sucker my entire bankroll for Baltic and Mediterranean and then bleed them like Jack the Ripper.


plemur t1_iy6s045 wrote

Well, we really need to know what happened in the gameplay -- this could be 100% justified.


HellsMalice t1_iy74ejd wrote

Not the onion? Sir this is the most reasonable headline i've read all day. It nearly happened the last 3 times I played monopoly with my girlfriend and it had absolutely nothing to do with me gloating about my big comeback. She was just mad.


eburton555 t1_iy714lq wrote

I’m not saying he’s right but… I get it


BlooperHero t1_iy7hgnu wrote

That's normal for Monopoly.


Divallo t1_iy7c4f8 wrote

Go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200


IrocDewclaw t1_iy7cbvl wrote

Lol I was in Tulsa at some pizza place my kid took us to Saturday night. Was my S(on)IL's bday.

Good thing I left for home Sunday Morning. It's a nice plac....whom I kidding.

It's a place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.


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covidlaxative t1_iy69ehq wrote

First, Stallone invades, now this. These are the end of days. Lol


GOLDANDAPPELINC t1_iy6loun wrote

I will go to the mat defending Monopoly. It's a great board game. People ruin it by employing house rules passed down through generations that they don't realize are house rules.


Cat-Lover20 t1_iy6xcnl wrote

Man, these house rules are getting crazy!


sharpie_eyebrows t1_iy6xtrp wrote

Good thing they never played Mario Party then.


Howard_Cosine t1_iy6yxhi wrote

So where are all the the right-wing-Christo-fascist-gun-nut comments?? Isn't this reddit??


No-Noise-4689 t1_iy6zlfv wrote

I’m not gonna judge too hard. A relative and I are still not on speaking terms after we got into a physical fight over spade last Christmas. Those games get violent especially when alcohol is involved


[deleted] t1_iy71gi1 wrote



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sottedlayabout t1_iy71ufl wrote

I think monopoly needs an update with civil unrest and chopi boyz.


SpectralMagic t1_iy732x4 wrote

I'm guessing somebody was able to buy 3 Hotels


vassility t1_iy7380k wrote

I reckon, he didn't collect $200 and went straight to jail.


JokersRWildStudios t1_iy7a3pk wrote

This is why we seize the means of production and install communism.


ThiccGingerRat t1_iy7ab7y wrote

His get out of jail for free card can’t help him now


Last-Of-My-Kind t1_iy7cwwe wrote

Monopoly is a game that turns everyone violent.


Even_Bath6360 t1_iy7ed3i wrote

Without even reading the article, I'm not saying he's justified. All I'm saying, is I understand


jay22022 t1_iy7huhw wrote

Even fake money changes people.


Shot-Spray5935 t1_iy7mzbr wrote

Don't you ever take any land from Americans. Americans always take land from you.


Joelsax47 t1_iy7n002 wrote

I can see this happening.


Medit8or t1_iy7p23l wrote

It’s always about Toto


SweRakii t1_iy7rfeu wrote

My ex would literally threaten to break up because I wouldn't sell her the orher expensive street.


Thirdtwin t1_iy7s20t wrote

Hope he has saved a jail free card.


TBTabby t1_iy7supm wrote

"I don't know how those Parker Brothers sleep at night."


ElWendigo t1_iy7uo62 wrote

Never appropriate to act like that. Is this even real? God help us...


Genjinaro t1_iy840lp wrote

What was said prior:

"Damn son, you must love my Hotel on Boardwalk. Cough it up"


AZScienceTeacher t1_iy85m0d wrote

My big brother always wanted to be the banker. I finally realized he was embezzling from the bank and would always win. I was around 10 and he 15. My two sisters, both older often played too.

So one day, I decided to just go into the box and lift some cash, hide it in my room, and dominate the next time we played. Unfortunately, my stupid ass took almost all the 500s and I was quickly found out.

My brother tattled to my mom who said I wasn't allowed to play that game. She didn't say I wasn't allowed to watch my brother like a fucking hawk. As soon as he started cheating (he hid money under his leg and would pull a bill or two out at a time), I found my mom and told her what was going on. She came in, verified that he was, in fact cheating, and grounded his ass for a week.

Yeah, I got beat up later. The funny thing is he capped out at around 5'8", and I made it to 6 feet and was in much better shape than his slovenly ass. So then the tables were turned and he got his comeuppance several times. We haven't really talked since he became a huge fan of that guy that was elected in 2016.


Nigredo78 t1_iy87f84 wrote

motherfucker really didn't wanna pay rent on park place...


BrillantPebbles t1_iy8bw2e wrote

Well, the only upside was that the shooters dad was completely safe.


Cogi_Policy t1_iy8enpv wrote

Hope hes got a jail break card with him now


Maik09 t1_iy8f2g9 wrote

could be worse, it could have been mario kart


curkri t1_iy8fzp0 wrote

We've all been there!


Spoogen_1 t1_iy8iuon wrote

I will never understand why people feel the need to carry a loaded firearm while playing board games with their family.


SweatyTax4669 t1_iy8l82z wrote

The only way to escape the capitalist hellscape is through violent upheaval of the socioeconomic systems we have become trapped in.


bateees t1_iy8u3z6 wrote

i learned decades ago not to play board games with family. it gives them the opportunity to vent how they truly feel about you through those games without actually saying it. if you have a toxic family this can be life altering if you don't understand what they're doing.


crownjewel82 t1_iy93c5i wrote

See this is why I don't play Monopoly anymore. People want to be making up rules in the middle of the game and then getting angry and taking things way too seriously.


Pathetian t1_iy9b1zm wrote

Why did mods remove this when I posted it, but leave this one up?


Nimelennar t1_iy9bvjb wrote

Monopoly. Not even once.


BillyQz t1_iy9hijt wrote

Drug Dealer turf wars! You can't have Park Place! Where is my 9MM


Toadman005 t1_iy9is3y wrote

Hope he brought his "Get Out of Jail Free" card.


alvinofdiaspar t1_iy9kl32 wrote

Guess he landed on Boardwalk with 4 hotels.


andybmcc t1_iy9rfx5 wrote

Dude looks like Juicy.


spartaman64 t1_iy9v2e1 wrote

one game the first 3 squares ive landed on were the railroad squares and i bought all of them. if he was playing with me he would have murdered me


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unripenedboyparts t1_iyej2i0 wrote

He looks defeated and guilty as fuck. Like he farted.


pakederm2002 t1_iy64rjb wrote

Been there no arrests tho ! Monopoly is evil 👿!


Wrong_Hombre t1_iy6ww6w wrote

WHat kind of sick fucks aren't playing Catan instead of Monopoly at this point?


Xendeus12 t1_iy679cm wrote

I thought they would say that they were playing Sorry or Ono.