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Comments
AmazinTim t1_j9145zj wrote
New Yorkers are brilliant when it comes to giving directions, they’ll fall over themselves to tell you how to get places. The cynic in me knows it’s because they’re so proud that they know where to go and want to demonstrate that to others as a casual flex.
JelliedHam t1_j91c950 wrote
I've heard a comment that new Yorkers are kind but not always nice. People from other cities are nice but not always kind.
I think if you throw out the outliers. Overly nice and total assholes you end up with an average of: if you respect our pace, space, and expectations of general etiquette in NYC, we are pleasant and enthusiastic about helping others in need. The best way to flow in the city and get help when you need it is to be chill and get out of the way when needed. If it's clear you're not completely oblivious to others or a total douche, we got you.
StevenAssantisFoot t1_j91hci7 wrote
This is too accurate. If someone asks me for directions and we are going a similar way I will of course give them directions but also stay visibly nearby just in case they need more help and so they know I am sort of with them (I am a small woman and definitely not a presence anyone would perceive as menacing). I don't try and chat or make friends but I do feel a protective instinct to watch over this stranger and not allow them to feel alone and lost, or miss their stop. Kind, but not nice. Never thought of my behavior this way but it's true.
DopeWriter t1_j91kyjh wrote
Ditto
eekamuse t1_j91l532 wrote
I do the same thing. It's great to hear how it feels for the other person. At least for OP
BartletForPrez t1_j9174gl wrote
Real New Yorkers all have this superpower of knowing exactly which direction they're going when the exit the subway. Doesn't matter which station. Doesn't matter whether they've ever been on that block or to that station. They just walk out of the station and are like "It's this way." "How the heck do you know, is that North? Where's the sun?" "It's this way." As a former suburban kid I will never not be amazed at how they do it!
3DPrintedCloneOfMyse t1_j919fk0 wrote
The trick is to orient yourself to the subway you just got off of. Were you on a northbound train? Great, the direction the train left in is north.
Darrackodrama t1_j91dtl3 wrote
Sometimes when you are in a new station and you talk 3 turns and a stairwell to get to street level you forget which way the train was running.
It helps to know if you are standing near an avenue and if there is a subway grate below. That is giveaway for me of north south vs East west and the rest is context
snazztasticmatt t1_j91gfq9 wrote
I've said for years that I'm going to print out a bunch of cardinal direction stickers and throw them up on the stairs out of subway stations. Even when I orrient myself against the departing train, it would be so much easier to know that the staircase leads east or west or whatever
57dimensions t1_j92a9c2 wrote
Yeah transferring between the L and the F at 14th st always throws me off because of the stair turns, I'm not sure why that station in particular gets me because there aren't even that many staircases, but I always have to triple check I'm getting on the right L train.
photo-smart t1_j92npiv wrote
> It helps to know if you are standing near an avenue and if there is a subway grate below. That is giveaway for me of north south vs East west and the rest is context
I feel silly for asking, but how exactly are you orienting yourself based on the avenue and subway grates?
Darrackodrama t1_j93niow wrote
For example if there is a subway grate below you and you’re on an avenue you know that train (usually the one you just got off of is running below you depends on the station though)
Then you can look down the block and see if the street number decreases or increases and get a sense of north south if you’re on an avenue !
iv2892 t1_j91bcuz wrote
Literally this lol
eekamuse t1_j91ljtv wrote
Yeah but try to remember then as you go up the stairs. "North north north, turning east now south south south, west, back to north. Walking,walking more stairs now we we're heading north again, wait,did I make a turn while I was walking? Fuuuck"
3DPrintedCloneOfMyse t1_j91n95n wrote
That is my exact thought process in an unfamiliar station, yes
whatshamilton t1_j91zkfo wrote
I orient myself to the road traffic. Even streets go east. Wanna go west on 22nd? Walk against traffic.
ahkian t1_j91ydpg wrote
Also most subway exits tell you which direction you’re exiting in
whatshamilton t1_j91zg0w wrote
They tell you which side of the street the exit is on. Not which direction you’ll be facing. You can come up the N exit but be facing S if the stairs are aimed in that direction. You need to know I’m the N exit, that’s the S exit across the street, so if I want to go East I need to turn left.
