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You can’t pay off debt without money. If you’re at the point where you’re never going to be able to climb out of it, it may be time to consult a bankruptcy attorney, but bankruptcy isn’t a decision to make lightly.

Would you be able to afford the mortgage + car if you stopped paying the other debts?

How long will it take for partner to get a job, do you think it will be relatively quick? If so, will you be able to cover the debts when that happens?

How does that process work? My credit is already bad from missing some payments and a high percent of credit used.

Also, would we have to give up our house if we do file?

Yes, I would. I haven’t thought about that. I just don’t want them to go to a collection agency. Would that be worth having some debts sent to a collection agency so I can cover the mortgage and car?

Once the New Year begins, I’d say it’ll take about a month. From the budgeting calculations I’ve done, we will if they get a job that pays $20 an hour with minimum 30 hours a week (taking into account withholding and they are on my health care).

If it's only a month to get a job, just live off of rice and beans for a while but make sure to pay the full amount towards the mortgage and the car. Those are the two most important things (assuming you are in an area where a car is necessary)

Bankruptcy is designed to keep you homed and employed, so you would almost certainly get to keep your home, and if you use your car to commute probably that as well. I can't be certain because I don't know enough about your specific situation and I'm no bankruptcy lawyer, just letting you know it's definitely worth talking to one about.

Your credit would be hit hard, but does it matter? Credit only matters if you intend to apply for more loans or credit cards, which are probably a good idea to stay away from till you get back on your feet regardless.

I may reach out to a bankruptcy lawyer to get advice. I have been thinking about it for about a month now but that is a really big step to take and scares me to be honest.

Is OP's "partner" a spouse? If not, their joint assets and joint debts could complicate a bankruptcy petition.

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Also, are there any good short term loans that people know about for bad credit?

How much debt are you in not counting the house? Why has your SO not got a job yet? Even a low paying bad job while looking for a new job is better than no job.

Nothing that isn't predatory, and you can't borrow your way out of debt anyway.

I would stop making all payments other than the mortgage. Free up cash from the cards to resume mortgage payments. Your cards will eventually have to be paid off or settled but it will buy you some time and keep you in your home. After a few months your creditors would be willing to take a lot less than what you owe to discharge the debt. Your credit would be damaged but it's better than bankruptcy and possibly losing your home.

Don't borrow to try to get out of debt. It's just going to put you further in debt. I've never seen a debt issue solved with more income. It's helpful, but it's a tool in the toolbox.

My recommendation: for all your debts, call the lender and let them know of your issue. Most will work with you and take about anything to put towards paying down the debt. Then you need to buckle down on your expenses and conveniences and hold fast to a budget. You might be eating the Dave Ramsey beans and rice for awhile, but you need to get your spending in check first. If you've purchased too much house, you may want to consider downsizing to another home. If you've got a mortgage that is assumable by others, you may have a bidding war if you've got a favorable interest rate.

After that you'll need to prioritize your debts and budget. Always pay for home, food and utilities, and if you don't have anything left over, then don't pay those other debts and work with the lenders.

I don't see bankruptcy working well for you with a relatively decent salary. It sounds like to me you were living outside your means.

If you want the best advice on here, list out your debts, income and other expenses. Some people will suggest some pretty extreme things, (bankruptcy, living in a box to save the mortgage payment, walking to work etc), but often it comes down to spending habits and not having a budget. Paying off debt with more debt isn't great, but occasionally you can get lower interest rates and save some money. Generally it's better to just suck it up and pay them off if you can. Also, would really recommend having some good conversations with your partner. Finances are a joint effort, and both people need to be on board

Short term options for things saving extra money... second jobs, selling things you don't need, filling for benefits like food stamps, unemployment, Food banks, thrift stores for essentials.

Try using either the Avalanche or the Snowball method to bring down your debt. There are YouTube videos that have extensive information on these two methods. Prep your own meals and refrain from going out to eat. Pause all investments including IRAs. Just invest enough of your salary to receive your company's matching contribution. Once you have ended your debt your options will open up immediately to save and invest more aggressively.

Of course not. You are not a good risk for a lender. Your partner needs a job, any job, now. It may not be the one she wants but you need money. Best of luck to you guys. I was there once and it sucks.

