What percent of my annual income should I spend on sending my kid to a private high school?

Submitted by flowerinsta t3_11e2oji in personalfinance

I’ve been advised that it should not be more than 10% but I’m not sure. Edit: My spouse and I have a combined income of 650k.We live in a HCOL area and have only one child.The schools we are considering are mostly boarding schools like Exeter, Choate, Loomis, Deerfield.These schools general cost somewhere between 55k to 70k excluding things like uniforms and school supplies.We don’t have any debt as of now but we do occasionally send money to my spouse’s mother(around 3k a month.)

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

ham_egg_nocheese t1_jacagmq wrote

I don’t think you’re going to get good answers here. Very, very few people earn over a half million dollars a year and want to send their minor child to another state for that majority of the year. You can clearly afford $70k tuition, so if you think it’s worth it and your son wants to go, who are we to say otherwise? Obviously the frugal option would be to send your son to the best public high school that will take him and not spend the median household income for NYC on his schooling every year.

20

theoriginalharbinger t1_jac37vg wrote

This is not a percentage based query, and no good answers are available devoid of context (like your earnings, your choices of schools, their prices, and your expectations).

9

flowerinsta OP t1_jac4oqp wrote

My spouse and I have a combined income of 650k.We live in a HCOL area and have only one child.The schools we are considering are mostly boarding schools like Exeter, Choate, Loomis, Deerfield.These schools general cost somewhere between 55k to 70k excluding things like uniforms and school supplies.

−8

theoriginalharbinger t1_jac6azn wrote

A few quick hits.

1, you can't just say HCOL and name drop specific schools and assume we know what you mean. I'm guessing this is the US, but boarding schools are simply not a thing in the part of rhe US I live in.

  1. You also did not indicate your expectations with respect to these schools here either. 210k is (checks math) what 4 years of private school would cost and is about 4x what I spent getting my BS and MBA.
4

Lollc t1_jad14sh wrote

Those schools are well known. Boarding schools aren't a local thing, they are like being sent off to college.

−3

theoriginalharbinger t1_jad8laj wrote

They're well known among upper crust Northeasterners who want to send their kids to ivy league schools.

That is not "well known" in ant meaningful sense. Exeter enrolls 1000 kids. So over 20 years there have been roughly 5k graduates, or about - out or a population of 400 million in the US - about .00125% of thr population. Or if you prefer it this way, assuming Exeter graduates are evenly distributed throughout the USA, there are 5 in the entire state of Wyoming. To the best of my knowledge - and I'm around OPs income - I have never dated, worked with, or worked for a graduate of Exeter.

7

flowerinsta OP t1_jac70ir wrote

We live in Brooklyn,NYC. Ik that boarding schools are not a very popular option but my son is interested in going to one. As for my expectations, I think that boarding schools are good for his overall development as an individual and the college prospects are very good for students graduating from these schools.Also the connections made at places like these can help him in the future.

−9

MarcableFluke t1_jacmzf1 wrote

Studies have shown that higher outcomes seen for kids at private schools practically disappear when you control for socioeconomics.

6

joybuilt t1_jac2u7r wrote

I’ve never heard of this. It seems to me like it should be subjective to your specific budget situation and cost benefit analysis of available private school options.

6

yes_its_him t1_jac6fo3 wrote

For most people, the percentage is zero.

For you, you are looking at some of the most expensive schools in the country, and it's only 10%ish.

Does the kid want to go to boarding school?

This post was sort of bizarre: https://www.reddit.com/r/answers/comments/11d6lze/isnt_boarding_school_a_way_to_save_money/

As though boarding schools were somehow providing services below cost.

6

flowerinsta OP t1_jac74fa wrote

I live in nyc and the cost of private schools here are bizarre.Compared to those boarding schools are cheaper.Good private schools in nyc can have the same fees as a boarding school without providing accommodation.

−1

yes_its_him t1_jac7j28 wrote

Most "regular private schools" do not cost $60,000/year. Even in NYC.

There may be one or two that you are looking at the cost something close to that.

5

flowerinsta OP t1_jac7o5w wrote

I have edited my comment to add that I only meant the good ones.

−5

yes_its_him t1_jac7us4 wrote

Good point. Probably those places that can only charge $40,000/year for tuition are no good.

4

Worldly_Expert_442 t1_jaci83s wrote

At your income level things become discretionary, to a certain point. I wouldn't say there is a target, you just need to figure out if your cash flows cover it. (And if there is a downturn in your careers, are you able to continue to commit to this path?) Our income levels were similar, in a what I would consider a MCOL area. (It can be VHCOL, but that's not our lifestyle.) We made it work.

We spent a lot on our children's education, why? Because it is something that my wife and I firmly believe is among the most important investments. It didn't slow down our savings rate, didn't require debt; at most it cost us by deciding to not upgrade a house, buy a vacation home, etc.

I will say this, prep your child for some extreme differences in wealth especially if you are looking at old money schools. Your kiddo will be poverty line and potentially "cultural/social poverty line" if you don't have a family connection or some type of legacy (2nd, 3rd, 5th generation), they will likely experience some type of bully at some point. (Some insecure, obnoxious kid trying to fix his/her own ego.) Some kids thrive, some don't.

My son's best friend (for more than 15 years now) had a Bentley and a driver at home, and flew home on an owned private jet for holidays. Absolutely awesome kid & family, but we've met his parents twice. (8th grade and 12th grade graduations.) He spends a couple of weeks over the summer with them and they had a person who texted/set up logistics vs the normal mom to mom communication when he was younger.

3

ProfessorHillbilly t1_jac8t7d wrote

there should be resources at each respected school that can answer this type of question for prospected candidates. my major concern would be - can we afford this on one income- in case something happens. you don’t want to have to pull the kid out- that could be devastating long term.

2

FireBreather7575 t1_jacw44h wrote

This is better for r/New York, fatfire or chubbyfire. You have one child for now - is the plan to have more and do this with more? What does your NW look like (ie. Are you on schedule or behind schedule in terms of NW vs income)

High level, yes people do this with your income, but not everyone (idk, maybe this is one of those where people are likely 50/50 split at this income level). But if education is important to you / family, then go for it. Part of high income is spending on the things you want to. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it, what kind of impact it could have on your other spending, retirement planning, etc.

2

AutoModerator t1_jac22wg wrote

For young people in the US and other developed countries, this advice will apply pretty well if you are roughly between the ages of 15 to 20. You may also be interested in our reading list which also includes some videos.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

Pretty_Swordfish t1_jacfbd9 wrote

Are you saving at least 30% of gross for your own retirement? Are you able to pay other obligations without taking on debt? Do you have all your debt paid off/a plan to pay it off (if low interest)?

Money is there to be used, as long as it is done responsibly. Some people with that income use it for fancy travel or a second home or a boat. If you want to use it to send a willing kid to boarding school and then college (so 8 year commitment), go for it.

1

penartist t1_jach6iz wrote

I'd also consider Lawrence Academy. Great school there.

Personally I think the tuition is well within your budget for these schools. There is no hard fast rule about %.

1

avalpert t1_jacrl6r wrote

At your income level it is all just a matter of personal priorities - there is no 'should' that anyone else can direct you to.

1

GeorgeRetire t1_jad7mva wrote

Spend as much as you like. It appears that you can afford it.

1