Omphalos- t1_j917trw wrote
The subway exits have cardinal directions on the signs above, for example NE and SE exits at 42nd st.
thekatzpajamas92 t1_j918fsx wrote
Shhhhhhh don’t tell them
leg_day t1_j91ckdj wrote
> "It's this way."
And when you get it wrong, no, you meant to take the southeast corner stairs despite having to now cross two very busy stoplights because uhhhh shut up and cross!
[deleted] t1_j91hxfg wrote
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CleverCarrot999 t1_j914yo5 wrote
Why is this so true lmao
Very_Bad_Janet t1_j91r401 wrote
I don't know if it's pride. If I have no idea what to tell someone I'll say I don't know. But I think we do want to be helpful - being in this city does make one feel like we're all in it together. I might not know where to send you but if you seem reasonably ok I might pull out my Google Maps app and check the MTA app, too, for you.
ETA: I know Parisiennes also get a bad rap. But one time I was lost in Paris and some sweet gentleman listened to my really bad French, literally took me by the arm, and took me to the place I was looking for. And he wasn't the only one who went out of his way to help me. I think if you are respectful, people in big cities will help you out.
kipsterdude t1_j91ee2u wrote
I think it may also be (at least in my case) because we've all been there. We've all gotten on the wrong train, or headed the wrong direction, and we can see the confusion on someone's face when they're not sure what to do. It's not a fun feeling.
shydumplinggg t1_j92uf8h wrote
thats so true hahah we just wanna show off that we know the city
ViennettaLurker t1_j90wupn wrote
It really is true. And seeing people helping others with directions on the subway was actually the first moment I had this thought. The stereotype really isn't true for the most part. There was an older person on the train asking for help with the stops and like 3 or 4 people did not hesitate to help immediately with amazing advice and conversation. Such a sweet moment.
New Yorkers are totally nicer than you think, particularly love helping with directions like on a train, and then will be like "WALK LEFT STAND RIGHT" on the escalator out the station.
Awkward-Painter-2024 t1_j90xkx1 wrote
I've walked people around blocks, taken trains, taken an extra bus stop to help people. But drive or park in the bike lane and I'll flip you off?! 🤣
"I'm walking here!!"
iv2892 t1_j91bho1 wrote
And they are quick to offer a seat to a woman or elderly person when the carts are crowded . I know me and many other people do it
swingadmin t1_j91cazs wrote
I've been burdened with laptops, tools, hardware, etc., and if I see a pregnant woman I am just astounded that there are other people who don't immediately get up and offer their seat.
But then again most riders have their heads buried in electronics, books or are completely zoned. That far-off look where you're aware of everything that's happening but wouldn't notice your mom if she stood in front of you.
eldersveld t1_j92vr54 wrote
Absolutely! There was an elderly lady at W 4th who was confused about how to get to the Social Security office downtown, and I had time, so I took her aside on the mezzanine and made sure she understood how to get to Fulton St and then to the office from there. She was so happy and grateful and that's all I needed.
But when someone else stopped at the top of the stairs a little while later, in front of me, you better believe I was an asshole
Dan-D-Lyon t1_j91iui8 wrote
The moment a New Yorker realizes you aren't asking for money we become the warmest people. We only seem standoffish because the last 1032 strangers who attempted to talk to us were trying to make us feel bad for not opening our wallet to them
eldersveld t1_j92w321 wrote
It's partly relief, I think, it's like holy shit a stranger that isn't trying to scam me in some way, glad to make your (brief) acquaintance lol
ummaycoc t1_j912j4b wrote
Importantly don’t take up an entire busy sidewalk. If it’s super wide you and one person can be next to one another. Under scaffolding? Single file. Has food trucks or trees etc restricting space? Single file.
