You must log in or register to comment.

calvinistgrindcore t1_j8mzufs wrote

Personally, I'd get thousands of guys with gas-powered leaf blowers to blow all the abandoned cars into the storm drains


MacKelvey t1_j8nbrzd wrote

just get a couple temple students to work as interns


SnapCrackleMom t1_j8ndcmt wrote

Make the Temple students who flipped the car on Sunday do it as community service


CroatianSensation79 t1_j8nzwcn wrote

hahahaha. This was Port Richmond last week! I was like this doesn’t make sense.


GebPloxi t1_j8qh7s0 wrote

You should not attach a chain to an abandoned car and pull it so that it blocks a street. Then the city would have no choice but to tow it away. That would be a big inconvenience.


typeytypetype t1_j8nb9zb wrote

Start by picking up all of the trash and power washing EVERYTHING, install self compacting public trash cans, plant sidewalk friendly trees everywhere possible, install mirrors to aid pulling out of the small side streets, somehow implement a one car per household standard, there aren't many empty lots but turn the few that exist into pocket parks, add more murals, allow streeteries again.

Probably ambitious for 24 hours but a girl can dream...


RoverTheMonster OP t1_j8owemt wrote

Wow this mirror idea is amazing


typeytypetype t1_j8ox6lp wrote

I see it every now and then, I don't know why it isn't ubiquitous, it's such an easy fix. Especially when people park past the curb corners making an exit even more dangerous.


Cloudy_Worker t1_j8qowz0 wrote

It really is... thinking of the pickup that parks on the corner and reserves "their" spot with a cone. Can't see anything when I turn at the end of my street


conorb619 t1_j8r6xzc wrote

I come home every day to a work van parked on the end of the block on the right, and cars approaching from the intersecting block from the right don’t have a stop sign. Fun stuff


NousIe t1_j8q7bfm wrote

All of this but somehow repave the street and lay all new sidewalks too.


chr1os t1_j8n9sh7 wrote

This question sounds like how the city handles every new project proposal


BUrower t1_j8p6svn wrote

Oh no, here its a small pilot study that gets renewed once, then funding dries up and we just stay with the status quo


owenhinton98 t1_j8qs4qn wrote

You didn’t realize that the Philadelphia home charter is drafted entirely off of Reddit polls?


uptown_gargoyle t1_j8mzt10 wrote

I'd get dumpsters for each entrance to the park. People short dump there and the garbage that gets produced from people enjoying the park is way too much for the provided cans to handle.

I'd also get artists to paint the outsides of the dumpsters so they look good.


SnapCrackleMom t1_j8nbpng wrote

Unlimited resources? Vastly increase the number of guidance counselors, social workers, and behavioral therapists in every school.


theAmericanStranger t1_j8nfsol wrote

>You get whatever resources you need, but only 24 hours to complete your project


SnapCrackleMom t1_j8nhr93 wrote

Yeah but

> whatever resources you need

If the district was suddenly offering mega salaries for social workers, you could absolutely hire a crapton of social workers in a day.


theAmericanStranger t1_j8njfum wrote

... and fire them after 24 hours, lol.

Anyway, it's nice to dream every now and then! enjoy your day :)


typeytypetype t1_j8nch0q wrote

Oh, I was thinking external alterations, but this is probably the best answer. I'd also add the social workers and behavioral therapists (or other people with similar skill sets) to the local police force, and increase the salaries of our teachers by, like, a lot.


FormerHoagie t1_j8nee4a wrote

Trash, it’s always trash.


hguess_printing t1_j8pcnwo wrote

It’s truly the most jarring thing about this city vs others is the amount of trash!! Why no corner trashes?? Do we feel like it would be too much of an overflow of dog poop or what?? More available would hopefully eliminate the overflow. I feel like the ones in popular areas get overfilled because they’re like the only one in a 4 or 5 blocks radius sometimes, if at all.


rootoo t1_j8tz4y7 wrote

And the damn crumbling roads. I commute down walnut through west Philly and it’s like fucking Baghdad with all the potholes.


Nova_343 t1_j8nw6dy wrote

Jettison my neighbors into the stratosphere.


FormerHoagie t1_j8pj018 wrote

Can we attach every heroin and meth addict plus the dealers? Maybe even everyone who owns an illegal firearm.


