Need a way out of credit debt

Submitted by Serious_Square_9025 t3_124sdg9 in personalfinance

As the title suggests, I am in a pretty bad financial situation and need a way out.

Long story short, two years or so ago I started helping my sister repair her credit by adding her to a couple of my credit cards. At the start it was going pretty well. I was earning rewards and my credit score was going up (jumped from 700 to 740ish), hers was going up and life was good.

But all good things have to end. We both had some major expenses come up that we just couldn't deal with and while she makes pretty good money and owns a home it was too much out of pocket and her score wasn't good enough yet (even with me as a cosigner) to get a heloc.

Now, combined we have maxed out my cards(my expenses about 1/3 and hers about 2/3s of the $34k owed) and making regular payments way over minimum but barely scratching the surface.

As the account holder I can't file for bankruptcy because she makes enough to pay off her portion eventually I guess. Problem is, it's difficult to get her to pay more on her part.

What are some good options I can look into? I also have a couple of vehicle loans out that I need to keep. Just looking for help with the cards. I'd prefer not to close them if possible but I am getting close to calling each creditor for payment options.

Thanks in advance

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dmcand3 t1_je0keo1 wrote

First things first - take your sister OFF of your credit cards. Secondly, sit down with her and go thru a budget and have her stop spending so much money thah she can’t pay off YOUR ccs.

Thirdly - you need to get on a budget and get out of the vicious cycle of credit cards. Cut them up and stop using them. The disadvantaged outweighs the advantages. Get on a budget, sell a car or both (depending on how bad that debt is).

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Serious_Square_9025 OP t1_je0lt2q wrote

Replying to dmcand3 (#2,418,944)

We don't use the cards anymore. She pays a bit over the minimum but not minimum plus interest charges, which keeps our balance high. If I take her off, there is a chance that she will just stop paying, but I did take her cards for my accounts away.

I can't sell either of my vehicles since I need them both for work. The only reason they are even under my name is cause I was an idiot and didn't put them under my business.

Mostly, I am looking for debt relief solutions. I know American Debt Relief can help, but since the majority of the debt isn't mine, it is difficult to find anything.

Trying to keep my sister on a budget is like trying to herd cats.

The road to hell really is paved with good intentions I guess 🙄

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dmcand3 t1_je0m5e4 wrote

Replying to Serious_Square_9025 (#2,419,163)

Debt relief programs and transferring debt isn’t going to help. Also, just because you “need” two cars for your business, do you need two financed cars? You should rethink thing and start taking sacrifices.

Do you have a budget? Did you cut all extra expenses? Do you go out to eat? Do you have cable? Subscriptions?

Talking to your sister like a grown adult would be key as well.

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Serious_Square_9025 OP t1_je0nv24 wrote

Replying to dmcand3 (#2,419,225)

I have a budget for myself. The vehicles pay for themselves, but if I were more on the ball, I would have leased instead of financed. But when it was just me, none of this was an issue.

I send my sister a detailed email every month with what she needs to pay on what's owed. But I also can't force her to pay anything more than what she does.

I was hoping she could get a heloc to pay off her portion so I could remove her from the accounts, but she doesn't have the credit score, and mine has now tanked so debt relief seems to be my only option.

We won't default or anything like that, but we also aren't making real progress.

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HorizontalBob t1_je0ojbm wrote

Most "debt relief" is to tank your credit badly enough and not pay until the companies are willing to settle.

Have you looked at taking each portion and looking at how much it would take to pay off in 5 years? Can each of you afford that share?

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Serious_Square_9025 OP t1_je0pmj7 wrote

Replying to HorizontalBob (#2,419,628)

Yeah. I figured. If I could, I'd just file bankruptcy and start rebuilding myself.

I make $66k to $70k with 2 jobs. She's on contract right now for $130k, so technically speaking, she could pay it off in a year.

It'd be great if I could just push her portion on to her and be done with it.

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dmcand3 t1_je0q85k wrote

Replying to Serious_Square_9025 (#2,419,509)

You’re all over the place. Leasing vehicles? No! That’s the most expensive way to drive cars. Your cars pay for themselves? I doubt it but okay.

It seems like you have a lot of excuses that you just can’t get away from. Your sister needs to be a grown adult, I get you can’t make her pay anything - however, your generosity of allowing her to boost her credit and use your credit cards should hold some weight.

I don’t have any other advice besides getting yourself on a detailed budget and cutting out any extra expenses.

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Serious_Square_9025 OP t1_je0s2rs wrote

Replying to dmcand3 (#2,419,917)

I've heard there's some benefits to leasing versus financing, but I'll take your word for that. Either way. Can't get rid of the cars, and they aren't the problem anyway.

And I get the excuses thing. I am trying to salvage a situation without alienating family or losing entirely what I have built for myself. It'd be easier if I could just pass off her portion to her and get it off my accounts, but outside of legal action, I don't see that happening.

I was hoping for some option that would do anything similar to that but I guess there just isn't anything.

Thanks for your advice. It is good advice I just can't force it on her and that's the issue 😞

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dmcand3 t1_je0ssa6 wrote

Replying to Serious_Square_9025 (#2,420,244)

Again, I’m not saying force anything on your sister. I’m saying have a chat with a grown up (she is a grown up right?). Tell her that your generosity put you in a bad spot and she needs to take control of pay way more to what SHE took advantage of.

Personally I’d sit down with her and explain that you loved to help her, even though I don’t think you helped with anything. But you had generosity to give. List all the CCs smallest to largest and tackle them both TOGETHER one by one, paying extra on the smallest balance and paying minimums on the highest.

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Serious_Square_9025 OP t1_je0ud2i wrote

Replying to dmcand3 (#2,420,352)

We have talked. Sadly, in my family, talking doesn't amount to much. At the same time, talking about it anymore only loses us ground.

That's why I send her the reminders every month. Guess that's really the best I can do for now. My loans are nearly paid off. 1 to 2 years.

I was hoping for something faster so I could focus on those, but I guess it just doesn't exist.

It's a rough situation, but I really appreciate you taking the time to give your insight. Overall, it did teach me a huge lesson 🤪

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