I’ve had people get super offended when I’m all the way over to the right and I stop and let them walk into me. Like you can just get behind your friend for thirty feet and pick up the convo then.
brook1yn t1_j916n4r wrote
we love giving better directions than other new yorkers
annaqua t1_j91g59d wrote
When someone asks for directions, the deep discussions between New Yorkers on trains about which route will take you there faster/better/more efficiently... truly amazing.
StevenAssantisFoot t1_j91icvu wrote
Especially when there are special considerations like carrying something heavy and cumbersome and all of a sudden single platform transfers or escalators become a factor. I live for that shit.
brook1yn t1_j9256yz wrote
Some older couple was walking towards us on the ft hamilton bridge (over prospect expy) last weekend and asked us if we knew how to get to deep brooklyn. These are the kinds of challenges I feel like new yorkers live for. First we had to get their bearings. Then we had to pick apart what exactly they meant and then flooded them with a few 'this is the fastest ways to get there options'. Truly a gratifying moment.
Souperplex t1_j91cwgm wrote
As my southern friend says: It's the difference between nice and polite.
New Yorkers are happy to help you, but also will tell you off for fucking up. Southerners are performatively polite but will not help a stranger in need.
eekamuse t1_j91m3lq wrote
I always hear that about people outside of NY but I find it hard to believe.
People aren't going to walk past if you slip on the ice, or drop your groceries. I won't believe it until I see it.
Souperplex t1_j91u6wg wrote
My southern friend (Texas) is the source of this claim. I haven't spent enough time down there to verify.
eekamuse t1_j91w5sd wrote
I've hear it many times on here. I still find it hard to believe. But it could be true
[deleted] t1_j91kxts wrote
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LongIsland1995 t1_j91dgc4 wrote
The "rude" stereotype mainly applies to mentally ill people, gangbangers, and maybe businessmen. Generally, most people are friendly.
I help people out with directions all the time and I love doing so.
ImJackieNoff t1_j91rvvp wrote
> mentally ill people, gangbangers, and maybe businessmen
And sometimes mentally ill gangster businessmen are rolled into one orange colored person. And he's not nice. He called me a "nobody" when I just said hi.
silentslade t1_j91f3oz wrote
Kind. Not nice
Icallforksfoodrakes t1_j91hvz6 wrote
I just moved here and was so happily surprised as a new englander that people are nicer here than at home.
TetraCubane t1_j91mzjd wrote
Yeah. I hate it when groups of people, especially teenagers take up the whole sidewalk while walking.
Didn’t they ever learn that single file is the proper way?
Rakonas t1_j91su6f wrote
Or stand on the passing lane of the escalator
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[deleted] t1_j92zvn4 wrote
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cmc t1_j910faq wrote
This wasn’t me but I honestly do this all the time in my moms memory. She used to visit me often and would sometimes get lost in the subway system and there was always a kind New Yorker willing to lend a hand. Once a dude got off the stop with her and carried her bags up the steps. Another time she ended up in queens accidentally (I asked her how and she said “I like to live dangerously”) and she found someone to drive her to my aunts salon in Bushwick. Sorry to derail the thread but this thread brought up those treasured memories!
superthotty t1_j919ofz wrote
She got in a car with a stranger?
cmc t1_j919rpk wrote
She sure did and I FLIPPED OUT at the time. She just found someone from our country (not hard, we’re Dominican) and they offered. She didn’t die! I mean she did but cancer got her not a New York stranger.
iv2892 t1_j91bnw8 wrote
Still sad that she died, but that was wholesome
superthotty t1_j91n96m wrote
Thankfully she was okay that night lol but goodness a risky move
cmc t1_j91ruhs wrote
It was like 11 am. But still! Weirdos come out in the daytime too!
clickstops t1_j92xrcu wrote
I love your attitude towards all of this, especially the humor towards your mom’s passing. Thank you for sharing.
scrapcats t1_j91tfnb wrote
Your mom sounds wonderful. So sorry for your loss!
buttpincher t1_j91zgjl wrote
When I didn't understand the subway system many new yorkers helped me out countless times. I was so nervous to ask for help the first time but most people were actually enthusiastic to help! Once I got familiar with the system myself I returned the favor to many people. With the advances in Google maps tho and our underground cell network deployment it's become easier to navigate.
