Submitted by Ok-Elderberry-3704 t3_yv7bek in nyc

I’ve been having these episodes more frequently. My heart starts racing, I’m shaking, everything sets me off. I spend the majority of the time crying and wishing I wasn’t around. I talk my self out of s. ideations because I’m the only parent my daughter has.

I’m a single parent. I go to school full time and I work. I’m buckling with all this pressure. I also recently had $500.00 stolen; a family member forged my signature to cash a check that was meant for me.

I’m struggling. If I go to ER, will I be hospitalized? I can’t leave my daughter alone. But I need help.



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SimmerDownRizzo t1_iwct5n2 wrote

When you're feeling these episodes, try to slow your breathing. Look around the room, and start naming what you see and say it out loud. Say what you see in detail like color, like "yellow banana on the kitchen table"

This helps with anxiety attacks that borderline dissociation, it may help you while you're waiting to hear back from the resources you've reached out to.


seejordan3 t1_iwcxi1n wrote

This is so helpful. There's also a great article about panic attacks in the NYT last week.


SimmerDownRizzo t1_iwcyn9k wrote

It has been a lifesaver, I hope OP finds a way to address the underlying issue via talk therapy and find some peace.


seejordan3 t1_iwczacn wrote

.. and not reach for the drugs! The drugs should be the last thing people reach for, but it's more often the first. One in four doctor visits results in a prescription for a benzo. Lemmie know if you want sauce w that.

To be clear, no one should take a benzo more than a couple weeks, couple months TOPS, unless you're terminally ill. They are over prescribed. Our medical industry throws psych drugs at anyone anytime, it's disgusting and will be the next drug crises we deal with (let me know if you want sources, the NYT calls this the next opioid epidemic...)

EDIT: the fact that I'm so downvoted to me equates with people loving their benzos. That's VERY dangerous, you're playing with fire. Read below.


PorchHonky t1_iwdzq6l wrote

Benzos would be a huge help for you while you try and figure out what is causing your panic attacks. At least you would be able to function while you try and find help.


seejordan3 t1_iwecvqz wrote

There's newer better less addictive drugs. over 20% of people on a benzo more than 3 months will go through a prolonged withdraw process that typically is all the symptoms coming back you took it for, multiplied. This can last years. Look up Ashton and Benzos are very very rarely the answer. Great tool for all kinds of things, but we over prescribed it.


robul0n t1_iwhxy18 wrote

But usually with benzos for panic attacks should only be used during the actual panic attack correct? I've got a small prescription for emergencies and just knowing I have them short-circuits most panic attacks before my adrenaline dumps. I take maybe one or two pills a year now.


seejordan3 t1_iwhysd4 wrote

That's great, be careful as you are. And keep an eye on them, they have a street value and are regularly abused and sold, esp. by kids.

I keep opiods around for the very rare kidney stone because that's the worst pain ever.


robul0n t1_iwhzwbv wrote

Agreed. Aware of the abuse, don't have kids, and have chilled out on the recreational drugs myself as I get older.

Most of the people I know who had long term problems with benzos were prescribed them daily with doctors happily signing off on refills.

After reading a bit I can't help but think doctors doing the prescribing are a bit out of touch with the current state of medicine.


seejordan3 t1_iwi0zw4 wrote

Its called informed consent, and most doctors fail to give it before you take a drug. I can't tell you how many people we know that were given a 'scrip for it and not told the risks, only to find it works so great for anxiety, and now TA-DA, they're hooked and its the worst addiction ever. Like, 1000x worse than heroin withdraw. We've been in the ER for seizures too many times. Watching your partner turn blue during a seizure and being able to do nothing is one of the worst things I'll ever experience. Here's some reading on informed consent from the Mayo Clinic..


pandorasfishtank t1_iwf4qzm wrote

Benzos can turn down the heat to the level that people can actually think. You can't use coping skills if your brain isn't working. It sucks when the meds you need to function become trendy for people fuck around with.


seejordan3 t1_iwfhnzk wrote

Your increased chance of dementia/alzheimers (I can't spell) goes up 50% for long term users. Really, you may not want to hear this, but they are not a good long term drug. I'm sorry. These numbers should give anyone pause.

My biggest issue with ALL psych drugs, is dr.'s fail to get informed consent from patients. They don't tell them 1:5 over 2 months get prolonged withdraw. That this drug could lead to death, and commonly does. We lost Robin Williams, Prince, Philip Seymore Hoffman, Kate Spade, and untold others who were dealing with prolonged withdrawl from benzos (yes, and other things, but ask anyone who's done a number of diff. withdraws, and benzos are without a question the worst). They're 'involved' in 30% of deaths from overdose. They really are the next epidemic. You'll understand one day.

And PandorasFishtank, honestly, I hope you find something other than benzos, and do your research. They've cost me many years of my life, and many hundreds of thousands of dollars. I would wish benzos on no one. The "relief" is a prolonging, that is all.


acoustic11 t1_iwe0cuz wrote

Do you think that cancer patients shouldn’t be prescribed drugs? Should asthma patients not reach for the inhaler? Or do you just hold these beliefs about mental health?


seejordan3 t1_iwebxqi wrote

Do you think one in four people that go to the doctor should be prescribed Xanax?


acoustic11 t1_iwel8gu wrote

If they are going to get treatment for a medical condition like anxiety or panic disorder then yes they should not face barriers to medication.

You didn’t answer my question. Do you think fewer cancer patients, asthma patients, HIV patients, kidney disease patients, etc should not be prescribed medication? Or do you think that your ideals of medication restriction should only apply to mental health disorders? Genuinely curious, please do answer in good faith.


Markellany t1_iwgnduy wrote

I find your points interesting. Would you mind sharing what your experience was like with benzos? What dosage were you on and for how long? Were you using any other treatment modalities like journaling, some form of therapy, exercise, meditation, support groups? What were some of the withdrawal symptoms you experienced?


seejordan3 t1_iwgrpe9 wrote

I'm a caretaker, for many years, of my partner, who was on them for 15 years. Too long, right? Correct. She was incorrectly prescribed them for way too long, as many people are. A very high dose (8mg+).

