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GetlostMaps t1_j00nplx wrote

Stop resisting!

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RaffiaWorkBase t1_j00xc8y wrote

"No, really. Stop resisting... please? Oh fuck! Where's my tank? Shit..."

7

bilateralrope t1_j01vn0x wrote

I've found your tank. I think I'll keep it.

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But I would like to return the ammo. Could you give me your location so I can arrange the delivery ?

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small_trunks t1_j08b2tt wrote

Express delivery...

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bilateralrope t1_j0a56dg wrote

Unfortunately, to get that speed requires splitting the package across multiple deliveries.

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porkforpigs t1_j01shno wrote

The country we invaded is fighting back :’(

7

ShadowDragon8685 t1_j0bkqa2 wrote

So, yeah. At this point, Ukraine's demands should be:

  1. Russia withdraws from all of Ukraine, including Luhansk, Donbas, and Crimea.

  2. Russia publicly and irrevocably repudiates any and all claims they may have to any and all territory outside of Russia, including but not limited to Ukranian territory; all claims, whatever their origin, be it historical, ethnic, linguistic, or imaginary, all claims, past, present, or future. They must repudiate these claims across all media, both without and within Russia. The list of claims repudiated should be exhaustive, but not exclusive.

And the moment Russia repudiates said claims and is no longer in Ukraine, Ukraine is in NATO. No approval process that Russia could jack-fuck by launching another sneak attack. Just "in, immediately." Any further attacks will trigger Article 5.

They should probably forget about any reparations or getting their hands on any war criminals. The only way they could press those claims would be when the blue and yellow flag flies over Moscow, and nukes will fly before that happens, even if NATO did just basically throw the floodgates open wide and turn all of Ukraine into an arms depot. While that sucks, sometimes you have to settle for the victory you can get, not the one you want; also, Putin, at least, is a dead man either way, as a dictator can't come back from getting his cock knocked in like this in a fight he started. (Or, indeed, one he didn't.) Someone will off him in a year or two at the most.

Also, they can quietly continue their forensic investigations. Sooner or later, some of the crims they want will travel, and then they can have them grabbed and dragged to the Hague.

3

Miserable-Chemical96 t1_j029h55 wrote

Not sure this reaches the level of being Oniony.

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Face it no one is surprised that Russia is lying about anything ?

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Oniony means so absurd it's unbelievable. This level of lying from Russia is 100% believable.

2

standardtrickyness1 t1_j05v1dy wrote

Alright! Hey, wait a minute! This is your home planet? We're the evil, invading aliens?

1

Pokemaniac_23 t1_j0613rf wrote

Imagine that, the country you invaded is fighting back. Will wonders never cease? 🙄

1