Why when I'm making a cool ROI? I like it here. My sheer existence (never mind presence) irks the likes of you. I was born and raised, son. I'm not leaving!!!

My mom's house in Brooklyn (which she and my dad bought for $25,000 in '49) snookered 7 figures, too, so my share of the inheritance will fund a renovation on the kitchen, a new sidewalk, and some landscaping on the garden. My fig and crapapple trees provide nice (but now too much) shade, so I have to move the vegetable plot (kale, collards, tomatoes, potatoes) into standing planters. It'll be sweet. And guess what? You're not invited!