violent_cat_nap t1_iw7jx5r wrote on November 13, 2022 at 3:56 PM

I’ve lived in both. Lived in DC until recently, and then moved to NYC. They’re completely different

DC is clean and mostly beautiful but can be very sterile culturally. The consultant/hill vibes lead to sorta a weird non artsy culture. There’s not a lot of income or job diversity other than the very stark divide between people with money and people who are poor. The metro is bad, it’s been getting better slowly but not great. The city also hasn’t bounced back from the pandemic. A lot of bars and clubs closed and never came back (also getting better but slowly). It’s also an expensive city. That said, it’s gorgeous and one of the few cities you can survive without a car. It’s also cheaper than NYC.

For me personally it’s no question that NYC is better (if you’re young and single). There’s also a lot of parts of NYC that feel identical to DC but with better access to everything (think parts of Brooklyn). That said, the experience of getting to nyc is brutal. Finding an apartment is a massive pain in the ass. It’s very expensive unless you get lucky or live far out. Winters here also suck

BangaiiWatchman t1_iw7lqlg wrote on November 13, 2022 at 4:09 PM

Interesting take. Here’s where I agree and disagree:

I disagree that Metro is bad. I think Metro is probably the best public transit system in the country from what I’ve seen (although never used NYCs). It’s very clean and maybe sometimes you have to wait longer than I’d like too but that’s not terribly annoying. Why do you think it’s bad?

I agree that DC can feel very sterile and commercialized, which is odd for one of the most historic cities in the country. There’s no cute boutique shops or underground type bars that a local can show you. There’s no neighborhood like Astoria with a rich cultural diaspora and authentic food. Everything is like brand new and feels very manufactured, and there’s a place for that too in every city but NYC seems to have a better balance.

I disagree that it hasn’t bounced back from covid. Idk when you left but I lived here pre-covid and since the summer it feels totally normal again.

I do agree that I think if you’re young and single (which I am) New York is probably better. Just by the sheer number of people I think that has to be true. That’s a big part of why I’m interested in moving honestly.

I disagree that winter is probably worse but that’s a personal preference. It never really gets cold here in dc so you walk around in a jacket and pants here in February and then start sweating. Like if it’s gonna be winter I’d rather it be actually cold out I guess.

violent_cat_nap t1_iw7w6ra wrote on November 13, 2022 at 5:20 PM

I find that DC's metro is really a commuter rail in disguise. It's great for what it is, but as an intercity mode of transport it's bad, too spread out and too slow (especially coupled with the 10 mile staircases to get in and out). On the flip side DC is small and bikeable, the bikeshares make it pretty easy to get anywhere. Often times it was easier (and faster) to just bike places.

As for the bounce back, I left late summer. Summer DID feel normal, but a lot the bars and clubs that used to exist have shut down. People just feel more introverted? This is completely biased (I left after all) and my personal experience, but U street might as well no longer exist, 14th street is kinda quiet at night. Admo is back but there's only 2 good bars there. There's just not many places to go out and dance anymore or it's the same list of like 5 places every time?

For me it just starts begging the question of why pay inflated DC prices than live in either an actual small city (for example Richmond) or pay a lil more and be in NYC. At the end of the day though, if you have friends and a community and actually engage with a city you'll probably be happy in most places. I wasn't happy, I left and I feel much better. I think sometimes you just have to pull trigger and take risks or just be content with your existing decision and not look back

BangaiiWatchman t1_iw7zqve wrote on November 13, 2022 at 5:44 PM

“a commuter rail in disguise” is an interesting way to put it. I’d have to agree I guess.

Yeah I mean that’s my conundrum right now. I’m pretty happy here in DC but I only have like 2-3 friends that I hang out with. But as you mentioned they’ll probably be gone in a year or two. In New York I wouldn’t even have that, but at least there’s more people and it’s closer to my family.

For me personally there’s also more room here to grow in my career than in New York.

Idk I’ve never heard anyone say “I tried livining in New York and I just HATED it”. Everyone who goes there becomes adamant that “it’s the greatest city on earth!” so I can’t imagine I wouldn’t like it.

It’s a difficult decision. Did you have more friends/community in NYC and that’s why you left DC?

violent_cat_nap t1_iw80qie wrote on November 13, 2022 at 5:51 PM

I grew up in the NYC metro area, so like you'd be I'm now closer to my family again. I also got lucky in that a lot of people I knew in DC moved to NYC + I have some friends here from high school and college so the transition has been easy. What sorta ended up happening is though is that I was ready to leave DC, which sorta meant I stopped putting as much time and care into making new friends in DC (or dating) which made me want to leave more.

Honestly the worst thing you can do is sit and overthink it. If you are already on the mindset that you're gonna leave, just do it. You gotta go 100% in on one side or the other otherwise you'll sorta just be unhappy (at least in my experience)

BangaiiWatchman t1_iw81z5a wrote on November 13, 2022 at 5:59 PM

I agree. I’m 26 right now and I’d be around 27 by the time I could move to NYC. I never really saw DC as permanent, but NYC I could.

I wish I would’ve done it in reverse though and spent my 20s in the New York and my 30s in DC. I feel like DC naturally fits you more as you age and get more tired of the urban density.

What do you think is easier about dating in New York? The dating scene here kinda sucks imo.

violent_cat_nap t1_iw8d38o wrote on November 13, 2022 at 7:10 PM

I kinda wish I did the same, but at the end of the day there's no going back in time.

I find dating in general is kind of terrible anywhere you go, NYC is nice because for every bad date there's a million other people who might be a better fit (but it also means people are constantly running away after 1 light orange flag). I also noticed in DC I met a lot of people who were very smart and intelligent but a bit too plugged into national politics. Idk, it's just different vibes. I find people in NYC dating wise to be a little bit more well rounded but it's all totally subjective.

Also keep in mind that visiting NYC is not the same as living in it, and NYC is not lower Manhattan. There are many parts of NYC that are dead quiet and less dense than DC. There's really a spot for everyone. Having a quiet corner in a busy spot is also just a really fun and unique feeling