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samcrut t1_j936cd4 wrote

Had a bluejay that would dive bomb me on the way to my mail at an apartment complex. One sunny day it swooped down and pecked my head, but the sun was behind me and I could see my shadow in front of me. When I saw the bird's shadow start it's next run, I spun around and caught the damn bird in mid air, gave it a shake and then threw it straight up. It recovered and flew off. It never came at me once after that.

In the middle of the move, I remember thinking "HOLY CRAP! It worked!?!"


ohmynards85 t1_j93uka3 wrote



shaving99 t1_j95ie4n wrote

We always did but it's not a trick the Robins would teach you.


UncleBuggy t1_j94duvm wrote

Blue Jays are dicks.


JeanValJohnFranco t1_j94gby1 wrote

My parents had an amazing bird feeder right outside our living room window growing up and this is by far my number one takeaway from decades of amateur birdwatching. There would be dozens of birds, finches, robins, cardinals, you name it, peacefully coexisting and happily snacking on the limitless free seed we put out. But every once in awhile some asshole bluejay would show up and every time it would peck and claw at every other bird at the feeder until it was the only one there.


CrouchingToaster t1_j94ty86 wrote

Same situation at my parents place, we came to the same conclusion and also found out that Turtle doves don't know they are fatasses (relative to the other birds). They'd push over the weight limit for feeders trying to sit on them and be super confused that they couldnt get seeds.


msuvagabond t1_j9e5n5p wrote

Mourning doves are like the least situationally aware birds in existence. My parent's bird feeder will have upwards of two dozen birds on and around it (there is a bath there as well) and often at least two or three squirrels. Sooooo often EVERYTHING would vanish, except the couple doves that are there. It's obvious to me, in the house and twenty feet from the window that a hawk is around, but they can't figure it out while they're actually out there...


RandomStallings t1_j94dht2 wrote

I detest Bluejays. The image in the OP perfectly shows the unwarranted balls on a Bluejay. I remember a story where one pinned down a smaller bird and pecked its eyes out, then just left it like that. Come in my territory and lose your eyes?


I'm a mega "bleeding-heart, love all the things, give everyone a chance" type. I honestly hoped your story would end with you savagely murdering that thing.

Sweet catch, by the way.


imfm t1_j946xfu wrote

I was dive-bombed by a pair while trying to herd their fledgling child out of the street. They clearly did not understand I was on their side. They may not be large birds, but they're pretty scary when they're flying around right over your head, shrieking like banshees!


HaloGuy381 t1_j94qfcw wrote

A profound demonstration of the utility of intelligence : both to calculate the bird’s approach thanks to the shadow, and for the bird to recognize being outmatched to avoid ever picking that fight again.


KyotoGaijin t1_j94nkt8 wrote

We had a blue Jay that would run all the crows out of our eucalyptus trees. My mom used to have some kind of conversation with that blue jay.


Colonel-Ingus69 t1_j952g6v wrote

I would have started going to the mailbox with a tennis racket in my hands. The next time the bird dive bombed me I would have been playing badminton with his ass. You just need to let them know who is boss.


samcrut t1_j96d14h wrote

You never knew when it would be there and come for you until you heard the wings and felt a sharp peck on your skull. It wasn't every day, but that bird knew who I was after I plucked it out of the sky and it never gave me anymore trouble. Standard bully rules. Kick the bully's ass and you gain immunity.


rgordill2 t1_j95f4ge wrote

My FIL sometimes has to wear a hard hat while working on the back yard.


BrickUpset889 t1_j94r0x3 wrote

Why aren’t you an athlete?


samcrut t1_j96f302 wrote

Have you seen that video of the pitcher who throws the fast ball and the batter hits the ball and it's all over so fast the batter looks confused at the pitcher saying "No way. Did you catch that? How did you catch that?" "I don't believe it either, but yeah, see? Ball."


PaperXenomorphBag t1_j95c3zv wrote

Tbh, it was probably surprised it was coming for you and you had powers.


Bea-11 t1_j92uyrw wrote

Blue jays are such assholes lmao, great pic


Hagenaar t1_j93k0in wrote

It's because they're from Toronto. Everyone from Toronto is an asshole.

Source: from Toronto


reddit_user13 t1_j94505u wrote

Second only to seagulls.