MarcelineDQueen t1_j92c5p9 wrote
And in my experience, if they ask someone that doesn’t know it well, there’s always others near by that will overhear the conversation and help out as well. Lol.
doingthedo t1_j92m8km wrote
I once paid for an elderly ladies bus ride because all she had on her was a $20 bill. All I could think was that my mom would definitely that person asking a bus driver to give her change
alex_quine t1_j92qo7w wrote
As someone once said--New Yorkers may not be nice, but they are very kind.
niceholmes t1_j90vgmh wrote
This post brought to you by Samsung.
JulesOnFire t1_j91s9jw wrote
Honestly I don’t know why r/hailcorporate is a dead sub cause the spon con is still going strong on Reddit
umpalumpaklovn t1_j91tv1e wrote
Because shilling is so pervasive you can’t follow it anymore
HanzJWermhat t1_j91urww wrote
It’s all r/HailCorporate
The101stAirborne t1_j92l6tt wrote
Headshot.
eldersveld t1_j915ulj wrote
I was on the uptown 6th Ave platform at W 4th, on my way to Rockefeller. A young Russian couple approached me and asked if the trains on this platform would take them to Herald Square, pointing to that station on their map. Yes, I said, any train on this platform would get you there.
Some sixth sense I had was tingling, so I made to sure to get on the same car as them when the D pulled in. Sure enough, when we hit 34th and the doors opened, they just sat there. I whipped my head around and pointed at them: "This is you." "This is Herald Square?" "Yes! Get off!" They hurried off and then gave me a thumbs-up through the window, and I laughed for a bit.
Going the extra mile if it seems like the poor bastard just isn't going to get where they want without a little more help... well, it's just fun!
MajorWhereas4842 t1_j916tv6 wrote
I live upstate now but I’m a born and bred native NYC’er (south Bronx) and some of my best memories of living in the city was helping strangers/tourists navigate it. One memory that sticks out was back in the day I was walking near west 4th and this guy was trying to figure out how to get to the blue note. I told him he was literally steps from it. I walked him around the corner from the bball court and showed him. He was super thankful and I went about my business to meet friends across the street at fat black Pussycat. He ended up coming there about 30 mins later for a pre show drink. He spotted me coming out of the bathroom I didn’t see him at first. I’m chilling at the bar with my friends and he walks up to us and says thank you to me again and tells the bartender to give us a round on him. Well a round turned into 5 he never made the blue note we ended up going to see my friends band at Groove and he hung with us all night. We ended up at the diner after the last set turns out he was a music producer from Amsterdam he paid for everything the entire night it was a group of 15 of us.. and he was so nice and happy that he had a real “New York experience”……
CactusBoyScout t1_j91ls8d wrote
I used to work on Foley Square and it was super common for tourists to get out on the wrong side of the Brooklyn Bridge station and then be confused why they didn’t see the bridge.
I can’t count how many confused tourists I helped while just walking around to get food on my break. And I loved it honestly.
Sometimes they’d ask for food recommendations nearby and I was always happy to let them know that Chinatown is just around the corner.
It’s fun helping people experience the city.
Very_Bad_Janet t1_j91s6f2 wrote
Aww, that's so nice. Did you stay in touch? He would've been nice to visit in Amsterdam.
JulesOnFire t1_j91sb8b wrote
This is so wholesome
halermine t1_j923gif wrote
For him, it was probably still a cheaper night than going to the Blue Note 🤔
MajorWhereas4842 t1_j9269li wrote
Hahaha maybe! I can’t remember who was there that night but I’ve definitely seen some greats in that space! It’s one of the best intimate venues for live music
SupremeCourtRealness t1_j911jaa wrote
I always tell people New Yorkers are open and friendly with directions on the subway because we love showing off how well we know the subway. Give me my chance to shine, tourists!!
lazerphace t1_j919daf wrote
if someone asks me for directions i just shrug and go back to urinating
Robert__O t1_j91490q wrote
I get off on 74th and Roosevelt and at lease twice a week I walk people over to the LGA shuttle. Seven out of ten times people offer a tip at 10/10 times they’re incredibly grateful I’m “not a typical New Yorker”. It’s wild some woman thought I was leading her to rob her… while wearing a suit a my work bag…
intjish_mom t1_j91ha9q wrote
Whoever said nyers arent friendly never tried to ask for directions anywhere. If a tourist need directions thats when everyone tries to show off their knowlege of the subway.