44moon t1_j8nl90p wrote



Rakinonna t1_j8oqtg7 wrote

fruit trees


SubstantialWish t1_j8p7z51 wrote

Nah fruit trees require a lot of maintenance and make a big mess. Not good street tree candidates


Lazerpop t1_j8noqdb wrote

Infinite resources? Pay off everybody's student loans, car payments, credit card bills and prepay their rent until the end of their lease. Duh.


thefirststoryteller t1_j8n84fo wrote

I live in Queen Village. Can I have my 24 hours in the summertime? Because then I’d do something to get ATVs and similar vehicles off South Street. Don’t know if that’s confiscating them, setting up barriers, or what but it’s the one issue that unites basically all of QV


taskermorrisrider222 t1_j8njvv7 wrote

Pedestrianize South St., especially the East side. You can't have loud cars or ATVs if South St. is only open to pedestrians.


LFKhael t1_j8nk7hi wrote

The dirtbikes ride on the sidewalks, what are you talking about?


taskermorrisrider222 t1_j8nknff wrote

If South St had hundreds of pedestrians on its streets and sidewalks, I don't think the ATVs would continue going down that stretch. Sure, I've seen ATVs ride on the sidewalks, but the majority are on the street.


CRolandson t1_j8phad4 wrote

You can claim abandoned cars and scrap them


oldRoyalsleepy t1_j8nps6k wrote

Thousands of linemen with trucks and directional drilling rigs put all the electrical and telephone wires underground where they belong. Aaaahhhh.


LFKhael t1_j8nqdh7 wrote

I need a spoiler tag for how lewd this comment is.


nitronomicon t1_j8no9zc wrote

Tow all of the cars from the median on Broad Street and replace them with large planters. The planters can have trees, bamboo or whatever, but they have to be large enough so that cars cannot park there again.


NonIdentifiableUser t1_j8nudt3 wrote

We can and should do this in a grassroots way. Keep large jugs of water, soil, planters and whatever we want to plant in there. Have a discord chat or something to communicate, and whenever someone notices an empty spot, mobilize whomever is available in orange vests and plant that shit. What could anyone say about it? The parking there is technically illegal.

EDIT: I’m not kidding. Vigilante beautification since the city has absolved themselves of any responsibility for this.


Past_Cartographer230 t1_j8ojpk6 wrote

This is dumb. Broad street is a snow emergency route and state route. They will be removed no matter what


ClintBarton616 t1_j8nd7nl wrote

Speed strips down the block. We've had multiple accidents this year, including one that sent a fire hydrant into a home.


rndljfry t1_j8numyz wrote

I'm convinced those speed cushions are a full grift. Every time I see them they are absolutely shredded to bits.


ClintBarton616 t1_j8o7ekd wrote

the ones I'd want to see more of (not exactly sure what they're called) but it almost seems like road paint with grit worked into. They had some on Castor ave for a while doing road work (unsure why they were removed)


CRolandson t1_j8ph0ts wrote

You want speed bumps on castor ave?!?


ClintBarton616 t1_j8ptsc7 wrote

They weren't raised! They were very cool


CRolandson t1_j8pu79q wrote

Alright fair enough. I don’t remember them but speed bumps on that road would be a nightmare


Bellabird42 t1_j8o3j8u wrote

What about mini roundabouts, like they have in the UK?


courageous_liquid t1_j8p7n3y wrote

We now have two of them on concourse dr in west Philly near the mann/please touch :)

...all the signage was run over in the first week :(


Capkirk0923 t1_j8omfqs wrote

Remove every Nissan Altima and Dodge Charger permanently in a 1 mile radius from my place.


ElectricalMud2850 t1_j8rkksp wrote

If I had a dollar for every time I was passed by one of those cars from the left turn/oncoming lane on a city street I could probably fund it myself.


IndigoWallaby t1_j8nfko6 wrote

Close all the streets surrounding parks and schools to thru traffic


tomyownrhythm t1_j8nmo36 wrote

Cut $100k home improvement checks to every homeowner with a 100% repayment stipulation if the property is sold within 3 years or if funds aren’t used to improve the property.


tomyownrhythm t1_j8nn7hu wrote

Note: this only works with unlimited resources, per the OP


Mindless_Medicine972 t1_j8nfmsh wrote



gritty_rox t1_j8niy71 wrote

Oo oo oo can we use a material that will last longer than one winter month????


courageous_liquid t1_j8nl3jb wrote

You should ask for all civil engineers with ADA ramp experience to spend a single day designing and contractors building as many ramps as possible.

Currently 50% of the paving budget is going to ADA ramp design-builds because the city has been sued like 8x over it.


William_d7 t1_j8noviz wrote

It’s crazy how many workers they have on those projects, how much concrete is used (never mind if it’s an already new sidewalk and you could totally replace one 3’x3’ square and get the same result), and how often they STILL don’t meet the street grade seamlessly.