SirPierreDelecto t1_j947w5r wrote

Are Canadian geese a joke to you?


derpoftheirish t1_j948v9j wrote

If you've got a problem with Canada Gooses, you've got a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.


hitemlow t1_j949v5f wrote

I have yet to encounter a Canada Goose aggressively hovering at eye level while screaming at me.


mrgodot t1_j96c4vb wrote

Tbf, if the goose is screaming at you, eye level, you've only got a couple more seconds of life to live


LordSoren t1_j96ewne wrote

Canadians channel all their hated and bitterness in the geese. They are the Canadian version of Armus


Granny_Nooooo t1_j962gnn wrote

No joke. Seagulls are cuuuuuuuuunts.


iamdotninja t1_j96z8nq wrote

Can you fly, let the wind help you soar and then take a seat on the ocean?


sweetwheels t1_j9968vb wrote

TBF imagine things kept taking your eggs and chicks. You'd probably be an asshole too.


Klarthy t1_j92wu0t wrote

Blue Jay: "Your real voice is so terrible that they dub over you in all the movies!"


itsnursehoneybadger t1_j937dhi wrote

Fun fact: blue jays often do an admirable impression of the red-tailed hawk, which is the bird scream that’s often dubbed in for bald eagles!


imfm t1_j946h8n wrote

My blue jays still do that sometimes, but at least one is even smarter than I thought. They used to perch above the sunflower seed feeders and mimic a Red-Tailed. The small birds would all scatter, and the mimic jay would swoop down and eat. After a while, though, the little birds started to figure it out; they'd hear the "hawk", but only a few would leave. One day, I was sitting outside on the patio, and heard the oddest sound; almost like a Cooper's hawk, but as if it had a head cold. I live right next to the woods, so Cooper's are common, and you can bet the birds know it, and respect the kik-kik-kik. They heard that, and they were gone. I heard them flying away en masse and looked down toward the feeders to see...a single blue jay, parked in one of the tray feeders, happily munching sunflower seeds.


Zhuul t1_j93xa7c wrote

Better to sound like a basketball game than a crow on helium

holy shit i hate blue jays


Smash_Factor OP t1_j92uu2h wrote

Photograph is signed by Ken Wiele


Paintball_Taco t1_j94szl9 wrote

I know him! He was my high school band teacher (best band teacher there was) who is now retired and does photography! Saw the photo and immediately knew it was his.

Edit: the photographer, not either of the birds.


Smash_Factor OP t1_j94zr04 wrote

I saw the photo on FB and figured this would be a good place for people to see it.


Slummish t1_j92x6up wrote

Blue jays and Mockingbirds don't give a shit about your size...


alcabazar t1_j93088z wrote

I have seen Blue Jays pecking a cat to get it to move...a cat, the number one killer of song birds in the world.


ffnnhhw t1_j932q9p wrote

I have seen crows and mockingbirds pecking cats, they go for the asshole

I have seen crows attacking and chasing owls and falcons


Granum22 t1_j93pei3 wrote

I've got a pair of red shouldered hawks and group of crows living near my house. The fights are frequent and cool to watch.


mecharedneck t1_j94brd8 wrote

I once saw a couple of crows escorting a hawk like a couple of cold war fighters tailing a Soviet bomber.


Slummish t1_j94c52s wrote

This isn't really related... But I once saw a "documentary" about birds who put holes in giraffes, build a nest, and hatch their young in a bloody, gaping shoulder wound, and the giraffes don't care (or cannot reach the wound) and just let it happen.

Damn Nature, you scary...


CrossP t1_j92xstq wrote

Blue jays are corvids. They know they have it where it counts.


Slummish t1_j945949 wrote

I should have added geese to that list as well. A goose will chase off a bobcat (or human) without a second thought.


SirPierreDelecto t1_j94846c wrote

Saw post of one chasing off a tiger today. They simply don’t give a fuck who you think you are.


Slummish t1_j948uma wrote

If I had three wishes, the first one would be 'to know everything.'

Geese must be an evolutionary offspring as some ancient line of FUCKYOUASAURUS.


CrossP t1_j94bci7 wrote

Because they know in their hearts that they are bigger and louder than us.


Slummish t1_j94bmid wrote

And they've got those crazy backward-facing teeth in their beaks!


tree_hugging_hippie t1_j94cyrt wrote

Blackbirds too. I watched one dive bomb a hawk for a while once because it didn’t like where the hawk was perched.


