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NoMidnight5366 t1_j5g2ehe wrote

So is farting on someone considered assault? If so I have a 9 year old who is going to be doing some serious time.

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Praxidik3 t1_j5gjecz wrote

I'm going to have to get my wife to sign a liability waiver or else I might be in the slammer

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Dirty_Quesadilla t1_j5fwu45 wrote

This is some Monty Python Holy Grail shit right herrr… “as he farted in their general direction.”

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[deleted] t1_j5j7bp6 wrote

Before the physical assault, he assaulted me verbally and stated “my mother was a hampster and my father smelled of elderberry” 😭😭😭

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menlindorn t1_j5f11xu wrote

But you said we needed additional vespene gas...

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DeeplyTroubledSmurf t1_j5gs6t9 wrote

Excuse me, you require more vespene gas. You must also construct additional pylons.

Breathe deep, it's just some food for thought. If there was one thing I learned during Operation cwal it was that you'll never get something for nothing.

Also, "show me the money" cause I couldn't work that one in to a sentence.

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Horseman_ t1_j5epgqz wrote

Farting in public in U.K requires license

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GetlostMaps t1_j5gmq1k wrote

The US requires hairdressers to be licenced. The UK says ... They just cut your hair - why the fuck they need a licence. The US actually has far more licence requirements than the UK.

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DickweedMcGee t1_j5g6a3m wrote

So in the Coprophelia world, the perp is what you would call a Windy City Tradesman and the cop would have been a Chicago Breezeater. People pay good money to pull that arrangement together. Its beautiful, actually.

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spoke2 t1_j5hx02a wrote

Tell me about the Cleveland Steamer.

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[deleted] t1_j5j7ijs wrote

It’s like a Sandusky Steamroller, only a little less messy.

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Acceptable_Wall4085 t1_j5gle51 wrote

Screw the community work. Make them give a jail sentence. Appeal it and drag it out. the publicity of it won’t go away. But with enough ridicule the charges will be rescinded.

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paulmarchant t1_j5gpf3b wrote

The article is poorly and vaguely written, like so much of our newspaper output here.

It doesn't say that he got the 75 hours 'for' farting at a policeman - and I'd struggle to say what specific offense it would be, and - in order to be sentenced for the farting it would need to be an articulable, specific crime.

But he crashed a car - which isn't an offense in and of itself - and then blazed a joint in front of the police, which of course is.

If I were ascribing more intelligence to him than perhaps he deserves, I could contrive that he was driving stoned (which is considered a serious offense, particularly in light of the crash), and he concluded that by smoking in front of the police, he could claim that he was not stoned whilst driving, but that he became so afterwards. There's nothing to gain from the police doing a post-accident drug test under those circumstances as it won't fly in court for a drug-driving charge.

More likely though, he was just a belligerent bell-end and got what was coming.

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johnsnowforpresident t1_j5l205z wrote

It just says he was ordered by the cop, not a judge. Not sure that has any actual teeth but I don't know UK law.

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paulmarchant t1_j5la5jj wrote

'Sheriff', in this particular context would be functionally the same as 'judge'. It's a bit strange how words here sometimes work when involving the legal system.

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trainbrain27 t1_j5gc9g6 wrote

Maybe it was the smoking a joint while causing a car crash that got him in trouble and his attitude and actions didn't help.

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bookcreative t1_j5g7r8r wrote

If this catches on then I’m in serious trouble.

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frygdxhmnb688 t1_j5gogv8 wrote

My old classmate wiped poop all over himself before a swat raid. It didn’t work, he still got arrested

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Norg_Grimm t1_j693vdw wrote

He should've flat out pooped his pants.

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Killawife t1_j5h9hwj wrote

This is what comes to mind for me when the term "Uk man" is mentioned in an article.

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