Being her caretaker means I get a lot of other people needing support and advice with benzos. I can tell you, they are slowly killing us. I understand some people need them or they'll not slowly-die. It'll be fast. I get that, and I'm not saying they don't have a place. OMG, so many times we're in the ER with seizures and of COURSE the EMT's reach for benzos first, because they work. I'm no science denier. But if one in four doctor visits results in a perscription for them, there's zero chance people are being told the risks.

To answer your question about treatment routes: yes, everything you can think of and 1000 things you never thought of. Journaling, therapy, support groups ( is incredible; and she's called SAINT Ashton in our house), daily yoga, eating REALLY healthy, Kito diet (to help with the seizures). The symptoms... there's over 100 of them. My partner could at any time list 30-80 of them. It'd be easier to write the symptoms my partner didn't experience.

We all (esp. doctors) are optimists. We say, "that won't happen to me (PAWS)". And the scrips fly. Benzos REALLY work great in the short term.. so people get hooked REALLY quick, and those "possible side effects" are forgotten about. Then the up-dosing begins for efficacy after tolerance withdraw after a couple weeks/months... and that hell I would save people from.

Benzos. They delay suffering. Prove me wrong. I am now pretty good at reading medical studies, so sources! Here's some..

(let me know anyone wants more). Have a wonderful day, and thank you for coming to my Ted Talk!


Markellany t1_iwu7xki wrote

Thank you for this information. I agree 8mg for 15 years is not appropriate. I do think they are helpful for people dealing with acute trauma, ptsd and temporary things like fear of flying etc. I have noticed that many people I know who have died prematurely were on a benzo. Clear and correct information needs to be provided to people considering any medical intervention so they can make informed decisions.


seejordan3 t1_iwuwvb0 wrote

Oh, Benzos work, really really well. What they do, and I'm no neurologist.. is they are a crutch for your gabba factories in your brain. They flood your brain with gabba, artificially. That causes your brain to say, ".. we are good on gabba, don't need more, shut down those gabba factories". And those factories then stop working. But, you taper out pretty quickly, and need more to have the same baseline effect. So yea, they work! But only for awhile. Then you realize shit, I can't go off this or I'll die (literally, you can't just stop this drug, you have to do a many months' taper, and cross your fingers). So what's the appropriate length of time to be on them, what's the risk. Considering 20% after 2 months go into long term, I would argue its VERY VERY rarely useful. Our minds generate anxiety for a reason, to tell us to change what we're doing. Yes, it can produce so much, or so little gabba, that a person can be stuck in a hole. But, that's not time for a drug, but time to make changes in your life FIRST. Benzos will simly delay your suffering to a time when you are hopefully more capable of dealing with life stuff.

Ok now to the other end of the spectrum. Benzo deaths. About once a year we hear of someone we know dealing with depression and anxiety who was on benzos as well as SSRI's and other drugs. I realize SSRI's also have about 20% prolonged withdraw.. But its never as bad a withdraw as benzos are. So when people have a cocktail, we so often the chalk it up to "drugs", and often opiods.. but rarely do we look at the worst culprit in that cocktail: benzos.

Thanks for listening. A friend lost his brother a few months ago to suicide after being tapered out for years on benzos. People need to wake up to the danger of this drug. We simply don't understand if something works for a few months (REALLY well) that it will be very tough for people to stop taking it.


hooplah t1_iwde482 wrote

my therapist has told me to slowly and thoughtfully list out 5 things for each sense (5 things i can see, 5 things i can hear, 5 things i can feel, 5 things i can smell, 5 things i can taste), in detail like you suggested


kek99999 t1_iwdo5kj wrote

I do similar, but in decreasing counts (5,4,3,2,1). It’s my go to exercise to this day ANY time I feel my anxiety getting out of control. My favorite thing for sure.


Italiana47 t1_iwd9u77 wrote

Also putting your bare feet in the grass or holding an ice cube in your hand can help ground you.


pixel_of_moral_decay t1_iwdhbdz wrote

There’s a lot of science behind this.

You’re basically taking your brain under manual control and forcing it to focus on specific things vs you’re defective automatic behavior where certain things get excessive focus.

It also can calm down kids when they hyper focus in a tantrum or even when hurt. Asking them to “help” you by identifying 5 things they can see, smell, etc will surprisingly work.


displacedfantasy t1_iwe88zb wrote

Great advice. If I can add a technique my therapist wife recommends: rub an ice cube or ice pack on your face, it can jolt your system out of the fight or flight response.
Splashing your face with cold water can also work and might be easier to do sometimes


ForksandSpoonsinNY t1_iwe8icb wrote

I began having panic attacks in 2020 and putting on a meditation YouTube video to focus your breathing and help with mindfulness helped for a time push the firehose of thoughts away for a bit.


princessnegrita t1_iwcw589 wrote

Okay for right now, since you’re in school full time:

If it’s a CUNY they should have personal counseling and a health center. If it’s a cuny without those, see if you can be referred to a CUNY that has it.

Explain to them that it’s a crisis and hopefully they’ll be able to have someone see you asap. I mentioned the medical office because you’re having a physical reaction, they might be helpful for giving you techniques to slow your heart rate etc.

If it’s not a CUNY, see if the school offers any similar services. They should!

I don’t think in school personal counseling is the best long term answer but it’s useful for a crisis.


princessnegrita t1_iwcwu7s wrote

Also wanted to add, from experience it’s worth letting your school know.

If you’re having a hard time overall, they can give you extensions for assignments and relax some of the attendance policies. They might even be able to point you to emergency grants and things like that.


ViennettaLurker t1_iwdagon wrote

+1 to this, you don't even have to go into too much detail about your life situation. Highly, highly recommended to work with your school on this


justins_dad t1_iwdiskb wrote

I am a teacher and I want to see my students succeed. When I taught high school, I was very lenient about deadlines during college application season. What I’m saying is most professors are normal (or even compassionate) people and will have no issue working with someone overwhelmed.


JelliedHam t1_iwf5bbz wrote

I've had poor teachers in my life. I've had great teachers in my life.

