Damn dude. Fwiw, it sounds like youre doing the best job possible. I'm embarrassed to admit that if I were in your situation Im not positive I'd be strong as you, i could cave-in just like your wife. I feel for you though, wife and I have a 2 month old but you're right that I can't truly understand how rough it's been for you and your wife. But in my world my wife and me's teamwork has been pivotal. Your son will always have autism but you could work on the teamwork in your marriage. Easier said than done, I know, but at least, cut yourself some slack. You're doing a bangup job, better than most people could.