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raylan_givens6 t1_iw7fxft wrote

wherever you live, you should have a plan or reason why you're there beyond "it's a big party"

otherwise you may end up miserable after the initial wave of excitrment fades

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squall571 t1_iw7gq8i wrote

NYC is not like what you see in the movies, if you want an easy/relaxed lifestyle NYC isn’t for you.

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violent_cat_nap t1_iw7jx5r wrote

I’ve lived in both. Lived in DC until recently, and then moved to NYC. They’re completely different

DC is clean and mostly beautiful but can be very sterile culturally. The consultant/hill vibes lead to sorta a weird non artsy culture. There’s not a lot of income or job diversity other than the very stark divide between people with money and people who are poor. The metro is bad, it’s been getting better slowly but not great. The city also hasn’t bounced back from the pandemic. A lot of bars and clubs closed and never came back (also getting better but slowly). It’s also an expensive city. That said, it’s gorgeous and one of the few cities you can survive without a car. It’s also cheaper than NYC.

For me personally it’s no question that NYC is better (if you’re young and single). There’s also a lot of parts of NYC that feel identical to DC but with better access to everything (think parts of Brooklyn). That said, the experience of getting to nyc is brutal. Finding an apartment is a massive pain in the ass. It’s very expensive unless you get lucky or live far out. Winters here also suck

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BangaiiWatchman t1_iw7lqlg wrote

Interesting take. Here’s where I agree and disagree:

I disagree that Metro is bad. I think Metro is probably the best public transit system in the country from what I’ve seen (although never used NYCs). It’s very clean and maybe sometimes you have to wait longer than I’d like too but that’s not terribly annoying. Why do you think it’s bad?

I agree that DC can feel very sterile and commercialized, which is odd for one of the most historic cities in the country. There’s no cute boutique shops or underground type bars that a local can show you. There’s no neighborhood like Astoria with a rich cultural diaspora and authentic food. Everything is like brand new and feels very manufactured, and there’s a place for that too in every city but NYC seems to have a better balance.

I disagree that it hasn’t bounced back from covid. Idk when you left but I lived here pre-covid and since the summer it feels totally normal again.

I do agree that I think if you’re young and single (which I am) New York is probably better. Just by the sheer number of people I think that has to be true. That’s a big part of why I’m interested in moving honestly.

I disagree that winter is probably worse but that’s a personal preference. It never really gets cold here in dc so you walk around in a jacket and pants here in February and then start sweating. Like if it’s gonna be winter I’d rather it be actually cold out I guess.

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violent_cat_nap t1_iw7w6ra wrote

I find that DC's metro is really a commuter rail in disguise. It's great for what it is, but as an intercity mode of transport it's bad, too spread out and too slow (especially coupled with the 10 mile staircases to get in and out). On the flip side DC is small and bikeable, the bikeshares make it pretty easy to get anywhere. Often times it was easier (and faster) to just bike places.

As for the bounce back, I left late summer. Summer DID feel normal, but a lot the bars and clubs that used to exist have shut down. People just feel more introverted? This is completely biased (I left after all) and my personal experience, but U street might as well no longer exist, 14th street is kinda quiet at night. Admo is back but there's only 2 good bars there. There's just not many places to go out and dance anymore or it's the same list of like 5 places every time?

For me it just starts begging the question of why pay inflated DC prices than live in either an actual small city (for example Richmond) or pay a lil more and be in NYC. At the end of the day though, if you have friends and a community and actually engage with a city you'll probably be happy in most places. I wasn't happy, I left and I feel much better. I think sometimes you just have to pull trigger and take risks or just be content with your existing decision and not look back

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BangaiiWatchman t1_iw7zqve wrote

“a commuter rail in disguise” is an interesting way to put it. I’d have to agree I guess.

Yeah I mean that’s my conundrum right now. I’m pretty happy here in DC but I only have like 2-3 friends that I hang out with. But as you mentioned they’ll probably be gone in a year or two. In New York I wouldn’t even have that, but at least there’s more people and it’s closer to my family.

For me personally there’s also more room here to grow in my career than in New York.

Idk I’ve never heard anyone say “I tried livining in New York and I just HATED it”. Everyone who goes there becomes adamant that “it’s the greatest city on earth!” so I can’t imagine I wouldn’t like it.

It’s a difficult decision. Did you have more friends/community in NYC and that’s why you left DC?

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violent_cat_nap t1_iw80qie wrote

I grew up in the NYC metro area, so like you'd be I'm now closer to my family again. I also got lucky in that a lot of people I knew in DC moved to NYC + I have some friends here from high school and college so the transition has been easy. What sorta ended up happening is though is that I was ready to leave DC, which sorta meant I stopped putting as much time and care into making new friends in DC (or dating) which made me want to leave more.

