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g3ckoNJ t1_jad6xos wrote

Do you live at home? If so why don't you pay a set amount to them for rent if they need help. This way it stops when you move out. In either case I wouldn't let them have access to your account.

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Economy_Example_4289 OP t1_jad7q0k wrote

I live at home 1-2 days a week to have a family dinner with them and see my mom. The other 5 days of the week I live with my BF at his home in which he owns. She is always threatening to charge rent because I never "help around the house" but I am literally never there......

She takes $100 a month from me for my portion of the cell phone bill. My BF thinks thats a little much, but I have never seen the statement, but given the price of phones these days it might be correct.

It is very frustrating to be gas lit by my mother. My dad does not do that, he is more so thankful I helped them while he was stuck at home for a year due to serious illness. I am an only child so I bare this responsibility alone.

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FourFingeredBertans t1_jad8oiq wrote

> I am an only child so I bare this responsibility alone.

It is not your responsibility. You bear harassment, not responsibility.

It's never easy to set boundaries, but it will be infinitely easier to set them now than 5, 10, 15 years from now.

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SG131 t1_jadczl1 wrote

I think you need advice on how to handle your personal relationship with your parents more than you need financial advice. You already know the financial answer is to stop doing this to yourself. Move out and if you want to see them invite them to your place or out to dinner so they can’t take advantage of you. A family plan, $100 seems steep if there are multiple people on there. Only pay if you are given a bill and then pay your share. If they won’t do that look into getting a family plan with your boyfriend. And please post in a sub where they are allowed to give personal advice you so can finally stand up to your parents and put some healthy boundaries in place.

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geoff5093 t1_jada9jx wrote

That is BS. You aren't living there, you are visiting. You don't need to pay any rent. And $100 for a phone bill is excessive. A phone plan can easily cost $30-$50/mo, and if you finance a new phone then you'd have a $30-$40/mo bill on top of that for 2 years only. You should just get your own phone plan and instead visit your parents for a day, don't spend the night.

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PansexualEmoSwan t1_jadamtl wrote

That's a lot of money for a single account, let alone a family plan where extra lines are heavily discounted.

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Wisdomlost t1_jadghiv wrote

Unlimited talk text and data for me and it's 75$ a month. That's one phone and could be cheaper. 100 for a phone on a 3 person plan means either you are paying 3/4 of the bill or your parents have an absolutely asinine phone plan that you would be better off leaving anyway.

Do yourself a favor and sever all financial ties with your parents and continue your relationship as equals. Your mom may think of you as her little girl still but your not. You should be on your own and I don't just say that for your benefit. The longer your mom thinks it's acceptable to act this way the harder it will be to curtail the behavior. Change nothing about the way you are around them except the finances and see what happens. If you continue normally then there is no issue. If your mom makes an issue out of the money then you can dig into why this financial control is so important to them.

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royal-horror t1_jadi2ha wrote

bro if the phone plans you can get all unlimited without contract for like 30

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FellowConspirator t1_jadihcy wrote

If they take money, then you need to keep the money out of reach (another account). Further, you have no business being on their mobile plan; get your own.

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thatgreenmaid t1_jadkjz9 wrote

Your mom is stealing from you. FULL STOP. Taking money from your account and 'asking' after the fact is still theft. Move your money. Close the account. Get your stuff out of their house and get your own cellphone plan. It's time.

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escapefromelba t1_jadm0dw wrote

If you don't need unlimited data, I pay $300 annually to AT&T prepaid for 16GB/month. Works out to $25/month.

Also save you $900.

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