Every great teacher I've had is a person filled with compassion for others and passion for educating. That doesn't mean lenient. Some of my best teachers pushed me very hard. Sometimes I didn't even like them. But every single one of them would be there for me if I needed them. At times I even took them up on that.

Nobody becomes a teacher for fame, money, or glory. Real teachers are proud of themselves and want to see their pupils learn and succeed. It's a selfless profession. The definition of compassion.


crimsonred36 t1_iwdvw0k wrote

+1 direct communication with your professors and being frank about your situation can be a huge thing. Most (likely not all) professors should be kind/understanding enough to give you some leeway, or make alternate provisions for classwork, and it all starts with communication.


detectivewaffles t1_iwf7a9o wrote

Absolutely this. Your school may have a specific disability designation that you qualify for. Mine did, and it truly made school manageable and successful for me when I had severe depression - professors were required to be flexible and work with me on accommodations.


___pa___ t1_iwe1smb wrote

Professor at CUNY here - please ask at the school they have plenty of services to help both emotionally as well as financially. Talk to a trusted professor or the chair of your department. They will help. There are a lot of services you might not realize.


Treat--14 t1_iwemmv1 wrote

Use this as ur last bet, it kinda sucks. Personal experience. It also takes about a week of emailing them and getting an appointment.


super_common_name t1_iwd9wn3 wrote

People have given great references and advice but I just want to add a few things:

You're doing a great job of building your future. School, work, a daughter - all those things are wonderful. Please know that you're doing all the right things and headed in the right direction.


  • School financial aid depts often have loans for emergencies. If you go in and tell them that $500 was stolen, they may be able to give you a loan. You'll have to advocate for yourself and ask for that - tell them you've heard that emergency financial help might be available, and ask if there's anything they can do for you.
  • Religious organizations often provide financial and other help. Even if you aren't Jewish or Catholic, you can go say that you are or that you were raised in that religion and let them know you're turning to them for help.
  • If you're not already on WIC or whatever food stamps are called in NYC, apply for those. It doesn't matter that you're working.
  • You can call 211 to be referred to places that can help prevent homelessness by giving emergency rent money. Your school's financial aid office might also be able to refer you to lots of financial programs like this. They may also help with childcare programs.
  • Sign up for Christmas gift programs for kids, and holiday food, etc. You're surrounded by a community that wants to help. Let them help.
  • If you need to work less, apply for temporary disability. It will probably pay 60% of your income. You can even apply for that just for working fewer hours.
  • Meds help. Friends help. Laughter helps. Don't turn away anything that helps.
  • If you can get away from the relative who stole from you, do so. Try to stop interacting with anyone in your life who's toxic. Not always possible, but guard yourself from them as much as you can.

Avoiding being 5150'd:

You'll be asked if you have a plan to commit suicide. If you don't, you won't be 5150'd. They want to know if you want to commit suicide, if you have a plan, and if you have a means to carry out that plan. (Same for hurting others.) You can talk about feelings of despair, panic, the feeling that you shouldn't exist. Also talk about what brings you out of it, like thinking of your daughter. They won't force you to go to a psych center, they'll talk to you and help you.


School full time, work part time, single parenting, NYC... not gonna lie, that's a lot. An awful lot. Think about if there are any ways to slow the pace. School part time, more child care help, disability instead of work... there might not be solutions, there probably aren't ideal solutions, but consider possibilities and ask around for help.

You've achieved a lot so far, and 10 years from now you'll look back and be proud of what you're achieving now. I wish you the best.


jcf1 t1_iwdjt5v wrote

This should be top post. Immensely compassionate and empathetic but also providing great resources.


goldenporsche t1_iwey425 wrote

this was such a kind, thorough post. thank you for taking the time to help this person.


kek99999 t1_iwdng69 wrote

I agree with 99% of what you said, but “drugs help”? I’m not sure if you mean meds or like illicit drugs.

I’m ultra progressive and am definitely not opposed to the latter, but I don’t think mixing illicit drugs in an unstable mental health episode is a great idea (coming from someone who is neurodivergent).


princessnegrita t1_iwe4b23 wrote

In the context of everything else, I’m fairly sure they’re talking about medication. Another comment above mentioned staying away from psych meds which isn’t helpful to someone who might benefit from them.


k1lk1 t1_iwcr5ae wrote

> NYC Well is your connection to free, confidential crisis counseling, mental health and substance misuse support, information and referral. You can reach the toll-free help line 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by phone, text and online chat. Mental health professionals there can link you to the services you need.

Good luck


Ok-Elderberry-3704 OP t1_iwcrpi4 wrote

Yes, I tried this. I called the places they referred me to. Waiting to hear back.

Thank you


NYMNYJNYKNYR t1_iwd1iql wrote

You could try the institute for family health. They have offices all over the city. They have mental health clinicians who can hopefully see you quickly


woodcider t1_iwddyth wrote

I second Institute for Family Health. I use them for all my healthcare needs.


OxytocinPlease t1_iwdlkm4 wrote

Hey OP! If you want to just talk to someone while you wait to hear back, I’m happy to take the call and just hang out on the phone. DM me if you’d like!


Zxebn t1_iwepsrm wrote

It's been hours now. I hope they are okay.


___pa___ t1_iwe28oz wrote

I posted above but I am a professor at a CUNY college - talk to a professor you get along with or your department chair. There are quite a significant number of services including emotional as well as financial. I know we have emergency funds for students just for this type of reason so your college likely does as well. Plus plenty of counselors. CUNY can be a big help.


bringdatassherenow t1_iwg40be wrote

Try primary care doctor and get a referral to a psychiatrist.

Sounds silly but deep and slow breathes will help you calm down when the kettle is boiling over. Exercise helps tremendously as well!

Practice mindfulness and be honest with yourself and/or the psychiatrist about what is causing you stress (finances, job, school, etc)

Break it down and see if you can build back in a way that allows you to move forward with all goals and priorities.