Honestly the worst thing you can do is sit and overthink it. If you are already on the mindset that you're gonna leave, just do it. You gotta go 100% in on one side or the other otherwise you'll sorta just be unhappy (at least in my experience)

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BangaiiWatchman t1_iw81z5a wrote

I agree. I’m 26 right now and I’d be around 27 by the time I could move to NYC. I never really saw DC as permanent, but NYC I could.

I wish I would’ve done it in reverse though and spent my 20s in the New York and my 30s in DC. I feel like DC naturally fits you more as you age and get more tired of the urban density.

What do you think is easier about dating in New York? The dating scene here kinda sucks imo.

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violent_cat_nap t1_iw8d38o wrote

I kinda wish I did the same, but at the end of the day there's no going back in time.

I find dating in general is kind of terrible anywhere you go, NYC is nice because for every bad date there's a million other people who might be a better fit (but it also means people are constantly running away after 1 light orange flag). I also noticed in DC I met a lot of people who were very smart and intelligent but a bit too plugged into national politics. Idk, it's just different vibes. I find people in NYC dating wise to be a little bit more well rounded but it's all totally subjective.

Also keep in mind that visiting NYC is not the same as living in it, and NYC is not lower Manhattan. There are many parts of NYC that are dead quiet and less dense than DC. There's really a spot for everyone. Having a quiet corner in a busy spot is also just a really fun and unique feeling

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BourgeoisieInNYC t1_iw7k4re wrote

I’ve spent some extensive time in DC (my (ex)BF lived there and I was able to WFH a lot so I spent a lot of time there) and have now lived in NYC for 7+ years.

I loved DC! I loved all the historical monuments and museums! The Renwick was one of my favorites! Black Rooster was a favorite spot too before it closed. That said, I absolutely love NYC more — because I feel like people here are/can be more genuine. There is a rough tough-as-nails exterior but people are nice. I didn’t get that vibe in DC. People in DC always seemed to be trying to network more than actually wanting to get to know you. Altogether I spent the majority of 2 years there and never felt like I was welcomed. Maybe being Asian was a factor.

Now that I have a baby, I do wish I had better and bigger sidewalks to push the strollers on and more museums (located in one general area) to take my baby to, but those don’t matter enough for me to want to relocate back to DC.

NYC isn’t just partying lol. It also depends a lot on your financial situation. If you can afford living (well) in DC then you’ll do fine here. But for the same dollars, you’ll be in smaller space here, or have roommates. But NYC is unique in that no matter who you are, you can find your “tribe” here!

Into bird watching?? Yup NYC got that! Making your own paper/ parchment from scratch?!! Yup got that too. LARP? Oh yeah!! Crocheting in the park while people watching and drinking tea with your pinkies out? I’m sure you’ll find others to join you!

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mike_pants t1_iw7isey wrote

I lived in DC for a summer. I don't think I've ever sweated more in my life, and I've gone hiking in Puerto Rican rain forests.

I've lived in NYC for 15 years. It is less a city and more a mashup of diastinct villages. Exploring them is magnificent. And it has free standup and Beetlejuice on Broadway, so.

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eodcheese t1_iw7k571 wrote

Lived in the DMV for 10 years, been in NYC for the last 5, now. They’re different, for sure. I found it easier to make friends in DC, but my friend group turned over nearly completely 3x due to the transient nature of the workforce. NYC is nice b/c I’m at my dream job. The bar and restaurant scene is second to none, too. The MTA is more frequent than WMATA, but WMATA is cleaner. Both have their pros and cons. I’d, personally, be happy in either. Haha. Oh, the DMV is a largely driving community. I haven’t had a car for 3 years here in NYC and very rarely do I miss it.

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actualtext t1_iw7k73m wrote

Try /r/asknyc in case this gets removed

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threenamer t1_iw7l1bi wrote

I’ve lived in both of those cities. And LA. And Phoenix. And Minneapolis. Now I’m in Boston. When you have a job and responsibilities, then every city is practically the same. What qualities of life are the most important to you? Do you value open spaces and a relaxed pace? Do you crave non-stop action and battling for every. single. thing? NY is fun, and exciting, and one-of-a-kind, but it will grind you into dust if you let it.

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nyc-ModTeam t1_iw7l2db wrote

Rule 2 - Questions go in r/AskNYC

(a). Questions go in r/AskNYC, the Monthly Discussion Thread or on r/nyc's Discord. This includes "Does Anybody Else" (DAE)-type questions

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Mistes t1_iw7oei8 wrote

I grew up in DC and eventually moved to NYC. They are very different cities.

