Your mortgage is too much. You're at over 40% DTI just with the mortgage alone (when you factor in HOA you're at 40.7%). 61% of your take home is going to the mortgage! Your wife probably needs to make at least $30k/year to get into a more healthy range for just the mortgage (32-34% DTI), add in utilities and other stuff and she probably needs to be more like $50k/year.

The only reason I'm really focused on that is because things will be harder after bankruptcy. You won't be able to turn to credit or loans to bridge gaps. If you don't fix the problem, you could very well find yourself right back into the same situation you are now, except without the ability to stretch things out with credit and try to carry as long as possible.

You need to evaluate your son and his medical issues. What costs might still be coming (direct medical bills, items not covered by insurance needed around the house to help him, time off to care for him, etc) and come up with a really good estimate (as best as you can, no one can see the future) to understand what the next months and year or two might have in store for you.

You need to evaluate your wife's earning potential in a couple situations; partial caring for your son, fully recovered and back to work full time, etc. Then you need to come up with a budget and see how your situation could fit.

Look at this whole picture. Look at a couple road maps out of this, even if you pull the bankruptcy lever. You don't want to fall into a trap where 18 months later and you're back in a hole.