I feel this way a lot these days. My own specific case is, I'm what you might call a "forever" lover. By which I mean, when I fall in love with someone, it basically lasts forever. I can't just "turn it off", the way that other people seem to be able to. I know that there's got to be something neurologically different about me, and others like me. But I've had to destroy certain parts of myself, because the common perception is that if someone stops loving you, you're expected to stop loving them and "get over it" eventually.

I've been forced to basically "cut out" certain parts of myself, emotionally, because my manner of loving is deemed pathological to most people. And, to me, they were some of my best aspects, my biggest strengths. It felt like killing a major part of myself. Like having to take your dog in to be put down. Except I've been through it multiple times over.

I think about this strongly in the domain of LGBTQ+ acceptance. Decades ago, homosexuality was seen as a "mental illness" by psychologists, and conversion therapy was the norm. Anything that didn't fall under cis/het rules was deemed a problem to get rid of.

The minority group wasn't seen as a group deserving its own validation, but a collection of sick (or "evil") people.

For me, well, we all know that people routinely say such things to their partner such as, "I'll love you forever, no matter what"--and while it's nice to hope for the best, in reality, when the vast majority of people say those things, they're being hopeful, romantic, and/or metaphoric.

And those people, in the majority, think that that's the case for all others as well. They're not aware that there's a smaller group of people who literally can say "I'll love you forever, no matter what" and have that be a factual statement, not just wishful thinking.

So, the people who are more "mood-based" or conditional lovers end up screwing over the lives of people who are "forever" lovers. And people do die as a result--it's one of the bigger reasons for suicides. (edit: and depression, which can cut years off of life expectancy, same with drugs.)

I guess it might not tie in that strongly to this thought experiment. But we do ask people to injure certain parts of themselves simply because "that's what works for most people". But most people aren't all people. Certain "medicines" are poisonous, or even deadly to us.

And the people in my life, like the Healer, really do want the best for me. That's definitely part of what makes it so frustrating, even maddening. It's just like being gay in a conservative community that doesn't tolerate it, and feeling like there is something wrong with you for not being "normal". Even your loved ones can't understand, and want you to change.

If this makes perfect sense to anyone, I consider you "my people". :)