Getting married, buying a home, feeling like life snuck up on me.

Submitted by ssoe2020 t3_11dmfe9 in personalfinance

My partner (27M) and I (25F) have been together for almost 10 years. We’ve been wanting to buy a home for the last 6 months or so, but the market isn’t great where we live/want to buy (DC area) so we just renewed our apartment lease for another year. We also recently had the realization together that we’re approaching the age/time in our lives that we’d like to get married soon and then probably have kids in the next 5 years. We’ve been looking at rings so I know an engagement is coming soon, and our current lease is up next March.

I want all of those things and they sound so exciting to me, but financially, they seem near impossible to do - especially back to back. How do people navigate so many major financial milestones at once? Any advice on ways we should be saving/investing together or ways to save money on the wedding? Thanks in advance 💕

Some background on us: Household income: $190,000 and expected to increase in the next year Debt: $25,000 in student loans Combined emergency savings: $33,000 Combined investments: $150,000

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Polikonomist t1_ja9n0ou wrote

There's no shame in renting as it protects you from the uncertainty of the housing market and affords you more flexibility when you might not be sure how your family needs are going to change in the future.

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InteriorAttack t1_ja9llrh wrote

They become line items in your budget

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nolajax t1_ja9onpk wrote

Don't worry. It won't get real pricey until the kids show up.

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tanknav t1_ja9qo39 wrote

Relax...you're doing fine, even if it seems overwhelming. Based on what you provided, you can make it all happen with ease if you make prudent choices. Since you ask for "advice on ways we should be saving/investing together", I'll offer a couple of points. First, keep it separate for a while...I wish you well, but you never know. Double your emergency savings...$33k is not enough for your income and the area. Live below your income level...you'll lose $30k to taxes and you should try to max your investments (IRAs/401ks)...this may seem like a lot, but if you set the habit you can maintain it. Move to the burbs and accept the commute. I-95 corridor has lots of options...maybe look into Stafford. Nice area and you can buy a lot more house and safety down there. Big weddings are luxuries...but they only happen once so follow your heart or your bank account and live with the decision. Rings need not be expensive and in some ways that choice is out of synch with your generation anyway. Bottom Line: You're fine and life is blessing you greatly...continue to make good choices and enjoy the ride. It's only just begun.

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UliKunkel1953 t1_ja9u2kv wrote

>I want all of those things and they sound so exciting to me, but financially, they seem near impossible to do - especially back to back. How do people navigate so many major financial milestones at once?

We managed by spreading these milestones out over time. We got married in our late 20s, had a kid in our early/mid 30s, bought a house in our late 30s. It gave us time to adjust our lives and our budgets to the new normal before we stepped into the next phase.

So I guess my advice is to do one thing at a time.

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Stock-Freedom t1_jaa3wvc wrote

They Follow the flowchart.

My generic advice:

https://i.imgur.com/lSoUQr2.png

Here is the flowchart from the r/personalfinance subreddit’s Prime Directive. If you follow that, you will be ahead of almost all of your peers.

Stop by the sidebar to see the Common Topics, which include basic money handling and investing.

You don’t need to talk to anyone or buy some random book to do this. You have all the tools right here.

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