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I am by no means a financial advisor but if anything I'd like to add that as your partner continues to look for a line of work maybe have her also look into getting a small job while she looks for something else it will give you maybe not what you're looking for monetary wise but it will give you a thousand or so extra depending on wage . At least ! Hope everything works out .

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About $16,000 in auto, personal and credit cards.

Thank you! Yes, I’m hoping anything at this point, just need more money coming in.

For only 16k it seems like the other person getting a job would be all you need. You definitely could speak to a bankruptcy lawyer if you can find a free consultation or somthing. From what I understand 16k is on the lower end of it being worth it.

This is it. Your partner needs some form of work, even if it's minimum wage. That will get you both out of the hole.

This is going to sound like I'm berating but you need to think about why your partner has not been working since August.

I mean more that it feels like this was a situation where she lost her job and you guys just kind of tacitly agreed that you could get by for a while. So she took some time for herself. I'm not here to judge about that particularly, but I am here to say that this is why you need to have a budget and a plan because the day she lost the job you could have said "you not working is going to put us xyz behind." and if that isn't motivation then you have bigger problems. The most alarming thing of this entire post is that your partner didn't even think to get a seasonal job at like Target.

This forum is riddled with posts from people who are in desperate straits because their partners are terrible with money and don't understand consequences. It is natural to want to indulge our partners so easy to ignore little things here or there. It is also natural to want to indulge ourselves once in a while and maybe also keep that from our partners. Then you have an emergency and the little things add up really fast, as you have seen.

That said, your situation is far less dire than you are thinking, if she can go back to work. I mean this to encourage you. I know financial stress really sucks.

The logistics of the advice in the other comments is good.

Yes, we definitely dropped the ball and were not being realistic. We both have worked our whole relationship so we have never experienced something like this. It’s not an excuse for not being prepared tho.

Debt snowball. Slash spending, get a temporary job until a career job is had. Don't take out more debt!!

How does the snowball vs avalanche work?

This is a good point. If OP and their partner attempt to file for bankruptcy, the courts will expect that both parties will bring in income.

No there are not. Getting a 'payday loan', because that's what that is, is making a whole new problem.

I can shed some light on going through it. I was in an almost exact same situation. My wife lost her job about a year after we bought our house due to medical issues and went from 2 incomes down to my one which at that time was about $55k. We missed a bunch of mortgage payments and went into foreclosure. I was the only one on the loan/deed and ended up declaring bankruptcy. I'm in year 5 of it right now and almost done with trustee payments. It's not been great but it was a necessary evil. We're current on everything these days and I look forward to not having to pay the bankruptcy trustee. Luckily my wife didn't need to be in the case with me and for any debts, my mom has been willing to cosign so we aren't fucked on interest rates and I work for a credit union in commercial lending.

If you have a good network around you, it can help lessen the negative side effects. It doesn't get you out of them all together though. I was terrified going into it but if it's what you need to do to keep a roof over your head, it can be beneficial. Talking to an attorney that helped walk me through the options went a long way towards my peace of mind so I would recommend doing that. They have no emotional interest in it and will look at the facts and tell you what your best route is. I wish you the best and have been in your shoes. It's not fun but you WILL get through it. Feel free to shoot me any questions you have as well and I'll answer them as best I can.

Edit: Also to answer your question, you do not have to give up the house to file bankruptcy. Our mortgage was sold to another servicer and we pay our normal mortgage and we pay $325 a month to the bankruptcy trustee that goes towards the arrears that we owed from not paying when we couldn't.

Is your partner looking for a job?! Did they get unemployment? The job market is still very good so it’s hard believe your partner hasn’t found one single job.

I haven't read the whole thread, so maybe this has, been answered already, but the snowball is:

-List all debts from smallest amount to biggest, ignore interest.

-Pay the smallest first, minimum on everything else. Throw everything extra at it.

-When that's gone, take the payment from the first debt and start putting that towards the second one, and so on. Until they are all gone.

This is not the cheapest way because you ignore interest, but it is the most rewarding one because you should see some results from paid off debt rather quickly. Psychologically speaking, especially if this paying off debt thing is new-ish to you, this is the version you're most likely to be able to finish.

The other option, the avalanche method, is similar but you pay the debt with highest interest first. This is usually (a bit) cheaper but harder to stick with because it will take a long time to see results.

Great, thank you! Is avalanche the opposite?