DC has some very good communities if you're into bicycling (bike party DC), it has a clean metro that doesn't come as often as NYC's but is generally nice (more $ though if you are going further than 4 stops). The city also has free museums on the national mall if you're a museum fanatic, it's zoo is free, and it's not very large so you can get most places you want to go . It has a bubbling art scene that's kind of tight knit. For the hip places we have union market, Dupont circle (night life), Adams Morgan (night life), and some varying bars and convert venues around U street. However a lot of the venues will have the same crowd so you might not sink into anonymity or have a large variety to choose from for venues.

It's also a little more a commuter's city around the capitol area so it can be really quiet at night. I highly recommend doing a quiet nighttime bike ride around the tidal basin during cherry blossom season if you move there. You might also enjoy the Georgetown waterfront area and the canal.

DC has the dca airport literally right there on the metro and there's construction for direct metro access to Dulles airport. Amtrak from Union Station is also fairly accessible.

For NYC, it's VERY big and has a LOT of people compared to DC. You get the best and worst (!) of people here but you really get everything. Large concerts, a multitude of venues, a ton of choices for amazing food, dozens of neighborhoods that each have a different culture or a unique vibe - infinite nightlife (COVID put a bit of a damper on this but still decently strong). There are some communities like house dance, roller skating events, or a vibrant drag scene or things you just can't find anywhere else with such a force and voracity. However, the mta will be less clean because of the sheer amount of people ( and a few other reasons like operations and maintenance throughout the years/it's oldddd), it will have some absurd delays , but they'll figure out a way to get you there eventually. The subway is also really expansive - so you can go to Ikea (almost) and it can get you pretty close to some airports, but you have to bus the final distance usually.

You have to choose your neighborhood with a lot of thought in NYC - research the heck out of it and visit it twice and walk around. Figure out how long it takes to get into Manhattan (unless you're already in Manhattan lol) and add 10 minutes just in case for waiting for trains and such.

There's really no place quite like NYC - though don't judge it based on the shittiness of times square and port authority (where most buses drop you off at) - explore the different neighborhoods and make a more nuanced decision.

I love NYC and I never considered myself a city person before - it has late night eats and great beats, and no one cares what you wear. There's some absolutely fabulous parks and their ferry system is also super great if you get to live near any of them.

Afterthought - NYC is colder than DC if you find yourself being warmth/cool obsessed. Still gets really cold in both places, but DC is usually around 4 degrees F warmer on average.

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BangaiiWatchman t1_iw7wg0k wrote

Thank you for this thoughtful response.

On the cold thing-and this is just a matter of personal preference- if we’re gonna have 4 seasons I’d rather it be actually cold in the winter rather than DC where I have to take a jacket with my in January but I’ll end up sweating through it if I have to walk around in the sun. So I’m cool with that. bu fun tss

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Mistes t1_iw7y5j5 wrote

To be fair DC does still get pretty cold and it will snow, with once every 5 years we get like 4 feet of snow... Though in NYC it's probably every other year.

I think both cities have some random warm spurts in the middle of winter for no reason. NYC will be a little windier when it's cold but they both definitely get four seasons.

Feel free to ask any questions on either city btw! Love them both, but I know why moved away.

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BangaiiWatchman t1_iw80elh wrote

Yeah it’s actually pretty cold out today, but it never really snows here I think that makes winter pretty ugly.

Is it easy to make friend in New York? Do you think you’d ever move back to DC?

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Mistes t1_iwat2vx wrote

I think it's hard to make friends if you don't have a plan in any city. I recommend trying to join some group activities and seeing if you click with anyone there. Ex. Biking events, skating events, small concerts, art events, conventions, neighborhood, etc...

Most of my friends in NYC were extensions of friends I created elsewhere - so a friend of a friend or more. I think that's probably the easiest way though I was lucky.

Also surprisingly - reddit meetups for my neighborhood or part of the city were effective in me meeting some rad people who are friends till this day.

I probably wouldn't move back to DC, but it's for a variety of reasons you probably don't have. Growing up in the area meant I knew most of the venues and people with my hobbies. They keep things fresh, but I needed a personal change (maybe some parental distance) and NYC had a job that allowed me to try that new city. I think you appreciate a place more once you leave, and DC definitely has some great spaces and a lot to do - but it is different from NYC in many ways. Would it be a city I recommend trying? Always. I just wouldn't move back.

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hangrywich t1_iw7ub9y wrote

We chose NYC as our home base because diversity is a must for our multiracial kids and this city has opportunities and small luxuries that come easy (some may debate me on that). Plus we like to travel, and being a New Yorker, wherever you go feels cheap (meaning our disposable income still is higher than other places).

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