DisasterFartiste t1_j91pdtx wrote
Truly! I’m from the south and people always say New Yorkers are mean but I’ve never experienced that. One of the times I visited years ago, it was raining and gross as heck and I walked up and down a block trying to orient myself and a doorman came out of a building and asked me if I needed some directions. I was so thankful!
TheGunshineState t1_j91pdle wrote
To be fair people in suits probably commit more crime than people dressed like the Hamburgler.
coffeeshopslut t1_j91mz0m wrote
I've seen people obviously lost, but when I asked them if they needed help, they got real nervous, like I'm not asking you for money, I just know the train's a mess on the weekend
fuckyouimin t1_j92jl7e wrote
Lol! I've been taking that shuttle for years and years now and just got fucked by it last month. (They really need to take the sign down from Roosevelt Ave, if the Q70 is picking up in the back pullthru now!)
BenHogan1971 t1_j91j1df wrote
that's really cool, and important that you posted.
it's good to remind us that positive things do happen frequently in our big city - it's not all just murder and crime.
I posted a similar story months ago, and the reactions were mostly all positive, but as always, there were the "boo bird" negative types that felt I posted for glory or upvotes or whatever.
be prepared for those types to comment, but I applaud you!
skyeyemx OP t1_j91l3jj wrote
Definitely. I don't often take the subway aside for my usual pretty safe route and all I hear about it is that it's full of crazies. Experiences like this give me hope in humanity
killerasp t1_j91u2va wrote
i saw some tourists (family of like 10) on the 2 train and they kept looking at each stop and talking to themselves as if they were trying to figure where to go. eventually i took off my headphones and was like.."ummm, do you guys need help with directions". turns out they were wanting to uptown to times square and they were going in the wrong direction. luckily, the next stop was atlantic ave and they could switch trains there without paying again. they were worried that they had to get out and pay again to back in the correct direction.
RedditSkippy t1_j9186hr wrote
If I give people directions on the subway and we’re in the same car, I always make sure they know how many more stops they have, and how they know when their stop is coming up. Especially if I can see they’re from out of town. The MTA can be overwhelming.
[deleted] t1_j91y1rz wrote
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JanaT2 t1_j91641x wrote
Awww very nice :)
swingadmin t1_j91dcxn wrote
I am scrolling through reading all the stories. They are heartwarming and real. I love my city, every borough, neighborhood and street! Not all the highways though. (looking at you BQE in Brooklyn Heights, you still annoy me)
Magali_Lunel t1_j912i0o wrote
This was a really nice thing to read during an otherwise crap morning, so thank you
hesalop t1_j91c0cd wrote
Grand opening of Samsung 837? Afaik they’ve been around for a while
Octopus69 t1_j923az2 wrote
I got 2 things from this.
-
New Yorkers will always help if asked nicely
-
Holy shit Samsung 837 is open again? Fuck yeah
super_common_name t1_j92sfrn wrote
I've been to NYC twice. New Yorkers are unbelievably kind to tourists. I've honestly never met people so friendly and helpful.
ShawnDawn t1_j92duzs wrote
that's the thing about NYC I'll help you but just don't try to sell me shit or get crazy cause roundhouse you.
billndotnet t1_j92m9e4 wrote
New Yorkers get a bad rep as rude or unjustifiably intense. Most people don't realize that a city that dense works in a certain way, and if you don't take a moment to understand and learn that, you're getting in people's way and they'll simply adjust you so they can get on with their day. I fucking love New Yorkers, it's one of my favorite cities to visit.
grandzu t1_j92nnjd wrote
Here, you ask for help, you can usually get help.
