Submitted by Zhukov-74 t3_zl3yuf in nottheonion
Comments
SaintBrutus t1_j038gst wrote
And me without a straw. Typical.
Cacti-make-bad-dildo t1_j039yka wrote
Dude i live close by to that city, it blows. People are all strung out, it's all work work work! Gets up yer nose.
Gordon_Explosion t1_j03a8jq wrote
That's it, I'm fuckkin going.
beaverbait t1_j03b86q wrote
> it blows
Sure seems like it!
SnowProkt22 t1_j03cwkc wrote
What else is there to do in Rotterdam? I need a cover story for my upcoming vacation.
Slartibartfasts_dog t1_j03e1ri wrote
All jokes aside, there's a great pinball museum where you can play all the machines
HopFarminScientist t1_j03eemz wrote
imagine actually drowning in cocaine...
Sputnik9999 t1_j03ex9p wrote
I'm available to assist with cleaning up this massive cocaine problem. DM me.
portuga1 t1_j03foz1 wrote
…while high on coke
P0L1Z1STENS0HN t1_j03g1u4 wrote
Just a few weeks ago, it was Antwerp, now Rotterdam. What's the issue? Did customs get so much better at finding the stuff, or is it because EU's land border to Russia has lost so much truck traffic that they have to move more through the remaining routes?
Slartibartfasts_dog t1_j03g4lw wrote
Get those insane high scores
mypantsareonmyhead t1_j03ky4e wrote
Step 1. The ship gets put into acetone and dissolves into pure cocaine.
Step 2. ????
Step 3. Profit
045675327 t1_j03lglw wrote
Pretty sure its just a massive port.
Somnambulist815 t1_j03u6qz wrote
oh no! where? which port is it, so I can avoid it? which one?
TheGreatWhiteMo t1_j03ue6h wrote
You know what I used to eat for breakfast?
Cocaine
You know what I used to eat for lunch?
Cocaine
zippyboy t1_j042her wrote
And for dinner? Cocaine, glass of Champagne and a cigarette.
2ndtryagain t1_j042pc9 wrote
Another downside of Brexit? Have the dealers decided to move out of London?
my_solution_is_me t1_j0461hk wrote
All those limp dicks in Rotterdam right now. Maybe we will see a dip in the birthrate.
Pfarpfignuten t1_j0475i1 wrote
I mean, if anything, it's suffocating
roadhammer2 t1_j048bjw wrote
And me without my pool noodle
mano_lito t1_j049wd4 wrote
nothing, at all. nothing.
Banana42 t1_j04hjsc wrote
The Netherlands has some of Europes largest ports to begin with, trade goods aren't really inspected between countries once they get into the European market, and the Dutch are traditionally laissez-faire free traders who don't care much about what gets shipped as long as it goes through their ports
memus_dankus t1_j04moqp wrote
Rotterdam has pretty great nightlife.
Oh wait
Exile688 t1_j04nst0 wrote
UK isn't checking a lot of the stuff coming in due to the fact they don't want to pay people to do it. Organized crime is probably avoiding the UK local competition because you don't even have to be organized to get shit past the UK border.
SnowProkt22 t1_j04u17l wrote
I would imagine any place would have a bangin nightlife if it was drowning in cocaine.
Batracho t1_j04ze99 wrote
A real hero here! Thank you for your service!
reddittheguy t1_j04zp8f wrote
Off my face don't know where I am.
'Cause I got my drugs from Rotterdam.
Realistic_Comedian_6 t1_j053ozf wrote
In what way is this onion-y? This just seems like regular news
FigureItOut_____ t1_j053pc6 wrote
Well jeeze fellas we ought to do something to help
mrb1 t1_j05brab wrote
Like a.... 🎶"Pinball wizard's got such a supple wrist."
theProfileGuy t1_j05by7s wrote
theProfileGuy t1_j05c2yf wrote
Its got a zoo and a pancake cruise. Loads of coke.
MonopolyMeal t1_j05iiif wrote
How do you think he does it?
m0le t1_j05lv93 wrote
Astonishingly, no, this one isn't Brexit related. The Netherlands has always been a smuggling hub.
necromundus t1_j05v56w wrote
>drowning in cocaine
helluva way to go
mekatzer t1_j05vc2h wrote
We’re gonna need a bigger nose
RedHotCommy89 t1_j061t7f wrote
Someone call Amsterdam. We need bigger neuzen /jk
jordantask t1_j06bt05 wrote
See that trail of sea life following it?
They’re all high as fuck.
Ignorhymus t1_j06cs5w wrote
Have you got any idea what happens to a shoal of haddock when they're jumped up on three ton of Charlie? https://youtu.be/RsY2zWN6D3Q
jordantask t1_j06d56y wrote
I suspect it’s an aquatic version of Cocaine Bear:
ijmacd t1_j06e61m wrote
That's hilarious. Thanks
JustWill_HD t1_j06gcck wrote
Unlike underpants, step 2 of cocaine business has been defined for a while now
[deleted] t1_j06i1d2 wrote
[removed]
allintowin1515 t1_j06z7zt wrote
I mean red light district there is pretty dope I hear makes sense they need plenty of yak
allintowin1515 t1_j06zgx2 wrote
It’s always made me wonder how dude porn stars can “perform” all ye d out …
SponConSerdTent t1_j07957b wrote
Stop you're making me rock hard.
Veraciraptor7 t1_j079rn1 wrote
So it's basically just a big port? And everyone there is high as a Giraffe's nuts on coke? Sounds realistic.
carpediem6792 t1_j07his7 wrote
Soon, coke will get so cheap... dealers will start cutting their fentanyl with it.
total_alk t1_j07oasl wrote
Cocaine makes your dick go limp? Genuinely asking.
ianwrecked802 t1_j07q6r7 wrote
Viagra, my man.
mano_lito t1_j085wzv wrote
my_solution_is_me t1_j08z2nj wrote
Oh yeah. It can get it up to a rageing boner with the correct small dose but not too many people can manage that. Too much cocaine = limp dick. The irony of it is not lost since it seems to make people horney too.
DuelaDent52 t1_j0ef5b9 wrote
Yeesh, why is cocaine running so rampant recently?
WetPowerLine t1_j117klt wrote
I don't know
Warped_Avenger t1_j035qr1 wrote
That ship? All cocaine.