Slummish t1_j94dq3i wrote

My favorite pet ever was a crow. He patrolled our entire estate.

He'd chase off EVERYTHING.

His name was Hoots. Mainly because from the day he came to us, he'd say, "Hey, Hootie Hoots."

Must have been raised by someone else.


gitsgrl t1_j95r85d wrote

Like a goddamn redwinged blackbird. Divebombing fuckers.


Flurb4 t1_j93algu wrote

“Hey Baldie, you wanna ligma?”

“What’s a ligma?”

“Ligma cloaca.”


wrathfuldeities t1_j93pfj2 wrote

Blue Jays vs Eagles? They don't even play the same sport.


gonesnake t1_j94tuxx wrote

"Yet" -Conglomerate Sports-o-tron Bot from the future


GibsonBluesGuy t1_j92z3ql wrote

I always wondered why small birds would pester Eagles. Then I visited neighbours down the street that have an Eagles nest in a huge tree in the yard. Littered all around the base of the tree were the skeletons of small birds. The homeowner showed me a shoe box containing dozens of cat and dog collars that had fallen from the nest as well. She said these were the ones without phone numbers.


smurfshoe t1_j9393hw wrote

Theyre trying to drive the eagles away, because their babies be in a nest nearby.


EzraPwned t1_j93iojv wrote

Eagles can only pick up an animal that's 2-3 pounds so I have a difficult time believing they killed a bunch of cats and dogs. In fact I'd say it's almost impossible.

Now an Owl... they can pick up close to 10 pounds and could definitely get very small dogs and cats.


Kalean t1_j94rge5 wrote

Oh good, story time. So... That's not entirely true. A neighbor of mine used to have a grumpy old male cat named Kiki. This cat had seen some serious shit. Had the typical anime-scar on his left eye, and a glare that could cow a pitbull. We assume his name was the source of his eternal ire.

One day, a hawk starts living nearby, and the neighbor's cats start going missing. They lock their doors and keep their cats inside, but cats will be cats, and one by one they get out and are slain by the hawk.

Finally, the day comes when Kiki is nowhere to be found. Everyone fears the worst, and they run out back to find a contented Kiki not far from a pile of feathers and a beak. Never found the rest of the skull, or any other bones, mind. Just the beak. Hawk never stood a chance.


NurseMcStuffins t1_j94aofw wrote

There have been nest cams that caught eagles feeding their babies cats before. It definitely happens. I cannot attest to how common/frequently it happens, but it does happen.


on_the_nightshift t1_j94kong wrote

They don't have to carry it away whole to kill it. Our eagles seem to all kill fish (live on a river), but I wouldn't put it past them to gut a cat or small dog if unattended, and if the eagle was hungry enough.


MalHeartsNutmeg t1_j93zb0d wrote

Depends what eagle it is. They didn’t mention species or country, but there are certainly eagles that would both live in your yard and easily carry a dog.


IllustriousSignal575 t1_j93a90e wrote



EarhornJones t1_j93bn9w wrote

We've had a Bald Eagle fishing the stream behind our house all winter. I always know he's on the prowl when I see the Blue Jays get all worked up. They hate the eagle.

As far as I've seen, the eagle has absolutely no interest in the Blue Jays.

I have to admit, one time when I was walking out to the trash can and the eagle, previously unseen, took flight from the tree in front of me, and it momentarily spooked me. Their size is startling.


FizzKaleefa t1_j95513d wrote

And bald eagles are not even considered big by eagle standards


GreggAlan t1_j997gel wrote

Bald Eagle eyes are the same size as human eyes. Most of their head space is taken up by their eyes.


ryzouken t1_j9363kg wrote

Intellectually I know the blue jay is flying past the eagle left to right, but I can't stop giggling at the notion that the blue jay is performing a flying drop kick traveling right to left that the eagle is about to take square to the face.

Like, yeah, there's no reality where the blue jay's dropping a double footed flying kick traveling opposite of the flow of its feathers, but it looks hilarious.


brandunn13 t1_j9332df wrote

Blue Jays are the worst!


ChanandlerBonng t1_j94rxqa wrote

I mean, they had a few years where they were really good.... and they're getting better now. Vlad and Bo are legitimate stars now...


ceems t1_j95hevx wrote

That Bautista homerun still gives me chills


sockpoppit t1_j93f3d9 wrote

Sat in my brother's back yard once watching the little birds in the bushes torment a hawk sitting on the wall alongside the bushes knowing that he was too big to go in after them. They really were being jerks. They weren't defending anything--they just recognized their advantage and were using it to be pests. Any idea that animals are stupid is definitely wrong.


supertrooper74 t1_j93sgug wrote

I had to zoom in to make out the blue jay. I thought it was some sort of fucked up fish.