Necessary_Low939 t1_j92z0lk wrote
I did that for an old guy just yesterday lol
yukpurtsun t1_j936otq wrote
this is a very new york experience. We're not nice but we're kind. I've done the same thing when approached for directions. Once we're on the train too I'll wave em down to let them know its their stop.
drpvn t1_j937k97 wrote
New Yorkers love giving directions.
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Icallforksfoodrakes t1_j91iifk wrote
She sounds great and honestly everyone I’ve dealt with in the city has been equally welcoming. One thing that has made my life really easy is the City Mapper ap. It tells you what train you need, where to find it (as well as it can, it’ll be like “uptown is downstairs”) and it’ll even tell you which part of the train is best for you.
johnsciarrino t1_j91jknt wrote
I actually got invited to that Samsung store launch earlier this week. I didn’t go because last time Samsung invited me somewhere, they gave me a flip phone to walk around the tour and then took it away afterwards. Was the store worthwhile, OP?
skyeyemx OP t1_j91kw59 wrote
It was pretty neat. I had to get a screen protector replaced on my phone so I spent like an hour walking around playing with the devices and drawing among us characters on all the tablets. I'm very mature.
[deleted] t1_j91mljv wrote
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[deleted] t1_j91uq6y wrote
Oh boy another circlejerk moment of “New Yorkers are awesome”. Tomorrow I’ll see “NEW YORKERS ARE RUTHLESS”. I HATE THE INTERNET FUCK FUCK
Dancinlance t1_j92i8ge wrote
then get off it
[deleted] t1_j92icyr wrote
After smoking a bowl of weed, I am now relaxed. Let us be in peace my brother ✌️
CHEKPEDS t1_j92b9ag wrote
Happens to me all the time. People in public transportation are the nicest .
Sinnamonster t1_j92f6f0 wrote
Try the Citymapper map. Just in case you're ever in a situation where no one can help you. It tells you where the nearest train station is, when the trains are coming, where to stand on the platform, what stops are in between, which exit to get off, how to walk to your destination after getting out, and what to do during delays.
Sacred_Charge t1_j92n1cc wrote
feels like a samsung ad tbh
Luke90210 t1_j92wu7m wrote
Back when I had an unlimited Metrocard, I would sometimes swipe tourists in. They had a card, but didn't know how to swipe correctly and not too fast/slow.
FYI, the cards allowed a swipe about every 20 minutes.
beefJeRKy-LB t1_j930ojy wrote
Grand Opening? I remember it being open a while back. Maybe they closed and reopened?
altaccount269 t1_j95tw3l wrote
Why was this removed?
throws_rocks_at_cars t1_j91d3pz wrote
Some of you on this sub are in desperate need of a diary.
damnatio_memoriae t1_j92etc0 wrote
lol /r/redditisfacebook
IIAOPSW t1_j91k424 wrote
Bro, I'm going to blow your mind right now. Ready. Look at the map and read the names out in alphabetical order. What do you find?
(123456) - The Bronx
(ABCD) - Also the Bronx (or close)
(EFG(H?)) - Queens Blvd (note the G no longer goes past Court Sq).
I is skipped because it looks like 1.
(J(K?)LM) - Bushwick and Williamsburg straight to Broadway Junction (skipping Downtown BK). Runs parallel to EFGH but further South.
O is skipped because it looks like 0.
(N(P?)QR) - Coney Island (usually) to around 50th st then (usually) turns off to Queens.
S always denotes a shuttle.
oh and the 7 goes to Flushing and W/Z exist but they break the pattern. W should be P, Z should be K, arguably R should be H and Q should be T. Done. Thats the whole system.
