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tuffnstangs t1_jbmyc3s wrote

I’m so glad you said this. I have been wondering if anyone else has been going through this. I catch myself after I speak certain sentences thinking, “wow that was a good thought you just said. That was well-articulated…. Where did that even come from?” But I also have those “what the actual fuck did you even just say” moments. Like I am a live studio audience to this animated meat machine that seems to run itself and make decisions seemingly outside of my own control sometimes.

Today driving to work I called 911 after witnessing a woman swerving all across the highway for a few miles. I actually drove past the car and looked inside to see if the person was distracted or what the deal was. Thinking back, it was really stupid of me to drive up next to this person who I just watched drive off onto the shoulder of the road multiple times. But as soon as I saw that it was a zoinked out woman with what looked like a child seat in the back seat, my chest sunk through the fucking floor.

Literally seeming entirely outside of my control, I whipped out my phone and dialed 911. The call took 4 minutes but it felt like 4 hours.

Or there are those times where you just get mad to the point where you say or do something you instantly regret. Some people mention that it’s like they weren’t even in control when they did some horrendous act. Like, where do thoughts come from anyway?

I don’t know, I’m just some nobody on a random rock in a random galaxy in some random universe for no reason and none of it makes sense lol.

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Ok-Cheetah-3497 t1_jcm1c6o wrote

I like to think of it like this: your thoughtful-self is a pinball. Your body is the pinball machine (which includes the pinball). The player of pinball you can think of as any of the following: the big bang, your parents at moment of conception, the entire universe and its contents. From the perspective of the pinball you know only that you are rolling around maybe on a trajectory, maybe seemingly at random, all over the place, no apparent cause. But your body subconsciously is a very controlled space with a lot of clearly defined physical rules that actually place your thoughts wherever they are at any moment. And of course, the drivers of all of those bodily events are all things our body interacts with.

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