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samcrut t1_j936cd4 wrote

Had a bluejay that would dive bomb me on the way to my mail at an apartment complex. One sunny day it swooped down and pecked my head, but the sun was behind me and I could see my shadow in front of me. When I saw the bird's shadow start it's next run, I spun around and caught the damn bird in mid air, gave it a shake and then threw it straight up. It recovered and flew off. It never came at me once after that.

In the middle of the move, I remember thinking "HOLY CRAP! It worked!?!"

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ohmynards85 t1_j93uka3 wrote

Lol the bird was like FUCK THE HUMAN HAS THE UPPER HAND

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shaving99 t1_j95ie4n wrote

We always did but it's not a trick the Robins would teach you.

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UncleBuggy t1_j94duvm wrote

Blue Jays are dicks.

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JeanValJohnFranco t1_j94gby1 wrote

My parents had an amazing bird feeder right outside our living room window growing up and this is by far my number one takeaway from decades of amateur birdwatching. There would be dozens of birds, finches, robins, cardinals, you name it, peacefully coexisting and happily snacking on the limitless free seed we put out. But every once in awhile some asshole bluejay would show up and every time it would peck and claw at every other bird at the feeder until it was the only one there.

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CrouchingToaster t1_j94ty86 wrote

Same situation at my parents place, we came to the same conclusion and also found out that Turtle doves don't know they are fatasses (relative to the other birds). They'd push over the weight limit for feeders trying to sit on them and be super confused that they couldnt get seeds.

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msuvagabond t1_j9e5n5p wrote

Mourning doves are like the least situationally aware birds in existence. My parent's bird feeder will have upwards of two dozen birds on and around it (there is a bath there as well) and often at least two or three squirrels. Sooooo often EVERYTHING would vanish, except the couple doves that are there. It's obvious to me, in the house and twenty feet from the window that a hawk is around, but they can't figure it out while they're actually out there...

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RandomStallings t1_j94dht2 wrote

I detest Bluejays. The image in the OP perfectly shows the unwarranted balls on a Bluejay. I remember a story where one pinned down a smaller bird and pecked its eyes out, then just left it like that. Come in my territory and lose your eyes?

No.

I'm a mega "bleeding-heart, love all the things, give everyone a chance" type. I honestly hoped your story would end with you savagely murdering that thing.

Sweet catch, by the way.

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imfm t1_j946xfu wrote

I was dive-bombed by a pair while trying to herd their fledgling child out of the street. They clearly did not understand I was on their side. They may not be large birds, but they're pretty scary when they're flying around right over your head, shrieking like banshees!

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HaloGuy381 t1_j94qfcw wrote

A profound demonstration of the utility of intelligence : both to calculate the bird’s approach thanks to the shadow, and for the bird to recognize being outmatched to avoid ever picking that fight again.

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KyotoGaijin t1_j94nkt8 wrote

We had a blue Jay that would run all the crows out of our eucalyptus trees. My mom used to have some kind of conversation with that blue jay.

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Colonel-Ingus69 t1_j952g6v wrote

I would have started going to the mailbox with a tennis racket in my hands. The next time the bird dive bombed me I would have been playing badminton with his ass. You just need to let them know who is boss.

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samcrut t1_j96d14h wrote

You never knew when it would be there and come for you until you heard the wings and felt a sharp peck on your skull. It wasn't every day, but that bird knew who I was after I plucked it out of the sky and it never gave me anymore trouble. Standard bully rules. Kick the bully's ass and you gain immunity.

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rgordill2 t1_j95f4ge wrote

My FIL sometimes has to wear a hard hat while working on the back yard.

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BrickUpset889 t1_j94r0x3 wrote

Why aren’t you an athlete?

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samcrut t1_j96f302 wrote

Have you seen that video of the pitcher who throws the fast ball and the batter hits the ball and it's all over so fast the batter looks confused at the pitcher saying "No way. Did you catch that? How did you catch that?" "I don't believe it either, but yeah, see? Ball."

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PaperXenomorphBag t1_j95c3zv wrote

Tbh, it was probably surprised it was coming for you and you had powers.

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