[deleted] t1_j91mdfa wrote
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wXy_5GHz t1_j90i9uh wrote
When’s the wedding?
wanderingsong t1_j90ozdz wrote
you probably meant this as a funny comment, but honestly, shit like this drives me up a wall. I've felt like I had to get less friendly over time because people love to interpret it as an opening. NYC RBF is armour against dudes following you for a block trying to ask you more about yourself.
are people incapable of being friendly to others without wanting to get into their pants or some other transaction? why the compulsion to read romantic intent into everything?
if kindness were less conditional, maybe we'd be able to express it more freely.
tiptoemicrobe t1_j914su2 wrote
>why the compulsion to read romantic intent into everything?
Sadly, a lot of people are lonely, and your being nice to them can seem unique and important as a result.
quaid31 t1_j90x8gy wrote
You act like this is a common occurrence. Don’t let the few shitty people you have encountered alter your expressions.
denardosbae t1_j910uky wrote
It is absolutely a common occurrence for young women.
smoonyc t1_j912fqz wrote
This is normal for women.
QuarterlyGentleman t1_j91ay0s wrote
Guy here, and even I know this is an extraordinarily normal occurrence for women. You could fill two Reddits with the social stuff men don’t realize women go through on a daily basis.
quaid31 t1_j92rtav wrote
I’ve never seen a woman get followed by guys on the street unless they are homeless or mental disorders in which we all get followed
smoonyc t1_j92xcxw wrote
Such a misogynistic male response: “If it didn’t happen to me or I didn’t see it happen then it must not be true!” 🖕🏻
Magali_Lunel t1_j912n11 wrote
It's happened to me 3 times in the past month, and I'm not even young anymore
quaid31 t1_j92ojw6 wrote
3 times in a month people followed you for a block to get more info? Doubt
Magali_Lunel t1_j95fjup wrote
Have you ever actually met a woman or do you just read about them on Reddit?
lo_and_be t1_j913qub wrote
Of course your flair is Murray Hill
[deleted] t1_j91sy7g wrote
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volkommm t1_j9110hu wrote
Boohoo people find you attractive and want to get to know you better. What a horrible predicament.
Uiluj t1_j917edw wrote
I've had an guys ask me if I was in high school and where I go to school. If I tell them I'm an adult, they would keep insisting I look really young, where do I live, and where I was going.
It is a horrible predicament. Its never someone who's nice and friendly, its always some creepy aggressive pedophile. If it was a social setting like a bar, I might want to have a conversation if men knew how to handle rejection. But on the bus, please don't follow me home.
iv2892 t1_j91coog wrote
Just out of curiosity do you feel is there an improvement in the education and social code to make sure more men realize this ? I think is okay to try to socialize with a woman I just met but si Also understand that if she doesn’t seem to do much of a conversation I just say bye and move along since I don’t want to make anybody feel uncomfortable because I hate it when it happens to me.
Uiluj t1_j91hcgr wrote
I think it's the reality of living in a city with millions of people. Even if only a tiny fraction of that population are creepy misogynists, that loud and sexually aggressive minority will be overrepresented in public spaces.
I think it depends on the community, job sector, etc. I think the younger generation are more likely to be compassionate with the lived experience of women in nyc. But there's still a non-negligible amount of machismo and objectification going on.
I have no dating advice on how to navigate romance while be cognizant of the patriarchy. Just be friendly and nice, and people can usually read your intentions if you have no ulterior motive. If you're looking for a longterm romantic relationship, Just be yourself and honest. You save yourself from a lot of trouble and heartbreak.
iv2892 t1_j91lngo wrote
For sure , maybe because even as a guy I remember I would get pressured from other guys telling to make moves with any moderately attractive woman I talk to or I’m friends with. In their mind you can’t possibly be just friends with women . I absolutely hate that type of machismo and even men can be victims of that .
What’s more frustrating about “macho guys” like this is they would screech and get violent if other guys do the same thing to their gf’s, mothers , sisters , etc. but yet they think it’s okay for they themselves to harass other women.
anonu t1_j90xft2 wrote
Post this on Craigslist missed connections
TizonaBlu t1_j90jgae wrote
New Yorkers are honestly nicer than the stereotype suggests. Just don’t walk on the sidewalk in parallel and you’ll be fine.