Sober events/meetups?

Submitted by malcolm_miller t3_y6et4c in philadelphia

Hello,

I am recently sober and am looking for sober groups to find some likeminded people and potentially meet a dating partner. The apps are difficult since people tend to unmatch after letting them know I'm sober. So I'm looking for events to find people more in line with my current goals.

I don't need meetings, I also am not religious. I'm just trying to find sober people hanging out doing stuff.

Any ideas?

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pup12345 t1_isov4b0 wrote

Not an event, but Volstead in manayunk is a zero proof bar!

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Zhuul t1_isqlio6 wrote

That’s an absolutely hilarious name for a zero-proof bar. Love it.

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dandylinemine t1_isqny9w wrote

Came here to say this! Volstead is a good place to find others who aren’t into drinking (some who identify as in recovery and others who don’t)

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go_berds t1_isp7kf1 wrote

I’m not sober but I would absolutely love to add some hobbies and activities to my life that don’t include drinking

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KMDC63 t1_isp85a9 wrote

Been sober 18 years. Keep going.

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KeenMcGee t1_isp2pb4 wrote

I saw a lot of sober people wanting what you want at improv theaters. Like taking a class, going to shows and being in shows eventually. Just google theaters in your area.

You can also sign up for Heyday Athletic to take an intramural sport to meet people.

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malcolm_miller OP t1_isp36i8 wrote

Thanks I have had an interest in improv. I'll Google for that

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handyymann t1_ispaab7 wrote

Hey hey, I teach improv in philly and know folks at all the theaters, happy to answer any questions you might have about the scene!

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malcolm_miller OP t1_ispmx3p wrote

Sure! I'm brand new to it and available weekends and weekday nights. If you could give me some pointers, I'd be thankful!

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ComicConArtist t1_isp7yxu wrote

rec leagues and pick up sports aplenty if you like being active, thanks to the metro area and all the schools/students nearby

can find pick up frisbee going on a couple times a week over by penn park, which is not only for students either (am actually not a philadelphia resident but parents/family live there and i visit somewhat often and was playing there last weekend...accidentally made a comment here earlier in reference to my current homecity in tallahassee, without realizing what sub this was... my bad). google/social media groups will be the best place to stay up to date on this info

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PlayaDeSnacks t1_isp8wak wrote

Good looking out, meetings def aren’t for finding dates lol.

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[deleted] t1_isphzwp wrote

Hey keep it up! Don’t know any places to help but just wanted to drop a positive message!

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No_Function_5070 t1_isoss17 wrote

Unity Recovery in Manayunk might be a good resource! They have a yoga studio, vegan/alcohol free restaurant, and a taqueria. I'm not in recovery myself so I don't know what events they hold, but all of their ventures are centered around creating safe spaces for those in recovery (i.e. in the yoga studio they ask you do not discuss alcohol).

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j_casper t1_ispibb2 wrote

So i’ve been sober for quite some time, and i agree with the folks that say “don’t make a big deal over it” I won’t even mention it and then grab like a coke at dinner and if they ask, I usually then go into why, but tbh it’s no one’s business and being sober doesn’t stop you from doing literally anything.

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lushpaprika t1_isqm1wg wrote

There’s a newish group run that meets up for a 5k and sober social. You can find them on Instagram at Thedryrunphl

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Wheelie_Dad t1_isqn79q wrote

I’m sober too. I do all kinds of stuff. The cycling scene in Philly is a great place for sober folks. Do you ride bikes?

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malcolm_miller OP t1_isqnfi5 wrote

Unfortunately I do not, I need to get a medical thing checked out before I can. I'm not opposed though

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Inner-Figure5047 t1_ist0ru5 wrote

If you're athletic, club teams for adults are a great way to socialize sober. In my area the YMCA offers lots of classes and clubs at reasonable prices. Also PA has some of the best hiking and biking trails in the country for sober outdoor fun and free happy brain chemicals.

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Angry_ClitSpasm350 t1_isr3u1e wrote

Been sober for 3 years and the best thing i did was learned how to play golf. Great sport to do with friends or do alone!

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cheesewiz90 t1_isq8sob wrote

There is a Facebook group called Philly Sober. They are planning an in person dinner for next week.

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dmbbowa t1_ispy6oj wrote

Hey! Thanks for the post! Getting sober is no small feat. Congrats on the work that you've done! I'm in a similar situation, I stopped drinking at the beginning of the pandemic and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. I now find myself rediscovering Philly through a sober lens. I don't have any ideas since I'm also figuring it out, but if you ever want to check something out with a sober buddy, let me know!

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malcolm_miller OP t1_issq1q0 wrote

Perhaps! I'm kinda hesitant to start something because I'm still working out social anxiety as a sober person. If it's a group, it's a lot easier, but one-on-one feels a bit scary right now. I'm not opposed though!

