> living in the SF Bay Area

You officially don't make "good money".

You can penny pinch every bill and still be stressed out or you can take better measures. Move, maybe get a roommate for a few years. Meet some people that are looking to rent out a room or floor to you and meet them a few times to see if you like them enough or seem like a normal person. Sell a bunch of shit you don't use.

Also getting a higher paying job helps too. Contact recruiters to find you jobs and get interviews. Say no to dinners out and take a break from dating.

>I have about 90k in credit card debt accumulated over many years. Mostly on 3 credit cards.

Payoff card with highest interest first and pay minimum on the others. This is the cheapest way. Maybe Uber 1-3 nights if possible, if you have a car.