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joopface t1_j5q6492 wrote

Imagine people watching Tucker Carlson complain about the M&M cartoons and agreeing with him.

Picture them, these feeble brained dipshits, nodding in vigorous agreement about how the cartoon M&Ms are being destroyed. Sitting on their couch, solemnly taking seriously the threat to their way of life posed by anthropomorphic M&Ms, angered by something that they’d never even thought about before they’d been told to get angry about it. Centring their emotions on this topic. Feeling that this is an Important Thing to Care About.

If you feel anything but disdain and pity for these people I’d like to know why.


koavf OP t1_j5q6fq6 wrote

> Imagine people watching Tucker Carlson complain about the M&M cartoons and agreeing with him. > >

So you're trying to tell me that you get just as horny at the M&M's as you did previously?


joopface t1_j5q6q51 wrote

Ha ha ha! There has been no change - confirmed


TiredHappyDad t1_j5q9njk wrote

That would be ridiculous. There is no way those old oldies could stand up to the new girls now that purple is on the scene.


Orcabandana t1_j5qeaj0 wrote

> Carlson declared that "M&M's will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous," and that when "you're totally turned off, we've achieved equity."

Who looks at M&M cartoons to be turned on? How are these people real?


Forgotmyaccount1979 t1_j5qe81q wrote

I got to listen, yesterday, to a coworker describe in very unfamiliar terms that they were upset about a "noodle company" changing their product/a flavor of their product to no longer be named Oriental.


He did not buy the product, he did not use it (he didn't even know exactly what company, had just "heard about it"), yet somehow this was something to be angry about.


I remain confused how that changes the world for him.


Deyln t1_j5rrol2 wrote

What's it called now?


Forgotmyaccount1979 t1_j5ru2rq wrote

He didn't know...

Again, driving my wonder at why it mattered, or if it was even real, potentially just people "telling tales" online to insight anger.


elboyo t1_j5tn01v wrote

It's Maruchan ramen. They changed "oriental" flavor to "soy sauce".


WastefulPursuit t1_j5qgdzz wrote

I’m so tired of this candy shaming, they didn’t even release the trans mnm yet


CaptainJackVernaise t1_j5s4kcw wrote

I don't feel much of anything for them. They jumped the shark a long time ago, and I am much happier just not reacting emotionally to any of them anymore. It is so much easier to just cut them off and invest my time in relationships that aren't toxic. Wife, kid, friends...I prefer to invest in people that share my values and aren't completely morally vapid.


doowgad1 t1_j5px5jq wrote

The common wisdom on Reddit is that this is a build up for a Super Bowl advertisement.


koavf OP t1_j5px8oq wrote

I'd bet my left (pea)nut (M&M) on it.


thelastevergreen t1_j5px3l7 wrote

😆 They're just trolling that tool Tucker at this point.


koavf OP t1_j5px6jc wrote

Exactly. It's all just viral marketing for the inevitable Superb Owl ad.


Cutecumber_Roll t1_j5pyyuc wrote

Seems more like they are conceding to his demands. I don't like that they are giving his commentary any consideration at all.


DJWGibson t1_j5q2cl5 wrote

I don't like that they're giving him attention (even if not actually calling him out by name) but they're doing so in a way that just makes him look absurd and turns him into a punchline, while also turning any inevitable backlash or retort into free advertising.

By leaning into this, they also know the absurdity of the move will also be commented on my late night TV hosts, which just results in more free advertising.


[deleted] t1_j5q3cul wrote



Mds_02 t1_j5sot8m wrote

I’d have put the heels back on her, then announced she was trans. Imagine Tucker’s face when he realized he’d been jerking it to trans-candy this entire time.


SpinningHead t1_j5qlkvg wrote

Even NPR was calling out Tucker's weird sexual angle with M&Ms yesterday.


TheRealGlamdamnit t1_j5qm5lc wrote

Where are all the people who should be asking this man why he wants to fuck children's candy?


Acceptable-Crew6144 t1_j5qoasv wrote

Can you imagine if Tucker Carlson was outraged by childhood malnutrition?


Bonezone420 t1_j5rejxx wrote

He was; in that it wasn't happening enough. The entire fox news crew was very outspoken about school lunches back when those were the hot button issue and their take was, as you could expect, that kids shouldn't eat lunch unless they could pay for it.


JenMacAllister t1_j5q4bvf wrote

Tucker Carlson can fuck up anything....


Combat_Medic t1_j5tmt2k wrote

They should have kept Danny Devito as the Red one, give us some real fan service.


Right-Fisherman-1234 t1_j5q5wdb wrote

"Pay attention to this and ignore the billionaires that are bleeding the country dry!" Deflection and distraction. "Look, squirrel!" SMH.


Seeksp t1_j5qdhlk wrote

Boots to shoes is an outrage! They should have at least put Green in spike heels and nylons. How dare they threaten by my ability to sexualize candy. Get the torches and pitchforks. We've got to stop these Mars perverts. /s


WastefulPursuit t1_j5qg2sp wrote

So I can yank it to thousands of hours of incest porn but not candy? Welcome to America land of the free home of the brave…


Utterlybored t1_j5qyn74 wrote

As a liberal, I feel so utterly defeated.


dukeimre t1_j5si124 wrote

In case you acrually are a bit discouraged by this, it's worth noting that this is surely a massive troll on the part of the M&Ms brand, leading up to a Superbowl ad (rather than some kind of attempt to cave to Carlson's ridiculous anti-M&M campaign).


Utterlybored t1_j5vmagk wrote

I had hoped my sarcasm was inherent in my comment. Sorry. No, I think it’s hilarious how snowflakey the bad guys are about candy.


BlkSheepKnt t1_j5tlzxq wrote

Somewhere there's a deviantART artist who's about to make a hefty sum for all the pornographic photos of the green m&m that will now come flooding in because of creepy reactionaries we're going to want to jerk off to it to own the libs.


Kermitoxic t1_j5spkkl wrote

So, anyways, how'd that child slavery lawsuit go?


TheCynicalCanuckk t1_j5ti6f0 wrote

Wait what? Crazy tucker is involved? I was hearing about mm lately but was busy. Oh man I gotta look up this new unhinged rant that people eat up lol. It shocks me how people fall for his mccarthyism bs


ubercl0ud t1_j5z2uvx wrote

The real test is next xmas. If they finally retire the “he does exist, they do exist” commercial. Its been going strong for over 30+ years


nooshaw t1_j5zvevh wrote

M&M just gave Tucker a lot of power.


koavf OP t1_j5zxhd6 wrote

True, but no bad press and all.