I came here from Colorado after similar issues you described. Honestly, it's been great. There's always going to be issues, as you said, but they seem to be relatively confined to those areas. Pittsburgh has been described as a checkerboard in this regard. Its not as simple as north or south. The people here are very friendly and upfront. The west is famous for the fake nice front they put on. As for the political side of things, it's the same as every other city; the further away you are, the more conservative it gets.

The schools out here are wonderful from what I understand. I always grew up hearing that east coast schools are two years ahead of the west coast and it seems to be true. My girlfriend moved between both and confirmed it. If you purchase a home, be prepared to pay the taxes for those schools. They can be pretty high.

One thing that I experienced was the shock of infrastructure. Your kids will especially notice it. Quite a few things here are old. It doesn't have that amazing look of a state on the west coast. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's not going to be cali/tokyo. However, I often see posts about people loving the look/wanting to conserve it. You may not like it immediately, my family didn't, but it grew on us.

As for your husband, someone else made a great recommendation. UPMC.

One of the biggest things we've come to love here is the sense of community. There's always something going on in our town. Always something to get the kids out. PPG basically has its own Rockefeller that we're very excited about going to. You're also a weekend trip away from NYC, Chicago, and Niagara falls.