Also, try CBD if possible, but its a crutch no a solution. Best of luck!


cptsdeer t1_iwd4gm9 wrote

If you do end up needing to go to the ER, please go to the Mt. Sinai on the upper east side. They have a very good and compassionately-run psych program. Absolutely do not go to any of the hospitals in Brooklyn.

I wish I could give better advice, but having a child makes things a lot more complicated. It could be that an inpatient stay would help a lot, and you'd be set up with a psych and therapist and access to medication afterwards, but I have no idea what you'd need to do about childcare in the meantime.

Please keep us updated though, a lot of people on here want to help!


cptsdeer t1_iwd5upm wrote

Also want to add: a lot of people think that your life is going to be ruined if you go to a psych ward, but that absolutely isn't true. If you really think you're at risk of harming yourself, it is so absolutely worth it to get help rather than risk your daughter growing up without you. It might be hard on her to be displaced for a week or two, but it would be so much harder to lose you entirely. If going to the ER keeps you alive, please do it!


TaonasProclarush272 t1_iwfmtv2 wrote

Good advice! Never go to Woodhull, especially for mental health situations, but for anything in general. First lesson I learned when I moved here


cptsdeer t1_iwgm9n9 wrote

Avoid Woodhull and King's County like the plague. I've heard mixed things about Maimonides for mental health services, but I wouldn't risk going there for an extended stay when Mt. Sinai is an option.


Equivalent_Sam t1_iwcwv3s wrote

Those are prob anxiety attacks. Try square breathing. A lot of the symptoms you're having come from taking a lot of quick shallow breaths. Getting control of your breathing isn't a cure all by any stretch but i guarantee that you'll feel better once you start doing it and that it will make your problems loom a bit less large.


citydudeatnight t1_iwcv1ah wrote

Hi I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope this information helps:

NYS has launched a mental health hotline: for FREE emotional support, consultation, and referral to a provider, call 1-844-863-9314.


NYC WELL program: is a city-wide free, confidential mental health support. Speak to a counselor via phone, text, or chat and get access to mental health and substance use services, in more than 200 languages, 24/7/365. The number to call is 1-888-NYC-WELL (1-888-692-9355).


gcaledonian t1_iwd0ehh wrote

Some things I’ve done to self soothe when I was in a crisis but didn’t want to be at risk of hospitalization:

  1. Get into the shower for as long as you need. Sit on the floor and let hot water wash over you. Lie down even. I’ve taken 45 minute long showers followed by lying in bed to calm me down. It became a ritual of sorts.

  2. Call someone you trust and vent a little. Say you aren’t in immediate danger but just need a valve.

  3. Just close yourself off for a little while if you can and let the emotions flow. Cry, vent, say what you wouldn’t tell a doctor.

  4. If need be, try to find someone to help with your child. This may be a necessity to get to a stabilized point.

  5. Reconsider if you actually need a doctor and hospital. Are you in danger? Are you failing to manage? It may be time to step up care.


shant_jan t1_iwcy65m wrote

i'm not sure if they can get you in the system and through intake with someone as quickly as you may need but try Callen Lorde. Its a federally qualified health center so aside from free/low cost therapy, they might also be able to help with other things like medical and dental care.

They also have a crisis text line which might be helpful for what you are going through today and could help you get set up with one of their therapists quicker than the traditional avenues.


MootHoe t1_iwczd2g wrote

Absolutely recommend Callen-Lorde! Good luck OP


gthrees t1_iwd1xpn wrote

everyone wants what is best for you and of course no one is in your shoes.

a helpline is a wonderful idea - and your concerns about where you will receive the care you need and for your child are very appropriate - give them a call and share your concerns.

with regard to money stolen, etc., first-things-first. you are probably right, or who-knows, maybe not! eventually you'll sit down with a cop or a lawyer, but first talk with someone, stability is wonderful. sometimes i just sit quietly in a park or church.

and consider if you have a friend or family member who can help out if necessary, maybe as a sounding-board to help you or your daughter.

you reached out to the internet - you're already showing initiative, that's great! i'm sure a social worker will be glad to talk.


taytaypopo123 t1_iwcvwnc wrote

I get these or something similar now and especially when I was going to school and overworking. Kinda starts with feeling overwhelmed and then spirals out into believing “i cant do this, its too much” and eventually into ideation.

All i can say that helped me isnt like a single thought but getting myself to believe that even though its tough and sucks I can handle it/get through. In my head now i try to go “wow this sucks so much but i can make it so i guess i should”

Totally okay and normal to feel overwhelmed, but sometimes it helps to let those thoughts come into the mind but dont interact with them just kinda watch them and let them drift


mapdegree t1_iwdb263 wrote

Don’t got to the ER, they will throw you in the psych ward for a 3-7 day evaluation, which it times can’t be bad if necessary, but if you’re able to resist doing that then don’t. And if you show up saying you’re having panic attacks and maybe just want to talk to someone or get some meds, that won’t work in the ER either since same story of just bringing you to the psych ward - ER isn’t for mental health emergencies unfortunately whereas the psych wards, though equipped sometimes poorly (looking at your Woodhaul!) are for this sort of thing.

If you have insurance (ugh), I’d like to refer you to Rotchschild Counseling - I was in a very similar boat a couple years ago and didn’t know where to go at first, did end up at Woodhaul ER and THEN Woodhaul psych unit, which fortunately made it out in a day but I wouldn’t wanna spend an expended few days there.

Look up a counseling service for a therapist/psychiatrist (preferably therapist if you’re not looking to just get meds.) The one I referred to above got me in right away talking to someone within a day or two. Other therapy clinics might have faster times.

Also NYC does have a mental health hotline where they can give you references and resources. I believe I called them before and they gave me some decent info, don’t quite remember what:

And lastly, know you’re not alone. We can keep the Reddit convos going, feel free to DM me if you have other questions or whatever! Good luck ✨🙏


jeremiadOtiose t1_iwdfzkz wrote

manhattan (non psych) attending here:

bellevue has a free, walk in mental health clinic that's open weekdays (not sure about weekends). if you go there, best to go in the am, and bring a book and get comfortable. if it's not an acute emergency, live or die, i'd recommend calling mount sinai saint luke's residency clinic, as that's (probably) the better long term option. they do both talk therapy with psychology/social work and med management with resident psychiatrists. not sure their current wait times.


if you go to the ED for a psych complaint, you will not be admitted--(unless you want to and your insurance agrees)--unless you show active suicidal or homicidal intent. that said, you probably don't want to go to the ED with a psych complaint.