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bellpepperrings t1_isso1ik wrote

Board games are a great hobby too, there's meetups and even when they are in bars no one drinks because they want to be sharp for the game. And it's an all-weather activity.

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cpietr01 t1_isya9qv wrote

Cliffs at Callowhill is a rock climbing gym, which boasts a strong sober activity community!

It's a very chill place, tons of cool folk! Easy to make friends

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Fourlec t1_isq4ik8 wrote

Check out Smart Recovery. Good luck

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doughnutlover666 t1_isqmz9e wrote

If you like biking, there are several fun group bike rides that happen throughout the month at night! Check out Cycle Scene PHL/NJ on Twitter. I like Wednesday Night Rides and the Night Cycle rides

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doughnutlover666 t1_isqn66f wrote

Sorry - I'm re-reading your post and should clarify that these are not strictly sober events but they are just really fun

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jimgillespie t1_isqxvz0 wrote

Sadly no recommendations, but I wish you well ❤️

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Rare-Banana-2256 t1_isrsisa wrote

Newly sober here as well and if you don’t play sports you’re screwed. Just kidding I’m sure you’ll find something. It’s the city of otherly love.

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malcolm_miller OP t1_isspuwp wrote

I'm working on getting into tennis and disc golf, I also occasionally play basketball, golf, and side-yard "football". I guess I need to look more seriously at rec groups.

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AdFun240 t1_issanqm wrote

pick up a passion. cycling, tennis, running, guitar, etc. The love for that will more than occupy the space that the drinking did. I'm not sober but I don't drink often since I want to keep my mind and body focused on my passion. Once you have a passion the group element comes naturally.

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porkchameleon t1_ist4ezs wrote

A lot of bars carry non-alcoholic beer and will make "mocktails" on request.

I've been sober for about 10 hours; good luck!

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__init__RedditUser t1_isp97zx wrote

As far as the dating apps go, I don't think it would be unethical to meet someone and just not get any alcohol.

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Cannedsardinesando t1_ispke5y wrote

Ehhhh if it’s a date at a restaurant or activity sure no prob, but if you are meeting and a bar and don’t mention you don’t drink, I would be highly uncomfortable. Strange man taking me out for drinks but not drinking himself would be HUGE red flags.

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malcolm_miller OP t1_ispqkod wrote

> Strange man taking me out for drinks but not drinking himself would be HUGE red flags.

100%. I will say that in a few cases of me not disclosing it, I've offered <activity> and people seem to be more comfortable grabbing a quick drink or two for a first date. When I mention I don't drink, I've been ghosted. Some people just prefer getting a drink because it eases the nerves and is simple. So a lot of my pre-disclosure experiences were getting ghosted anyway.

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amedelic t1_isqijvc wrote

I would highly recommend putting that you’re sober in your profile- weed out the bad matches ahead of time instead of anyone investing energy in someone who’s not a good fit for them.

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Burdy323 t1_istvnkb wrote

Why would that make you uncomfortable?

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Cannedsardinesando t1_isvhbno wrote

I am going to assume this is a genuine question so I will take the time to answer you, but I’m muting this because I’ve had too many men try to fight with me online about the experience of being a woman:

Because this is a popular tactic for date rapists. They will buy you drinks or encourage you to drink while they remain sober or relatively sober so they can be more in control of the situation while you become more vulnerable, in order to more easily coerce you into having sex.

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Burdy323 t1_isvhrc3 wrote

Sure, that makes total sense, but if someone legitimately doesn’t drink like OP I don’t think they’re actively encouraging someone to get fucked up. Yeah if someone’s encouraging you to drink and insisting they buy the drinks I’d agree that’s suspicious

I think the real red flag in this situation is the pressuring, not someone being sober.

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malcolm_miller OP t1_ispn3xo wrote

I would definitely feel very weird as a man not drinking while my date drinks. At least for the first few. Potential for a bad power dynamic.

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__init__RedditUser t1_isq46nz wrote

Yeah, fair enough. Maybe start with coffee? Idk, it’s just a lot easier once you actually meet someone in person

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Burdy323 t1_isp9n6u wrote

This, I wouldn’t even bring it up just go out and don’t get alcohol and If they bring it up, simply let them know you don’t drink

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Fourlec t1_isq2876 wrote

I think it depends on OP. Did you stop drinking bc you had a problem or you’re just choosing to not drinking right now?

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mental_issues_ t1_isqetum wrote

I feel like if you don't play sports and don't want to drink you're screwed

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malcolm_miller OP t1_isqhf9h wrote

I'm trying to get into tennis, but I never found a casual group. Disc golf is something I'm getting into though.

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