I’m holding out for the most meta story of stupid criminals; “FBI uses DNA evidence to determine who stole their Sequencer after repurchasing it for the second time. Someone working in law enforcement who has botched a lot of cases suspected. Evidence was here a second ago adds director Bob Malfoy.”

EDIT: What little twit is downvoting this rock solid meta humor comment? Shakespeare could never have gotten his start on r/writingprompts with this crowd.