30flirtythriving_etc t1_iwd0hws wrote

Circle Medical is virtual, but they got me an appointment ASAP and have been a dream to work with. I don’t know if it’ll be the best fit for the type of care you need, but it might be a good stop-gap for the time being.

I’m SO SORRY you’re dealing with this. I know how heartbreaking it is to be actively seeking help and doing your part during such a desperate time, and then to feel like the professionals are the ones who can’t meet you halfway.


Cake-Vending-Machine t1_iwdlyv2 wrote

Look at all this New Yorkers helping out! It makes this native New Yorker very proud!! Hope u find the help u need OP. We’re all rooting for you!


Foxyboxy1 t1_iwdw3cm wrote

Gosh. I’m so sorry OP. Please reach out to me privately if you need help outside of this forum. I’m a SW here in NYC and wouldn’t mind resource sharing or even listening to you.


creepy_sweetie t1_iwcye3w wrote

do you have any type of support? any family or friends to talk to or to watch your daughter? please reach out and talk to them if you can. remember to breathe. deep breath. and then let it out. drink some water. look at baby pictures of your daughter. go outside and listen to the city. take it one second at a time. we can’t be strong all the time, it’s ok to rest. im not a therapist or anything, but i’ve been through a similar experience a few times. if you need to talk, or vent or just want some cute cat pictures, feel free to dm. you’re going to be ok. it’s going to be ok. ❤️


stadiumjay t1_iwd6mpu wrote

So if you walk into Belvue and explain how you've been feeling they will have you wait there for an evaluation. You will get seen but they may or may not fix anything but it's an entryway to a diagnosis and a possible prescription.


TheAngelPeterGabriel t1_iwd7i9k wrote

You can always contact your primary care doctor. They can prescribe something to help with anxiety. Plus you get to talk to somebody about what's going on in your life. I was having panic attacks earlier this year and I ended up going to the ER because I didn't know what was wrong with me. They said I was fine and I should just go see my primary care. She ended up prescribing me zoloft and I've been MUCH better. Hope you find some relief soon, anxiety and s ideation is not fun.


blasianFMA t1_iwd8tky wrote

I hope you have found the help you need. Checking it at 2 hours old.


JudgeJuryJncos t1_iwe29sg wrote

Aside from the mental health stuff, you need to tell your bank what happened. this is harsh but absolutely FUCK that family member. Cut off all ties with them, because they will NEVER make your life easy. They are not someone you need in your circle right now.
Whatever that check was for, figure out a way to make sure you get direct possession of your money at all times and that it's in a safe spot (not under your mattress either. a bank account that only you know about)


agpc t1_iweai9t wrote

If you need to talk dm me. We got your back


nlsnpgr84 t1_iwcxito wrote

Inpatient treatment can help find some kind of answer but it could end getting your kid taking away from you thinking you are not mentally stable to take care of yourself or kids. Probably not but it happened to a friend of mine. Feel better soon


NumberNineteen93 t1_iwdp60d wrote

In addition to Bellevue, Metropolitan Hospital on 97th/1st has a walk-in clinic where you can be connected to medication management and possibly psychotherapy. Similar to Bellevue get there early (I think they start registering patients at 7:30 AM) and be prepared to wait to be seen.


Real-Syrup-777 t1_iwd0occ wrote has a great list of therapists that you can filter by your insurance type. Check there to see if you can find someone to see you ASAP!

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, OP. You should be proud of yourself for seeking help and even writing this post - the fight isn’t over. You can do it. I believe in you. Sending you love, hugs, and healing thoughts. ❤️


akaenragedgoddess t1_iwd6qu1 wrote

Hi OP. I've had terrible anxiety attacks that made me wish I would just die already and end my suffering. And I've been to doctors out the wazoo for it. So, I hate to see you suffering like this. What I tell you next depends on your answer: what order are the symptoms happening in? Are you feeling stressed, then you get physical symptoms? Or are you getting physical symptoms like the racing heartbeat out of seemingly nowhere then you feel terrible mentally? For me it was always physical then mental but doctors kept trying to treat mental symptoms in the hopes it would manage the physical symptoms. They wasted tons of time and kept me miserable way longer than i should have been. Propranolol helped me tremendously and it should be a relatively easy medication to get.


elephant2892 t1_iwd8rkx wrote

If you’re having suicidal ideations, PLEASE go to the ER asap. I know you’re worried about your daughter, but it’s not helping her either for you to be going through these thoughts. You can take your daughter to the ER with you if that’s the only option and the social worker can help with accommodation in the meantime.


eekamuse t1_iwegly6 wrote

I agree. If you have a plan and think you might do it, go there to save your life for your daughter. She will not be better off without you.

If you ever think you are going to hurt yourself, don't listen to anyone telling you not to go. Treat it like a heart attack. It is that urgent.

There's a lot of good advice here. A lot of complete strangers trying to help. You can get past this. Impossible to believe now but we know because we've been there


SolitaryMarmot t1_iwdlkhv wrote

If you go to the ED you will only be held as an inpatient if they determine you are a danger to yourself or others. But in a non life or death situation like psychosis or something very acute - the ED will only tell you to follow up with an outpatient care provider.

One of your best options is NYC Health and Hospitals Express Care system. Go to

They take Medicaid or the NYS Essential Plan as payment. If you aren't signed up for either they will help you sign up. If you don't qualify for either and have to pay out of pocket, it's a flat rate of $125. But if you are single parent I think you qualify. Even if you don't have a valid visa or green card - they can help.

Once you have even a telehealth visit with them they can get you in for follow up care and help you manage your mental health. They want to make sure you don't end up in the ED with suicidal ideation.

