I think you need to look at your spend now, what you intend to spend in retirement (will you have a paid off house? Will your spending increase or remain about the same?), and run your (and your wife's) numbers from projected social security payments.

If you're saving 45K, that means you need to replace something more like 105K in retirement rather than your full salary if you maintain the same lifestyle, so reducing your contribution to 20K hurts you two ways (you don't have that extra 25K in your retirement account and you're used to having 130K instead of 105K). There is a bit of a gap here with your 60K spend, but possibly you're paying for kids' university?

Probably there's some happy middle, assuming you aren't planning on retiring for another decade, but I think you need to do those calculations yourself to see how your budget makes sense with your priorities.

FWIW a minimum savings of 15% (so 22.5K for you) is usually recommended for retirement. I'm not sure what your situation is exactly (it does seem like you are a bit behind), but if you're planning to save less than that, I'd spend quite a bit of time double checking your numbers/assumptions.