Interestingly I saw a video recently where a group of black men and one white guy were blindfolded and they were trying to ask questions to figure out who was the odd one out. Ironically they failed and it turned out the white guy had been adopted by a black woman and grew up in Compton (a predominantly black community) so he "identified" with a lot of the aspects of life even those on the panel viewed as "the black experience"

Of course that's not to dismiss the very real difficulties that many people face but it does show how malleable our sense of culture can be. I don't know what the answer is these questions should be but I find it difficult to believe that it's healthy for anyone's sense of self worth to focus on how marginalized they have been. Absolutely, recognize the difficulties you have experienced but seek to grow and overcome them through action and connecting with other people who can provide support.

Racism sucks but putting up barriers to meaningful conversation isn't going to make things better