Take care of yourself, your mental health is as important as your physical health.


skip454 t1_iwe67rg wrote

NAMI 800 950 6264


smoretti713 t1_iwe750w wrote

Already lots of good advice here, so instead I just want to tell you that you will get through this. As others have said, you're on an amazing journey to better yourself and create a positive future for you and your child. Keep going at a pace that makes sense and doesn't burn you out. Sending lots of positive vibrations your way 💓


SWGTravel t1_iweaocu wrote

I have no better advise than what's already been said. I'm just poppin in to say hi, and I hope you are doing well.


JanaT2 t1_iweschx wrote

What incredibly kind responses. OP I hope you are feeling better


paulschreiber t1_iwf5gzv wrote

You should file a police report (go to the FBI if it was out of state). Check fraud/wire fraud/etc is a serious crime.


CampfireCozies t1_iwg2b58 wrote

1-888-NYC-WELL. Calling that number saved my life. The person I spoke with put me in touch with services that got me the help I needed.


[deleted] t1_iwcvu7e wrote



crimsonred36 t1_iwdwg09 wrote

I have to say, this is really a toss up depending on where you go. My personal experience while my wife was dealing with a MH crisis is that ERs are so overwhelmed most of the time that they cannot (or maybe do not) take the time to help or diagnose a MH crisis. If you're lucky the hospital social worker will be around when you go, but again that's a crap shoot.

Not saying going to the ER is bad advice, but the reality of the situation can be a lot different than what you're hoping for.


Strange-Beginning-31 t1_iwcws8y wrote

I'm sorry you're going thru this but yeah you could be in danger of an involuntary psych hold if you go to an ER. Also I'd be wary of calling 988 and having cops sent to your house. I think your best bet is to take a break and focus on getting mentally healthy. I'd contact Betterhelp. They'll connect you with a therapist in 48 hours or so


Very_Bad_Janet t1_iwd0zva wrote

Try calling the National Institute of the Psychotherapies. They are based in Manhattan. They do an intake with one therapist and then match you with your therapist-in-training. They accept most health insurance. The therapist graduates in a couple of years or so and you can chose to leave and go to their new practice or stay at NIP with a new therapist.

I know this is not an immediate solution but i hope this helps.. There are also app and telehealth options that other Redditorsmight know more about.. GL and let us know how you get on.


ifearmebrain t1_iwdhoud wrote

Call or text 988 or chat

Edit: it’s from a card I got at a college.


sea3sprite t1_iwdicru wrote

An immediate thing you can do is drink water. When I am stressed and dehydrated, I am more prone to anxiety/ panic attacks, moods swings, negative thoughts.


hanacarp t1_iwdloeo wrote

the wait for services in nyc can be long. if you think it might help you to just speak to someone before/during/after an episode you can call samaritans (212-673-300) for some emotional support. they're anonymous so they won't call the cops on you, and they don't do referrals or anything like that, but someone's there 24/7 to hear you out if that helps.


-goodgodlemon t1_iwdurx9 wrote

Okay so ordinarily I wouldn’t suggest going to something like YouTube for mental health advice. The channel whose videos I am linking I have researched their credentials and had a relative that is a doctor watch a few videos to confirm that the advice is consistent with what is current medical knowledge and practice. She also cites legit peer reviewed medical journals and studies.

Dr Tracey Marks (MD in Psychiatry in Georgia). She has that psychiatrist “I’m going to stare at you until you tell me what is really bothering you” stare down.

What are the symptoms of panic attacks and why do you have them:

3 tools to help manage anxiety:

Meditation vs relaxing for anxiety:

How to change self defeating thoughts:

Alternative medicines for anxiety (very well researched and documented for over the counter medicines. taking a vitamin that might be you might deficient in that has been shown in people with anxiety in multiple academic studies not take colloidal silver to align your chakras)

I’ll add specific videos later but take a look through Georgia Dow’s YouTube. She’s a licensed therapist. While She does reaction videos to stuff analyzing characters and relationships in film through a therapists lens. She also has legit informative videos on her channel. One thing that sticks with me about establishing boundaries in relationships “don’t get caught in other people’s whirlwinds” (oversimplification but want to give you an idea of her content).

Do you have anxiety:

5 ways you can manage anxiety

Therapist explains playlist:


butttabooo t1_iwehwb3 wrote

I’ve dealt with anxiety you’re describing and I’m also an er nurse who’s primary clientele is psych. If you want to talk let me know I can help you. It always gets better babe. Take a deep breath in 2,3,4 hold 2,3,4 out 2,3,4,5,6,7,8. Repeat concentrate on the numbers. In through the nose out through the mouth. I’ll be here. Message me. Xoxo.


EarBright823 t1_iwepxl4 wrote

I pray you get help soon. Or you can talk here. I see everyone trying to help you. That warms my heart. As I had a terrible weekend and seeing that there’s compassion in the world reminds me there’s hope❤️. Stay strong for your babygirl❤️❤️


Positive-Election411 t1_iwf4ezy wrote

Mom of 3 full time school and I feel so stressed I was getting like this as well and today I got a call from CUNY counselor and was soooooo kind and just heard me out. Pls do as everyone is saying and make an apt with ur counselor at school!!! Praying you receive the help u need momma. I know how hard it can be stay strong you got this❤️


6amsara t1_iwfaqdn wrote

Good evening. I'm hoping that you've already received the information and support that you need to help guide you through to the other side of your difficulties. If not, please consider calling the national mental health emergency hotline at 988. You are sure to get services and supports by doing so. And, do not hesitate for fear of hospitalization. It does not sound like you require hospitalization, rather psychotherapeutic and possibly outpatient psychiatric services until your mood has returned to baseline. Also, please know that you are not alone. I work in the field of mental health. I know first-hand how many people are struggling more than usual right now. Please update your post when you can, to let us know that you're ok, and that you've found the services that you needed. Be well.


Ruglife1 t1_iwfnh86 wrote

This may very well be situational .. you are not alone. Slow down and take a day off of everything regardless of what you think it may cost you, ask for some help from a friend and reevaluate what is on your plate and then make a decision or two from there. You may have to reduce time at school or work . There are programs available to you but you have to make some time to go through the hoops. Life is a marathon and we are only in competition with ourselves . Easy does it. Good are not alone.


