How to stop stressing over spending money

Submitted by Random_Ai t3_zzf5yy in personalfinance

I'm a 19 year old male from a low income background and I live with my mom for the time being. I have a job and I help pay rent, and the most part, I'm good at saving money and I'm pretty frugal. But whenever I spend it on anything especially if it's something for myself like a hobbie, whether it's coming out of checking account or my cashapp, just the thought of seeing the number decrease, even when I know I'm not blowing money stresses me out.

I'm so used to being broke, that I have to force myself to go for the cheapest option, or if I do buy something that's slightly expensive, I have this mindset that I have to make that money back because my paycheck is next week. Sometimes, I would work more than I actually want to just because I want more. Right now, I have about 2.5k in my checking account and $130 in my cashapp, and every time I use cashapp after awhile, I'll go to an ATM to withdrawal money and deposit it to my cashapp over and over just because I hate seeing the fact that I'm spending money. If I'm not spending it, then I'm lending it to my family almost regularly because they need it often. I know making more money won't fix my mindset, but I want to get to a point where I don't have to look at my account and hesitate to buy stuff I really want. lol

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sonnyfab t1_j2b812k wrote

Make a zero sum budget. Then you know what you will be spending and on what. It makes spending less stressful.

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Random_Ai OP t1_j2b8t7m wrote

explain

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sonnyfab t1_j2b90ql wrote

Read.

https://reddit.com/r/personalfinance/w/budgeting

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Random_Ai OP t1_j2bd4e0 wrote

ik about budgeting but i was expecting like a straightforward explanation of a zero sum

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sonnyfab t1_j2bd8vq wrote

The wiki explains it very well. If you have specific questions, feel free to ask them. Saying "explain" however is not a specific question.

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Random_Ai OP t1_j2bfdl2 wrote

I'm looking into it now. it's making more sense. thanks

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Chrismeyers2k1 t1_j2b9lqe wrote

Nothing wrong with being cautious on spending, provided you are actually increasing savings each month and not lending it all to family or whatever it's a good attribute to have. Id stop the money lending prompto.

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Random_Ai OP t1_j2bczyp wrote

>Id stop the money lending prompto.

how when if it's somebody like my mom?

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Chrismeyers2k1 t1_j2bdhrf wrote

Easy. Tell mom you aren't going to lend her your money that you earned anymore. She's an adult right? Shes had a long enough life to learn how to be an adult, dont you find out odd she cant handle money and has to rely on her son?

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Random_Ai OP t1_j2be8qo wrote

she's keeping a roof over my head though

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Chrismeyers2k1 t1_j2bei9s wrote

Shes paying the mortgage or the rent the same amount regardless of whether or not you are there. You are not a causitive factor in her inability to manage her finances other than she likely guilt trips you into constant loans. Cut it off now before it gets any worse. She needs to sink or swim.

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wolf8sheep t1_j2bef9c wrote

You sound like you would be responsible enough to have a cash back credit card that you pay off in full every month.

Try to build up your credit to where you qualify for something like the citi mastercard 2% cash back. Hoard those reward points until cybermonday and buy gift cards at a discount on something you would buy anyways which could be a hit or a miss although you can always use those reward points to cash out or offset your bill.

As for not stressing about spending money just focus of the value buys that cost more but last longer. Besides that start saving for retirement by opening a roth ira and seeing if your employer offers a 401k match.

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therealstabitha t1_j2b9o3x wrote

Tbh, therapy. I wasn’t able to let myself grow when my salary doubled because I was so used to hanging on by a thread. Therapy helped me a lot to work through the causes of those anxieties and to be able to deal with reality instead of what I projected onto reality in my head due to years of trauma related in part to being broke

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[deleted] t1_j2b8d24 wrote

Not line in the US. Not seriously. It's a joke how little protections we have. I was getting an anxiety just signing a lease because who knows what would happen. I had a job walk me out the door because they didn't want to pay me the rate for reaching 5 years

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