I understand how you feel. I have credit card debt and it has hurt my self esteem because I don’t feel like I can trust my judgements. I understand having panic attacks. The truth is that you need to break down all your expenses as others have put and take a hard look at your living expenses and decide if 90k is possible to pay on your income. If it’s not, then you need to get a second job

If that’s not an option, I think declaring bankruptcy will be your only chance to improve your life circumstances and mental health.

I chose the path of working two jobs as someone who struggles with mental health issues. It’s not easy, but it is doable.