Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

ymgve t1_j5hrmb5 wrote

"We didn't get any matches so it seems like Santa is a man with no criminal record. And it seems like Santa uses humans instead of reindeer for his sled."

35

Thalaas t1_j5i0vtz wrote

No criminal record? Santa Claus, AkA Kris Kringle, AKA Father Christmas, AKA Saint Nick, AKA Pere Noel has over 200 BILLION accounts of break and entering with millions more charges for minor thefts (Usually baked good in the homes he invades). He's so dangerous that NORAD dedicates significant time to track his every movement.

27

Ymirsson t1_j5jsldm wrote

He's so dangerous, he gave Lobo a hard fight.

3

Jman50k t1_j5ib7w3 wrote

It took me a minute to process whether the title was wholesome or horrific.

9

caulimelon t1_j5hxhrl wrote

At that point the parents should probably just tell her the truth.

8

twitch_delta_blues t1_j5i6uye wrote

Miss, I don’t know how to tell you this…YOUR FATHER IS SANTA CLAUS!

8

Pessimist2020 OP t1_j5ho8cs wrote

>The young girl asked the police to run a DNA test on a partially eaten cookie and carrot remains presumably consumed by Santa Claus and some of his nine reindeer on Christmas Eve. "This young lady obviously has a keen sense for truth and the investigative process and did a tremendous job packaging her evidence for submission," Cumberland's police chief, Matthew J. Benson, said in the release. The Cumberland Police Department responded to the young girl with "some already uncovered evidence in support of Santa Claus' presence in her neighborhood" on Christmas Eve, a photo of what appeared to be a deer with antlers.

7