I have a fireproof lockbox in my closet with all of that. It's about the size of a medium-sized cooler and weighs 40 pounds or so. If a thief walks by my desktop, laptop, kitchenaid, wallet, wife's purse, two giant TVs, then goes upstairs and passes another laptop, three phones, another tv, and dives behind all of the stuff in the linen closet to grab a giant heavy box that is awkwardly shaped to then run out of the house --- I mean, they've earned it, I guess.

They will have successfully stolen my mortgage documents, two marriage licenses, my mom's will, two birth certificates, two passports, $200 in euros, the title to my car, the loan information for my wife's car, and my wife's student loan payoff information.

That's a lot of effort