Submitted by malcolm_miller t3_y6et4c in philadelphia
Hello,
I am recently sober and am looking for sober groups to find some likeminded people and potentially meet a dating partner. The apps are difficult since people tend to unmatch after letting them know I'm sober. So I'm looking for events to find people more in line with my current goals.
I don't need meetings, I also am not religious. I'm just trying to find sober people hanging out doing stuff.
Any ideas?
Unity Recovery in Manayunk might be a good resource! They have a yoga studio, vegan/alcohol free restaurant, and a taqueria. I'm not in recovery myself so I don't know what events they hold, but all of their ventures are centered around creating safe spaces for those in recovery (i.e. in the yoga studio they ask you do not discuss alcohol).
Cool, I will check that out.
Thanks I have had an interest in improv. I'll Google for that
You should check out The Painted Mug! It's a sober space. :)
Thanks, never heard of it!
Came here to say this!
rec leagues and pick up sports aplenty if you like being active, thanks to the metro area and all the schools/students nearby
can find pick up frisbee going on a couple times a week over by penn park, which is not only for students either (am actually not a philadelphia resident but parents/family live there and i visit somewhat often and was playing there last weekend...accidentally made a comment here earlier in reference to my current homecity in tallahassee, without realizing what sub this was... my bad). google/social media groups will be the best place to stay up to date on this info
Good looking out, meetings def aren’t for finding dates lol.
As far as the dating apps go, I don't think it would be unethical to meet someone and just not get any alcohol.
This, I wouldn’t even bring it up just go out and don’t get alcohol and If they bring it up, simply let them know you don’t drink
Hey hey, I teach improv in philly and know folks at all the theaters, happy to answer any questions you might have about the scene!
So i’ve been sober for quite some time, and i agree with the folks that say “don’t make a big deal over it” I won’t even mention it and then grab like a coke at dinner and if they ask, I usually then go into why, but tbh it’s no one’s business and being sober doesn’t stop you from doing literally anything.
Ehhhh if it’s a date at a restaurant or activity sure no prob, but if you are meeting and a bar and don’t mention you don’t drink, I would be highly uncomfortable. Strange man taking me out for drinks but not drinking himself would be HUGE red flags.
Sure! I'm brand new to it and available weekends and weekday nights. If you could give me some pointers, I'd be thankful!
I would definitely feel very weird as a man not drinking while my date drinks. At least for the first few. Potential for a bad power dynamic.
> Strange man taking me out for drinks but not drinking himself would be HUGE red flags.
100%. I will say that in a few cases of me not disclosing it, I've offered <activity> and people seem to be more comfortable grabbing a quick drink or two for a first date. When I mention I don't drink, I've been ghosted. Some people just prefer getting a drink because it eases the nerves and is simple. So a lot of my pre-disclosure experiences were getting ghosted anyway.
Hey! Thanks for the post! Getting sober is no small feat. Congrats on the work that you've done! I'm in a similar situation, I stopped drinking at the beginning of the pandemic and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. I now find myself rediscovering Philly through a sober lens. I don't have any ideas since I'm also figuring it out, but if you ever want to check something out with a sober buddy, let me know!
I think it depends on OP. Did you stop drinking bc you had a problem or you’re just choosing to not drinking right now?
Yeah, fair enough. Maybe start with coffee? Idk, it’s just a lot easier once you actually meet someone in person
There is a Facebook group called Philly Sober. They are planning an in person dinner for next week.
Their food was very pricey but it goes to a good cause.
I feel like if you don't play sports and don't want to drink you're screwed
I'm trying to get into tennis, but I never found a casual group. Disc golf is something I'm getting into though.
I would highly recommend putting that you’re sober in your profile- weed out the bad matches ahead of time instead of anyone investing energy in someone who’s not a good fit for them.
I had the "No" selection on drinking on Hinge
That’s an absolutely hilarious name for a zero-proof bar. Love it.
There’s a newish group run that meets up for a 5k and sober social. You can find them on Instagram at Thedryrunphl
Cool, ty! I'm gonna start c25k actually!
If you like biking, there are several fun group bike rides that happen throughout the month at night! Check out Cycle Scene PHL/NJ on Twitter. I like Wednesday Night Rides and the Night Cycle rides
Sorry - I'm re-reading your post and should clarify that these are not strictly sober events but they are just really fun
I’m sober too. I do all kinds of stuff. The cycling scene in Philly is a great place for sober folks. Do you ride bikes?
Unfortunately I do not, I need to get a medical thing checked out before I can. I'm not opposed though
Came here to say this! Volstead is a good place to find others who aren’t into drinking (some who identify as in recovery and others who don’t)
Sadly no recommendations, but I wish you well ❤️
Been sober for 3 years and the best thing i did was learned how to play golf. Great sport to do with friends or do alone!
Newly sober here as well and if you don’t play sports you’re screwed. Just kidding I’m sure you’ll find something. It’s the city of otherly love.
pick up a passion. cycling, tennis, running, guitar, etc. The love for that will more than occupy the space that the drinking did. I'm not sober but I don't drink often since I want to keep my mind and body focused on my passion. Once you have a passion the group element comes naturally.
here for the sober squad
Board games are a great hobby too, there's meetups and even when they are in bars no one drinks because they want to be sharp for the game. And it's an all-weather activity.
Love board games, got plenty =)
I'm working on getting into tennis and disc golf, I also occasionally play basketball, golf, and side-yard "football". I guess I need to look more seriously at rec groups.
I'll check that out!
Perhaps! I'm kinda hesitant to start something because I'm still working out social anxiety as a sober person. If it's a group, it's a lot easier, but one-on-one feels a bit scary right now. I'm not opposed though!
Thanks for offering your experience!
Huh, that sounds nice!
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Great episode, I listened to the podcast form of it. It was really interesting to learn how much habitual drinking can change the neuro pathways over time. I've noticed a lot of benefits since I quit, many were highlighted in the podcast.
If you're athletic, club teams for adults are a great way to socialize sober. In my area the YMCA offers lots of classes and clubs at reasonable prices. Also PA has some of the best hiking and biking trails in the country for sober outdoor fun and free happy brain chemicals.
A lot of bars carry non-alcoholic beer and will make "mocktails" on request.
I've been sober for about 10 hours; good luck!
Why would that make you uncomfortable?
I am going to assume this is a genuine question so I will take the time to answer you, but I’m muting this because I’ve had too many men try to fight with me online about the experience of being a woman:
Because this is a popular tactic for date rapists. They will buy you drinks or encourage you to drink while they remain sober or relatively sober so they can be more in control of the situation while you become more vulnerable, in order to more easily coerce you into having sex.
Sure, that makes total sense, but if someone legitimately doesn’t drink like OP I don’t think they’re actively encouraging someone to get fucked up. Yeah if someone’s encouraging you to drink and insisting they buy the drinks I’d agree that’s suspicious
I think the real red flag in this situation is the pressuring, not someone being sober.
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1NationUnderDog t1_isos9g3 wrote
I am sober, too. We could be friends!