People complain about the lack of a jobs programs but this clearly is one - for white guys from Jersey.


courageous_liquid t1_j8nssw0 wrote

Our office (burbs) does a lot of them but the people that do the engineering and inspection live in the city.

Curb ramps are surprisingly finnicky. I fail about 75% of the ones I've inspected, though I rarely do inspection much anymore.

They're supposed to come back and do a pavement adjustment so that they meet street grade (and so that water can flow correctly around them) but often that step gets missed.


PBO123567 t1_j8nobej wrote

Trash removal, trash cans at corners, street lights. Point Breeze.


hitplay225 t1_j8ob4wa wrote

Point breeze reality check: within 72 hours, the trash levels would return and the trash cans would be overflowing (and no one would ever come empty them).

Street lights would be nice though


Bartleby_TheScrivene t1_j8njc9s wrote

I'd demolish the on/off ramp for I95. There's so much traffic to get to it and not a single person driving thru stops at any of the local stores, as evident by the rows of vacant storefronts. All it does is invite tons of traffic and noise.

Or I'd build a wall around Kensington.

Or paint Aramingos streets, from Old Richmond to Bridesburg — there's not a single line on that road that isn't deteriorated to the point of invisibility, and drivers treat it like a street in India. It's an absolute nightmare at night.


Mtnlab89 t1_j8nohye wrote

I would fix the bathroom situation in the Wissahickon. In particular the bathrooms at valley green inn.


FreyaR7542 t1_j8npb1l wrote

Trash. Omg trash. Including my neighbor’s hoard in front of her house.


mortgagepants t1_j8o24zh wrote

i would plant a tree in every available space. easily something that could get done in 24 hours, then they grow for years.


Alternative_Focus147 t1_j8nw0zp wrote

Free local composting center


Dashists22 t1_j8p3wna wrote

I’m not sure if you mean to drop off your compostable or to get compost.

Either way I figured I would share this:


Alternative_Focus147 t1_j8p5ks7 wrote

Thanks for sharing! Both - a local community garden where all my neighbors could drop off their food waste and yard clippings and get compost back a few months later


[deleted] t1_j8o3ift wrote

give people a bunch of money and let them do with it what they will


hethuisje t1_j8ny4ft wrote

Remove all abandoned and low-use cars. I think this would free up enough parking to defuse the single-issue people for whom parking is a barrier to anything. Then, after the one day car removal blitz, we could have a whole different conversation about street cleaning, building more housing units, and bike lanes.


sandiosandiosandi t1_j8o05qj wrote

I would tear down all of the obviously abandoned houses and make sure the empty lots are treated for lead in the soil so they're all available for anyone with a green thumb who wants to urban farm the land. While the teams are out working on the various properties, I would spend my time creating a digital map of all the newly available garden locations and work with folx like Sankofa Farms to share the map.


FishtownYo t1_j8pgj1r wrote

Destroy all my neighbors homes and live on a majestic grand estate


ryanisntreal t1_j8of4sf wrote

Everyone from Rhawnhurst (however few of us that may be) knows this, but demolish that hookah bar by Castor and Rhawn, and the Albanian Cafe with the jet black windows and steel door on Buselton by Farrell Elementary because those establishments are nothing but trouble.


Substantial_Soft_188 t1_j8nlnsg wrote

I’d put traffic controls on Henry Ave so people stop treating it like a race course.


RufusLaButte t1_j8nqh7n wrote

I'm shutting down east passyunk to traffic permanently between Snyder and Dickinson.


vanderide t1_j8pc8ck wrote

They could put timed bollards in place so that you could still get deliveries and remove waste during certain hours


NoREEEEEEtilBrooklyn t1_j8nt04l wrote

I don’t want to give away my neighborhood, but I would try to lay as much trolley track as I could in 24 hours down a main arterial road in hopes that I can get a trolley route that gets very close to my house. Might be tough to do in 24 hours.


AKraiderfan t1_j8o87yn wrote

In fishtown, so my priority is to completely rip up frankford of all of its asphalt, completely rip out all of Girard's trolley tracks, trolley stops, and all of the road.

Why? I only have a day, so there is no way we can repave everything, but if I take out all of frankford, all the cutouts with shitty patches would get repaved.

Rip out Girard's trolley tracks and stops, and cross my fingers they'll get reinstalled in a way that the road can be aligned so that assholes aren't driving in and out of the trolley path at shit speeds when they go back and pave it and/or reinstall the tracks.