TRaViS1496 t1_j94o7nj wrote

Dude yes! I can't believe I had to scroll down this far to relate.


arbenowskee t1_j930sdx wrote

That must've been one expensive lense to capture that so clearly.


Letter10 t1_j9340xu wrote

Good lord eagles are literally raptors lol


klavertjedrie t1_j93i11a wrote

What a daring kamikaze pilot... 0_0


wild-hectare t1_j93oxe8 wrote

Negative Ghost Rider, pattern is full...god damnit!


no_fluffies_please t1_j95lzu5 wrote

Is this really a photo? I honestly thought it was a painting.


TalkingPeace t1_j93a2rl wrote

This photo is cool on its own, but for me As a fan of the Toronto Blue Jays and Philadelphia Eagles, it’s extra cool


adamhanson t1_j93dgda wrote

Birds are really catty


Jordo81 t1_j93ix76 wrote

Anyone else getting superman v flash vibes


eaglescout1984 t1_j93p03n wrote

Looks like that blue jay needs some freedom.


StrayRabbit t1_j93q9aj wrote

Reminds me of Superman eyeballing the flash as he runs by


Differentdog t1_j93qcc9 wrote

My girlfriend I witnessed a first recently. We heard a crow, slow, cackling, like a whale. It was like a human doing an exaggerated low vocal fry. When we visually figured out where it was coming from, we realized it was sitting on a limb, facing a much much larger hawk. This pretty substantially sized black bird was facing a hawk just squawking at it in a low hilarious way. It was soooo funny and awesome.


vonvoltage t1_j947678 wrote

Jays are corvids so they are pretty damn intelligent. And watching them fly through the thick alders behind my house is like watching fighter jets from 200 years in the future, its insane how they can maneuver in and out of small spaces at such high speed.


WhoAllIll t1_j94fbmi wrote

Thought it was a fish with wings


FIJAGDH t1_j9519gk wrote

“Look at my asshole!” — that bird


Eponarose t1_j951k7b wrote

I LOVE Jay's because they are such sarcastic little birds.


GreggAlan t1_j99736a wrote

The Blue Jay is asking the Eagle's opinion of its impression of a badminton shuttlecock.


[deleted] t1_j92xcp0 wrote



CrossP t1_j92xwye wrote

Eagle: That's a cloaca. Come back when you grow a real butthole."


Brilliant-Tea-6465 t1_j931jga wrote

Wonder how long the bluejacket lived after the picture was taken


TianamenHomer t1_j93j6to wrote

My wife and I were literally discussing how hateful blue jays are. True!

This guy in the picture is like “The Chihuahua” of the bird world.


txmuzk t1_j93ryw1 wrote

Blue Jays aka Egg Robbers. Least favorite bird.


Drogo88 t1_j93s6a1 wrote

Oh Canada!


pajo24 t1_j93vga5 wrote

“You do realize how severely I could beat you right now”


jomarcenter-mjm t1_j93wj4h wrote

Look like something you can use in r/photoshopbattles


SteelTiiTan t1_j93wmn3 wrote

I honestly thought it was a photoshopped eagle thought bubble for a min


awake30 t1_j93y8h0 wrote

Blue Jay: “Bitch”

Eagle: “Wtf was that!?”


nevertricked t1_j93znh0 wrote

Blue Jay aggressively flies by:
"Hey bud, fuck yooouu"


Supraace t1_j93zpc4 wrote

Blue Jay's are assholes.


doedounne t1_j947g4n wrote

Jay is looking right back at the dude


mrbaconator2 t1_j94ahvx wrote

someone should shop arms on the blue jay in the "well what is it" pose


thatbstrdmike t1_j94dzz5 wrote

MFin Bluejay throwing mad fractal shade, "can you see in this many dimensions bitch?"


BluSpecter t1_j94euf8 wrote

can anyone explain what is up with the eagles right eye?


Cesaramoga t1_j94gc7k wrote

I am not sure I feel ok but I just see a blue fish flying


tucci007 t1_j94h3vu wrote



resuwreckoning t1_j94hv0o wrote

There’s a joke about America and Canada in there somewhere.


