i love how the tone of this reads like an unironic r/kidsarefuckingstupid moment. i just can't help but imagine seeing this info get delivered onto this poor little girl left in tears, i shouldn't be laughing.

this story treats it like it's a cute little aw kids moment but in reality this poor girl is questioning everything 😭 like, this logically has to be her last step. she would be thinking "ok, this would prove it!" but if she knows it would, she would may have already considered "but how can i be the only one to have tried this? if there's such debate about him being real...wouldnt they have already tried..?"

this isn't someone writing with hope of proof. this poor girl is writing for closure. she's about to bust into dad's room going "WHAT ELSE DAD, HUH? THE TOOTH FAIRY? JESUS? MICHAEL JACKSON? ARE YOU EVEN MY REAL DAD!?!"

"of course i am! honey it's just sant-"

"I GOT THE RESULTS BACK DAD. I SENT IN MINE TO COMPARE TO SEE IF IT WAS YOU OR SANTA, BUT YOUR DNA DIDNT MATCH MINE DAD!"

she wont get gifts from santa anymore, but she will get two christmas' from now on! 😭

edit 21 hours later : the police accepted the request for the DNA test. grab the popcorn. for the film rights, i want 10% of the film's profit on top of 50k upfront. the world needs this story, streaming services. have your people call my people.