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JeffHall28 t1_irleifa wrote

One night like 12-13 years ago I was at McGlicheys with my boy Jim and we saw a homeless dude walk in, head back and use the men’s. Bartender looked like wanted to stop him but got distracted. After a few the hobo came out and on his way back up front stops and bums a smoke off me. I think nothing of any of this until I have to use the can myself, at which point I walk into the restroom and there’s a dude at the urinal so I go in the stall. Turns out the hobo had done a messy shit all over the toilet. Looked like someone had flung a pot of chili over everywhere. So I warned the bartender whose initial hesitance to let this dude use the facilities now seemed prescient. Bartender then proceeds to prop the door of the men’s open and spray the whole room with a garden hose from like 10’ away. I didn’t notice any functioning floor drain so this action is rapidly spreading hobo poo everywhere via an expanding puddle of effluence across the floor and atomized via splatters from the force of the relentless hosing. Thinking back I really question this cleaning method.

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RAGING_VEGETARIAN t1_irljob1 wrote

>Thinking back I really question this cleaning method.

Well, hindsight's 20/20. Who among us has not tried cleaning their toilet by blasting it with a hose from across the room?

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Alternative_Rough_14 t1_irlxash wrote

lmao man you just took me back to summer of '97. my friends and i went to the AMC 8 in Deptford for my friend's birthday to see Men In Black.

we all went to the bathroom after the movie was over . they had two urinals and one stall. ran in, way ahead of them, cus i had to pee major. like "drank a 2-liter of coke before getting in the van with the fam and driving to ocean city maryland but 'we're not stopping 'til we get there' because stone cold dad said so" type piss. a testament to Men In Black as a film, i think.

i start peeing in one urinal, friend walks in and starts pissing in the other urinal. he starts pissing. we hear some like real low grunting going on from the stall. just then–and dude, on my grandmother's grave who just passed away last month that this happened exactly as i am typing it–we start hearing shitting sounds, which quickly became the sound of explosives mixed with something like the sound of doom but i'd never heard it before.

then the guy screams from the stall mid-spraying, **"AAAOOOWWWWW MY GODDDDDDDDDDD! THE BURNING SENSATION!"

i reiterate: the events are presented exactly how they happened.

when he comes out from the stall finally, he washes his hands, grabs a huge wad of paper towels, splits it into 2 smaller wads, wets one of them, wipes the backside of his jeans with the wet wad, hits the hand dryer, and proceeds to lean his butt up in the air at the dryer.

we look inside and it was like that scene in Dexter when he has a flashback to being in a shipping container with his mom cut up by a chainsaw. except instead of blood it was human feces. wall to wall, floor to ceiling.

HOW!?!?

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