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morenewsat11 OP t1_iymlocr wrote

A job not for the faint of heart.

>“The ideal candidate is highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty,determined to look at all solutions from various angles, including improving operational efficiency, data collection, technology innovation, trash management, and wholesale slaughter,” reads that ad.


>“Cunning, voracious, and prolific, New York City’s rats are legendary for their survival skills, but they don’t run this city – we do,” claimed the posting.


ztreHdrahciR t1_iymnj2e wrote

Pilot program in Baltimore first, to be sure it works


Zeric79 t1_iympbte wrote

How do the people of New York feel about snakes in the streets as compared to rats?


Rubbytumpkins t1_iympsfi wrote

I get that its a joke but snakes don't control rat populations very well because snakes only hunt when hungry, and don't become hungry very often. Even cats will get bored and befriend the rats after awhile. Jack Russell terriers are the way.


AsslessBaboon t1_iymtj7s wrote

>Hate rats? Are you a “somewhat bloodthirsty” New Yorker with excellent communication skills and “a general aura of bad assery”? Then you might have what it takes to be the city’s new rat tsar. > >The official job title is “director of rodent mitigation,” although it was promptly dubbed the rat tsar. Salary range is $120,000 to $170,000.

This job listing had me chuckling on the floor despite having very severe musophobia. No amount of money can make me do this job, so am bloody jealous of everyone who lacks a phobia of rats and mice.


AsslessBaboon t1_iymvcv7 wrote

All I know is that I could certainly use £140k quid right about now. Cant someone like live in NJ or would the commute be too crazy?

Genuinely asking as I've never been to NYC


CitizenCobalt t1_iyn3hzr wrote

This sounds like a job for weasels. 'Somewhat bloodthirsty' is right up their alley.

Of course, then New York would have the weasels to deal with, but cross that bridge when you come to it, I guess.


Cidyl-Xech t1_iyn468g wrote

anyone else having a stroke reading this headline


thatweirdguyted t1_iynamkl wrote

But at night, I travel down into the subway, Wearing chain mail, locked and loaded for gun play. And battle the gigantic friggin killer mutant rats. And if I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that? I'll give you a hint, the answer is no one! That's why I'm in the sewer dressed up like a shogun.

"I Run NY" by Lonely Island ( )


a_phantom_limb t1_iynd9b3 wrote

Is there any amount of money that would allow New York to control the rat population? They've spent millions, but would even billions be enough?


Alchemist_92 t1_iynhrhw wrote

I see this going one of two ways-

  1. They get a Dale Gribble type, hellbent on the extermination of the rat population via chemicals, hammers, and pratfalls

  2. They release thousands of owls into the city, eliminating the rats, but infesting NY with hyper aggressive owls who have to compete with stray cats for food resources, potentially leading to owls murdering cats in the city.

Either way, cartoons have really come a long way.


Kiosade t1_iynv04t wrote

I live on the opposite side of the country, but I’m pretty sure New Yorkers just like to pretend to hate NJ for some reason. Like a rivalry. I think there are plenty of perfectly good parts of NJ to live in. It’s not Mississippi!


ScottieRobots t1_iynvsay wrote

New Jersey is a funny place. It's not very large, and a significant portion of the northern part of the state is essentially a suburb of New York City, while a significant portion of the southern part is a suburb of Philadelphia (with all the good and bad that comes along with that).

But it's fundamentally beautiful and varied temperate coastal land. Because of how things are, though, you can drive from a warm sandy beach to a mountaintop surrounded by productive farmland in an hour and a half, while stopping in a handful of crime ridden ghettos AND a few of the richest counties in the country along your way.


rinseanddelete t1_iynye2h wrote

Someone get "The Mink Man" Joseph Carter on the line.


briank3387 t1_iyo3voj wrote

I played keyboards for Rat Supremo in the 80s


peensteen t1_iyob970 wrote

NY just needs to ask Victor Falco to do them a solid.


CitizenCobalt t1_iyocc8b wrote

I was thinking Owls and Hawks at first, but weasels would probably have an easier time navigating the tight spaces in New York. But if they're willing to let the birds build their nests for once, I'm all for hawks and owls.


DanYHKim t1_iyocyvd wrote

They will get a lot more applicants if they were to include something that says that it would be a class 3 misdemeanor to laugh at your cape.


Faye_dunwoody t1_iyoexcp wrote

They should use owls to get rid of the rats.


AndromedaJayne t1_iyokoed wrote

Eventually, they will release owls to deal with the rodents, and then the owls will become a problem


MrNateG t1_iypsebw wrote

Someone call Fet!


bageloid t1_iyqxgvf wrote

Ok, you want to:

  • shut down the subway system

  • turn it into a garbage system

  • causing the biggest transit crisis the world has ever seen, probably killing NYC

  • Make people carry garbage upwards of 30 minutes to a drop off point(hours during maintenance windows, busses would have been an option pre traffic apocalypse)

  • Spend 10s of billions to automate the subway

  • Spend 10s of billions on automated cars that can accept/deposit trash

  • Spend 10s of billions to put barriers on each subway platform to stop inevitable track fires

  • Which will transit the garbage to... places nowhere near transfer stations


Kamata22 t1_iytgztg wrote

>shut down the subway system

You do realize train tracks have switches right? A single broken down train is just something you go around. Adding a few trains isn't something that would normally be a problem. This could actually be a wonderful funding solution to fix NYC's awful subway system.