BiilZbubb t1_j8o8wg2 wrote

I’ll aim small and just install a speed bump on my street. There’s a park down the block where children play, doesn’t stop people from speeding up the street.


anliecx t1_j8oio2t wrote

More trash cans… actually not “more” but ANY street trash cans in south Philly


DEATHCATSmeow t1_j8owip4 wrote

No more loudass cars/bikes that feel like it’s necessary for you to hear their engines revving from multiple blocks away.


In_Search_Of_Gainz t1_j8o79sa wrote

Public trash cans in front of convenience stores, corner stores and take out food places. I love our local corner store but there is so much trash that comes from there. Candy wrappers, lottery tickets, etc. A trash can out front would solve a good bit of the litter


CRolandson t1_j8phmqy wrote

You put too much faith in people to actually use them. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve seen people throw trash on the ground with a trash can within 5 feet


jeseaj t1_j8ocgwg wrote

Problem = roaches & mice, Solution = an army of rats and enough trucker pills to fuel a 24h all out conquest to reclaim the city


CRolandson t1_j8pibbg wrote

Wtf? Your solution to mice and roaches is to bring in an army of rats?!?


springthetrap t1_j8pu4oa wrote

Then you deal with the army of rats with an army of snakes, which in turn is dealt with by an army of mongooses.


CRolandson t1_j8pucws wrote

Ahhh then the mongoose take over the city so we release the lion army! I like where you’re going with this.

Wait, wouldn’t the snakes kill the mongoose?? I’m confused


jeseaj t1_j8q6tvu wrote

Fear not of rats for Gritty is the pied piper of Philly


Dashists22 t1_j8p2yw8 wrote

I’d plant a tree in every viable spot in the neighborhood. You can never have enough trees when that summer sun comes calling.


ForkBombGoBoom t1_j8opk22 wrote

Speed bumps on 5th from Girard to Montgomery. I've seen two cars flip on 5th between Master and Jefferson, two bad accidents where the traffic lights and multiple cars were totalled at 5th and Thompson, and many more smaller accidents between Girard and Master on 5th, just within the past few years. Human Robot's streetery also feels very dangerous with how the cars behave. As soon as people get past Girard and the speed bumps south of it on 5th they gun it.


Revolutionary_Bee700 t1_j8pkc2m wrote

Swarm North Philly with drug treatment staff for 24 hours and try to get people into free rehab.


Nymwall t1_j8pp2b8 wrote

Cleansing fire


KingQuaddyy_ t1_j8q35nb wrote

I’d get rid of Kensington. Zombieland is very depressing and I can’t stand getting on the train with zombies either on my way to work or coming home at night in the train


VJ_KEVLAR t1_j8nxm88 wrote

Turn the vacant lot into a tree and picnic park


kflan138 t1_j8o7oxv wrote

Trash cans that live out front of peoples properties all the time, and never get taken inside.

If it had to be ONE thing that is 100% doable and enforceable, that’s the thing for me.


Astrostuffman t1_j8q10wp wrote

I’d buy out Snowden’s properties and make Germantown Ave. a destination again.


tellmetheworld t1_j8rbe7j wrote

New fun solmanov restaurants on every corner


Badkevin t1_j8risjf wrote

Yeet the homeless from the El.


zodwallopp t1_j8rj5vf wrote

Block off both ends of my alley with dumpsters and declair myself an independent country.


Beart8o t1_j8rvylh wrote

Close Germantown Ave to cars, make it just bikes, trolley, and outdoor seating for businesses.


Harrowgate_215 t1_j8sxb3t wrote

trash regulation and punishment for those who don’t comply


Nanis149 t1_j8w3wfx wrote

I would split a bus route in two, make one of the parts have at least 30 minute frequency, and then extend it to a regional rail station.

either that or i would somehow get sidewalks installed along a few side streets

if I had a lot more time, I'd get at least one bridge over train tracks installed too

also trees. a lot of trees. that seems most likely because there's a lack of them here too.


owenhinton98 t1_j8qs2ae wrote

Less of the gentrification waking me up with jackhammers at 7am


petedogg t1_j8newqa wrote

Replace the asphalt street surface with cobblestone or Belgian block. 1) To slow cars, e-bikes, etc and 2) it looks nice!


PhillyAccount t1_j8n4he4 wrote

Missile defense system that targets the hospital helicopters


porkchameleon t1_j8n0o6u wrote

Remove every other bench in the Rittenhouse park - those new ones are too close to each other, I like me some space.

Re-open Bards with the time that's left.