Submitted by atmoscience t3_103n147 in nottheonion
Comments
Jeraimee t1_j3007xr wrote
Thanks, I really didn't want to open another tab ...
niobiumnnul t1_j303q0n wrote
And her family is a buncha mad f-ing liars.
PerNewton t1_j30pniy wrote
I heard George Santos just hired her as a consultant.
Unique_Anywhere5735 t1_j32ljae wrote
No, she's been working for him for a while. Who do you think wrote his campaign bio.
Mindbender444 t1_j2zzyd1 wrote
She got better.
checkyoshelf t1_j303i2u wrote
r/unexpectedmontypython
GabeTheJerk t1_j34ma03 wrote
It's always like the spanish inquisition
GetlostMaps t1_j30dkc0 wrote
Rumours of her death were greatly exaggerated.
kingkrauss t1_j33rho8 wrote
Remember Reach
Rosebunse t1_j30i0xn wrote
Why would you do this? I get it that she needed to take a break and get help, OK, but then just, well, go away and get help. Hire someone to manage to accounts or ma age them yourself.
My God, all of these people are insane for thinking this was OK.
Deiwos t1_j30pf48 wrote
For money, people bought her book out of sympathy.
hydrogenbound t1_j33pw8w wrote
And donated to her funeral. I can’t wait for the fraud charges. I’ve lost people I really loved to suicide and this was painful for a lot of us.
Devi1_May_Cry t1_j33nzhd wrote
So I read the excerpt for Love to Last a Lifetime on Amazon.com. Here's the first paragraph:
>From the moment I laid eyes on Greta, I knew she was meant to be loved by me for a lifetime. She'd been talking to my best friend's girlfriend and her smile drew me in like a moth to a flame. Who would have ever guessed our story would be one for the ages?
That is, without a doubt, the single worst opening paragraph I've read in a long time. There are so many issues with it, I don't know where to begin.
jwm3 t1_j3fi5t3 wrote
May I introduce you to the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest? It is a contest to write the worst opening paragraph of what would be an awful novel. https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
It was named after the penner of this famously bad opening paragraph.
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
YoungToySoldier t1_j361ex3 wrote
I rolled my eyes no less than 5 times reading that single paragraph. I think they would fall out if I tried the book.
Individual_Poet2978 t1_j31j5qo wrote
Aren't mysterious disappearances and faked deaths a little cliché for writers? No? Don't fix what ain't broken? Got it.
YoungToySoldier t1_j361bmy wrote
Agatha Christie called and wants her stunt back
demon9675 t1_j31p85a wrote
Wouldn’t be surprised if someone sues over this, especially if she made money off of the fraud. Is faking one’s own death to make money, especially from donations to a supposed funeral, illegal?
ddr1ver t1_j2zzito wrote
Did she collect the insurance money?
mrszoomby t1_j30ecjc wrote
There was fund-raising for her funeral, so she certainly received something
WaytoomanyUIDs t1_j310aka wrote
20 thousand dollars apparently.
Deiwos t1_j30pdbn wrote
People bought her book to support her family.
DeaDGoDXIV t1_j30a5r1 wrote
I thought insurance didn't pay out for suicides? Maybe that's just a popular plot device and has little basis in reality that I just accepted as truth.... but I'm drunk on Reddit so I won't bother researching...
That_Guy_Brody t1_j30cal4 wrote
It does so long as you don't buy it intending to suicide, policies will often exclude suicide for 1-2 years as well.
DeaDGoDXIV t1_j30ezkn wrote
That sounds believable, thanks
YouCanCallMeVanZant t1_j333763 wrote
Many states have statutes that actually prohibit denying life insurance benefits if it’s been a certain amount of time after the policy was purchased. Usually a year or two.
[deleted] t1_j3v4r2s wrote
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Resentful_in_Dayton t1_j33ehas wrote
I don’t think she faked her death irl, just on fb.
Majestic-Prune-3971 t1_j32u1vr wrote
She has the same accountant as Hotblack Desiato.
GatoradeNipples t1_j34gk04 wrote
This is a niche joke, but I appreciated it.
Majestic-Prune-3971 t1_j34iemt wrote
Ooooo. That's a nice way to put it. I shall be telling my wife that the jokes she rolls her eyes at are "niche". Thank you!
AardvarkWorship t1_j32wrhm wrote
She's dead to me now
timojenbin t1_j33j3ck wrote
Who?
bulgarianlily t1_j3120gw wrote
So did the daughter know she was still alive?
MadeFromNews t1_j3184kz wrote
Finally got the attention she needed after so long.
Ksh1218 t1_j33q6r9 wrote
Agatha Christie called and said “hold my drink”
Substance_number_6 t1_j33q7uq wrote
Jesus did it better.
Jump_Like_A_Willys t1_j33337f wrote
Did she not leave her house? Did her neighbors or acquaintances never see her.
PlotinusTheWise t1_j34rhyq wrote
Somehow... Meachen has returned
[deleted] t1_j3kyvtd wrote
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OddTry2427 t1_j300jtv wrote
Uuuh huh.
lupuscapabilis t1_j33al3w wrote
This article just makes the whole situation more confusing and opens up a thousand questions. I give it a D.
AlexRenquist t1_j2zz0ul wrote
The 'We explain' seems to boil down to "she's a mad fucking liar".