OverallMixture4633 t1_iwfrbw4 wrote

A comparison of the best teas for anxiety

Tea Caffeine-free? Best for

peppermint yes stress-relief, fatigue

chamomile yes relaxation, stomach upset

lavender yes anxiety-relief

valerian yes insomnia

gotu kola yes anxiety-relief, insomnia

lemon balm yes insomnia, depression, anxiety

passionflower yes insomnia, anxiety

green tea no anxiety, stress

ashwagandha yes anxiety, combatting inflammation

holy basil yes anxiety, stomach issues, joint pain

fennel yes digestion issues, period cramping

hops no depression, anxiety, insomnia, stress

licorice yes stress, anxiety

catnip yes anxiety, sleep issues

St. John’s wort yes stress, anxiety, depression

Traditional Medicinals Cup of Calm yes sleep, anxiety

The Republic of Tea Get Relaxed yes anxiety, stress

Yogi Stress Relief yes anxiety, sleep

Numi Organic Bamboo no anxiety, relaxation

Lipton Stress Therapy yes stress-relief


mousekeeping t1_iwdahet wrote

Do you have any ability to pay out of pocket? Waiting lists to see psychiatric providers who take insurance (especially Medicaid) can be extremely long. If you are able to pay ~$100 you could see a psych nurse practitioner student through telehealth within a day or two who can evaluate your symptoms and severity and either prescribe medication or help you find a decent psychiatric ward. If so PM me and I can recommend a few services

You will not be hospitalized just for having occasional suicidal feelings/thoughts. Evaluation is more complicated than that. In most states you can only be involuntarily hospitalized if a provider feels that you are at serious risk of self-harm or suicide.

So it depends how often you feel this way, whether it's a desire to escape a tough situation vs. a true desire to die, how intense the feelings are, whether you have a history of acting impulsivity, any past self-harm or suicide attempts, whether you drink/use any substances, etc.

If you are at the point where you've started planning and thinking of methods and dates and notes to leave, then is best for you to be hospitalized. Better a short stay in the hospital, as scary as that sounds, than risking a suicide attempt which could traumatize your daughter and leave her without a parent forever.

If that does happen do you have any friend or family member she might stay with? If you choose to voluntarily self-admit you will likely be out within a week.

If you can't get in to see a provider the best way to do it IMO is drive yourself to a hospital with a psych ward and tell them you are thinking of killing yourself. Legally they can't just refuse to treat you if you, though if they're full they may transfer you to another facility. If you call 911 from home they will send an ambulance which will cost thousands of dollars for even a short ride.


Willygolightly t1_iwden50 wrote

The Ryan Chelsea clinic has a few locations and will see you quickly. You are also under no obligation to pay if you cannot afford and if you can it’s on a sliding scale. You will be seen quickly and receive medication that week.


Redditbrooklyn t1_iwdhnu2 wrote

OP, whenever this sort of thing comes up I always shout out Crisis Respite Center. It’s a supportive environment as an alternative to a hospital. I’ve wished for something similar for a relative who has been hospitalized in the past. Hope you get the support you need.


Tatar_Kulchik t1_iwdjgtw wrote

Sorry I can't help, but I feel for you and wish you well. ::Hugs::


kek99999 t1_iwdn28d wrote

Hi OP - I am sorry that you are going through this. I can personally relate, and let me start off by saying it WILL be ok. It may not seem like it right in this moment, but you are strong and you will overcome this. Mental health often starts like a lone battle, but in your health journey you’ll find a support system and the strength and skills to manage all of this. I firmly believe that, and so should you. Better times are ahead.

Please check out a IOP - Intensive Outpatient Program. This is a program which any reputable hospital/mental health facility should have. It consists of a group therapy component, as well as a “classroom” component that has mindfulness and coping mechanism lessons. It is an incredible first step towards mental health care.

I was in a similar spot years ago, and I though I was quickly approaching my self-induced expiration date. Things were falling apart and I felt like I had no control over things. Joining a IOP program was life changing for me. It was the first step towards seeking real mental health care. The group componente meant I suddenly had a support system that understood what I was going through. It’s one of those things that I wish I will never have to go back to, but I am incredibly grateful that I was able to participate in one because I think to some extent, it saved my life.

“Intensive” is in the name because it’s generally a M-Thu program that lasts 3-4 hours in the evening. Perhaps you could check on childcare with a family member?

Let me know if any questions. You will be OK OP. Hang in there.


monkbus t1_iwdnl5j wrote

Hey Elderberry - I was going through this a lot during 2020 and into 2021. Sounds like anxiety (but I'm no doctor). Taking a quick walk outside was enormously helpful. Slow steady breathing in fresh air. Also if there's any way to get more exercise that could be helpful. I have no idea what your fitness level is like or how often you exercise, but when I was feeling my worst, 10-20 minutes jogging or climbing stairs or jumping jacks or anything was almost immediately calming. Also drink water! Seriously it felt like my body and brain were about to chew themselves apart but these fundamental health things worked for me. Hopefully you can also see there are tons of people out there who are willing to help and want to see you happy and healthy... maybe that's a little bit comforting as well.


boobiesiheart t1_iwdrz90 wrote

No specific advice to offer, just hang in there. Help is coming.


Forsaken-Access-6648 t1_iwdu1q0 wrote

Did you call this number? 800-543-3638 health and crisis hotline.


NetQuarterLatte t1_iwe29w2 wrote

Also, if you have the option to take a temporarily leave from school, consider doing so if that will help reduce the pressure and give you a breather.

That may delay your education plans, but sometimes it's better to progress slowly, than risk collapsing catastrophically.


lapuneta t1_iwe5xsm wrote

NYC we'll sucks. I called and I was so infuriated at how I was treated I no longer needed them. Worthless. At least the person I had.

Resources through insurance? Community? Friends that can help look? Employer resources?