Onlyhereforthelaughs t1_j94i0cw wrote

Fun Suspected Fact: Humans used to have that extra eyelid we see on the Eagle, but we evolved out of it. The remnant of it is that fleshy pink bit on the inside corner of your eyes.

(Can't recall where I learned that, so I'm calling it a suspected fact, feel free to doubt or disprove me.)


nel1801 t1_j94k73v wrote

What an amazing shot.


BobT21 t1_j94lunp wrote

"WTF are you smokinn' Dude?"


Chemistry11 t1_j94n4wg wrote

A representation of the MLB - Toronto and the USA.


erinmonday t1_j94p9of wrote

Blue jays at the eggs and young of other birds ;(


Xytakis t1_j94pr9v wrote

My cat was an indoor/outdoor cat when I was in high school and they would swoop at her all the time so when I was walking to my bus stop she would follow close to my legs so they would leave her alone. One day I had enough so after school I took my pellet gun and shot one in the wing. My cat took care of the rest and they left her alone after that. I know they are over protective of their nests. I don't care about that if you are hurting my cat.


BrickUpset889 t1_j94qxda wrote

People have no idea how gigantic and dangerous bald eagles are until they get attacked by one


Brasco327 t1_j94qxm4 wrote

The eagle is like, are you fucking serious?


forfuxzake t1_j94rinx wrote

"I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!"


BabylonDrifter t1_j94tr2l wrote

They're both dinosaurs. This makes me wonder if the same thing happened in the Cretaceous, with groups of nimble raptor-types harassing the big lumbering but deadly therapods.


Cloud_Seeder t1_j94u112 wrote

I don't mind Blue Jays so much. I give 'em their own peanut feeder. I mean, it's not like they're Grackles! Now that's one miserable yellow-eyed SOB. And they roll in packs, multiplying the suck.


copingcabana t1_j94ue1v wrote

This is like the bird version of shooting two guns while jumping in midair.


Yanni1699 t1_j955koa wrote

Hahaha it looks like the blue Jay is mid dropkicking the eagle😂😂


SheWent2Jareds t1_j95qtxe wrote

This would have been a good contender to the recent National Geographic pick. Nice job!


gitsgrl t1_j95r42d wrote

Blue jay don’t give a fuck.


soda-jerk t1_j95z85n wrote

"sigh Fucking corvids..."


DeadandGonzo t1_j95zu1p wrote

Blue jays get a bad rap. I see them coexist peacefully with titmice, chickadees, juncos, finches, woodpeckers, cardinals, flickers, and many other birds at my feeder. Ours is near the window, and more than any other birds, they stay and try to take a look inside our condo. They do not chase other birds off and they do not hoard the sunflower seeds.

Doves are hoarders. Sparrows can be pretty mean to each other, and do not tolerate birds lower on the ‘pecking order’ feeding with them. Having fed jays for a while, I have noticed them following me to my car for my commute. They also left me an almond as a gift once. Corvids rock, jays are no exception- we just have to respect these lovely birds!


ptypitti t1_j96243v wrote


Looks like a picture of myself trying to drink my coffee in the morning and my son...


Madman61 t1_j9641v9 wrote

Eagle: dfauq?


Fishmike52 t1_j9653go wrote

Blue jays are the best.


TotalChicanery t1_j966prq wrote

My mom was crazy about birds and always had about 3-4 bird feeders filled with different seeds to attract different kinds of birds. But I’d constantly hear her opening the back door and yelling at the blue jay to fuck off and go away. It took me the longest time to see for myself just why she hated those birds. They’re just plain dicks! I saw one swoop down onto a bird feeder (with plenty of space) and peck the only other bird on that feeder on the head so it’d go away and it could eat alone! All that time I thought my mom had some weird vendetta against blue jays… nope! Turns out, they’re just the assholes of the bird world apparently! But damn are they beautiful, I gotta hand it to them!


Supafly22 t1_j96jlgl wrote

When keeping it real goes wrong.


LeviSamJuno t1_j96uexy wrote

I thought the blue jay was one of those weird floating orbs from that horror movie "Phantasm".


BenniFresh t1_j9aujyg wrote

Blue Jay kinda looks like it is giving the "suck it" stance.


aclap t1_j94jfxi wrote

Why is the eagle called bald, I clearly see lot of feathers on his/her head?