Speak to an estate/elder law attorney.

This is so important, I would speak with an estate attorney to be 100% sure.

No.

ERISA is a federal law governing many aspects of qualified retirement plans. One aspect of which is that qualified 401 and 403 plans (I don’t remember about 457) always go to a spouse upon death of the owner, unless said spouse has explicitly waived that right.

The 401k will be paid to the stated beneficiary that you list on that account.

There may be laws in your state that prevent you from naming anyone/anything other than your spouse as beneficiary of your 401k without your spouse's consent? Contact your 401k provider and request a beneficiary change form (the form may require spouse's signature)

You may find these links helpful:

• 401(k) Fund Selection Guide
• 401(k) FAQs
• "How to handle $"

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No, 401k goes directly to your spouse, I'm pretty sure that is law. You can list your children as secondary beneficiaries in the event you do not have a spouse or if you pass together.

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If spouse doesn’t sign off, they are the beneficiary not the trust/children.

The spouse would have to sign off (via notarized documentation) that they are okay with you changing the beneficiary from them (the spouse) to the trust.