I would also add, don't forget about funding retirement too. It's fine to slow or stop retirement contributions for a short period of time to build up a downpayment, but doing that for more than a few years is going to really start to hurt long term. Being house poor is one thing, but being house poor and not have much saved for retirement is financial suicide for OP's income bracket.

I think OP needs to sit down and have a long hard thing about their priorities, and what's achievable with their realistic income and decide on what needs changing.