Submitted by venturecapely t3_zz252a in personalfinance

I've been using YNAB for years (literally - like almost 10 years now) and I always run into the same problems and am looking for 1) suggestions, 2) alternative ways to use it, or 3) a different budgeting tool all together. The common issues I face:

  1. I don't like having to wait until money hits my account to be able to budget for it. We have fixed annual salaries so we always know how much money is coming in. It also makes it difficult to account for the fluctuations in "pay weeks" in some months (4 weeks vs 5 weeks). I'm a CPA and have a really hard time with this.
  2. We struggle with sticking to budget categories because my husband pays zero attention to it. I've tried showing him multiple times and various ways but he is like a child in this respect. We currently spend more than we take in.
  3. Staying diligent with tracking transactions. Sometimes weeks go by and then I don't have time to go through them. I end up doing a fresh start.
  4. Budgeting for occasional items
  5. Moving money between categories is easy but its difficult to view what the original budgeted amount was and what movements were made. If I'm over budget one month, I don't want that to automatically be my new budget next month.
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Riknarr t1_j28yk4n wrote

If your husband isn't on board with it then it won't work, not really a way around that

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Its-a-write-off t1_j28z1r0 wrote

What is the goal of your budgeting?

I use YNAB. I have variable income, but 1 is not an issue. I budget for each month at the start of the month, allocating the funds that came in last month.

  1. This isn't something a budget can solve. It is something a budget can bring light to, and with both of you on board can be a tool to help you get spending under control. But the actual changing of his behavior needs to come from him. Does he sit down with you and help you cover the overspending? Seeing exactly what category he has to take from to cover the overspending? That made a huge difference for my spouse. Seeing that his overspending meant less for the kids activities really helped him change behavior and stop seeing it as harmless spending.

  2. Do you use auto import and the app? Down time on my phone is when I add spending.

  3. That happens each month. We set aside for occasional items very month. But if someone overspends, then they see the progress to that goal take a big hit.

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venturecapely OP t1_j28za1b wrote

Any suggestions on getting a spouse to be on board? He is terrible with money, always has been. He looks in the bank account and if there's money there, he spends it. I have had to resort to setting up separate accounts that he cannot see to hold money set aside for bills and monthly expenses, which helps. But our grocery and home maintenance expenses get out of control because he is responsible for a lot of those purchases.

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shortandfastpeople t1_j28zfe6 wrote

100% agree, this isn't really a budgeting problem this is a "we're losing money each month but my spouse doesn't care problem" which is honestly much harder to solve.

OP - there are other budgeting apps out there, or you could build your own in excel, or you could use mint/personal capital (which are more like spending trackers than budgets, but people use them). You could even update to the newer versions of YNAB, which are subscription based but which automatically pull in your transactions from your bank, which would eliminate the not tracking thing you mention in #3. But ultimately unless you and your husband get on board with a spending and savings plan none of that will do anything but let you more easily see exactly how much money you're losing each month.

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ReluctantChimera t1_j2908k1 wrote

If your husband cared enough, he would do it. He doesn't.

Separate your finances, get a separate bank account that you both put money into for bills and household items/groceries as soon as your direct deposit hits. Get a savings for rainy day fund and do the same thing. Then you budget your money as you see fit, and he can blow his money however he likes once he's met his responsibilities.

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Riknarr t1_j292vgp wrote

Tbh short of taking control of all the finances and treating him like a child and giving him an allowance you won't get anywhere without him helping out. How is your communication? Sitting down and having a frank conversation about finances? Does he understand the stress it causes? Maybe working out a plan and future goals could get him on board I dunno. People are the most difficult part of any equation.

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ItsChitznGiggles t1_j29aavp wrote

I've heard honeydue is a really good one for couples, its supposed to have tools for situations like this.

However, like others have stated, of hubby doesn't care, you won't fix it with an app

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