I'm sorry it's daunting, I'm struggling now and it all sucks but there's always help. Sucks that they make it difficult to get. Let me know if I can help


AndyBernardRuinsIt t1_iwea5r6 wrote

If you want to talk, I’m here. No judgments. Just someone to vent to, ya know?


pinkytoe_21 t1_iweaxky wrote

If there’s no in person services, is a free mental health/counseling service where you can chat with volunteers or also paid professionals. you can pay and do video chat sessions to i believe! Very helpful if you need something while waiting for an in person counselor


thisfilmkid t1_iwekvne wrote

Do you have a doctor?

Your doctor should be able to fast-track your appointment to a counselor. And if you have health insurance, they should be able to connect you to a counselor too.

Download ZOCDOC. Input your insurance. See the doctor's that popup- book your appointment through the app.

If your insurance isn't accepted, you'll have to call the insurance to find providers or have a doctor refer you to one's they're connected with.


angela_m_schrute t1_iwemwgu wrote

Do you have insurance friend? If so there’s the dr on demand app. I’ve been able to get some same day appointments Some of the drs are in different time zones so it’s worth a shot.

And if you just need a star angers ear to yell into and unload, you can call me


nofate301 t1_iweux6c wrote is a good online therapy resource


stannc00 t1_iwexqid wrote

From a a person experienced with panic attacks.

Don’t think about panic attacks. Turn on some music, the TV, anything that will distract you. Just thinking about it will cause it to be worse. It’ll be over in a little while and you’ll feel better. “The Flintstones” usually works for me :)


Sillynik t1_iwf5t7w wrote

You wouldnt get hospitalized unless you had a plan to kill yourself and the hospital wont be much help if that's not the case. You're having panic attacks. When did you call? There are many mental health clinics in nyc- too many to list but you can google them. If you're looking for individual therapists check psychology today or message me.


eazeaze t1_iwf5ua7 wrote

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.

Argentina: +5402234930430

Australia: 131114

Austria: 017133374

Belgium: 106

Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil: 212339191

Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223

Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

Croatia: 014833888

Denmark: +4570201201

Egypt: 7621602

Finland: 010 195 202

France: 0145394000

Germany: 08001810771

Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000

Hungary: 116123

Iceland: 1717

India: 8888817666

Ireland: +4408457909090

Italy: 800860022

Japan: +810352869090

Mexico: 5255102550

New Zealand: 0508828865

The Netherlands: 113

Norway: +4781533300

Philippines: 028969191

Poland: 5270000

Russia: 0078202577577

Spain: 914590050

South Africa: 0514445691

Sweden: 46317112400

Switzerland: 143

United Kingdom: 08006895652

USA: 18002738255

You are not alone. Please reach out.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.


lilnursieNP t1_iwf7df5 wrote

Go to the ER it’s hard to get admitted now unless you are threat to someone or yourself. They will refer you to services . I hope this helps..the mental health system is broken here.


Eviana27 t1_iwf8abj wrote

Go to the Realization center in Union Square they’ll get you sorted 👍👍👍


OverallMixture4633 t1_iwfrxgo wrote

BREATH in and out. As deeply as you need to. Don"t be afraid you are definitely loved!!!!!!!! I don't know if you pray, but it always works for me. Ask for what you need and you will receive it. Always say thank you. You will get the money back and then some! Don't worry about the abusers. They will get theirs. They always do!!!!


Quirky-Bit3151 t1_iwfz9gs wrote

There are many sources of help dear one. Trust your inner guidance as to what help is best for you. Be still and know that I am GOD within you. You are my beloved child. Be not afraid. Peace be unto you .


cameygordan t1_iwj1oql wrote

Do not go to Gracie Square whatever you do.


AwetPinkThinG t1_iwf7n56 wrote

Some Xanax for now and Wellbutrin for the long run


Kindly_Jello_7171 t1_iwderss wrote

You could be having anxiety/ Panic attacks, OR if you have Diabetes or have physically noticeable fluctuations in your blood sugar, which just act as a trigger for an anxiety/Panic attacks, my mother has had these ever since she had children. First when you feel your heart racing and an anxiety build up, don’t run away from it, keep your composure and face it, trust me it helps( I went through it too, it’s just a mental thing that works) get yourself into a relaxed position (leaning back, legs extend, body at rest, etc.) and breathe, nice and slowly, first through the nose for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds and then breathe out for 6 seconds. Watch your caffeine intake, avoid it if possible because it makes it worse, drink water, seriously, take care of your water intake like you’re a houseplant, it helps. And then start watching your sugar, do you get lightheaded or weak at certain points of the day, have you had too little or too much sugar throughout the day, are you eating and resting enough. And remember to breathe, these are just like waves, if you plant your feet in the sand and find the ways to stay calm, they will pass, another wave may come, but it will always pass.


sysyphusishappy t1_iwdchza wrote

First of all, there are four words you need to keep in mind. This too shall pass.

Second, you need to get out of your head and into your body. Zone three cardio for at least 20 minutes has been shown to lead to significantly reduced levels of anxiety and depression and the results come a few minutes after you finish and can last for a few hours. If you can devote 20 minute a day to exercise, you might get enough distance from your anxiety to come up with more realistic response to your situation. IE how you feel is not necessarily an accurate representation of your situation. SO deal with the feelings first, then try to work on actually fixing things in reality. Right now you're trying to do both at once and it's not helping.

Even if your brain is telling you otherwise, it will start producing dopamine in response to working out and your anxiety will go down, albeit temporarily. But getting that temporary distance from your anxiety might help you rationalize a bit more and maybe realize your response to your current situation is being blown out of proportion by your brain.


bklynzboy t1_iwe9w99 wrote

Not to be a dick or anything but have you tried smoking weed? Seems like you have anxiety


Fact-Cyborg t1_iweutnt wrote

I love weed, but this is not the time or place dude. Weed as much as it may help people with there general everyday life anxiety often makes situations like this worse. If you knew better stop being an idiot. If you didn't know better go look up some of the negative effects of thc consumption coupled with mental health issues.


goldenporsche t1_iwezhsr wrote

bingo. throws people into psychosis. thanks for posting this.


goldenporsche t1_iweyz8l wrote

smoking weed can make anxiety worse for some people. drive them straight into psychosis.