There is a certain point where a person's laziness becomes internalized as "I just need directions."

I would say, for the sake of the relationship, to give it one chance. Write out a list of chores, expectations, and etc. Present them to your husband and say "these are the things we both need to do to keep things going" which should be a subtle hint saying "this is what needs to be done for me to stay."

If he doesn't improve after that, then he never will and you'll have to ask yourself if you're okay raising 2 kids and one giant baby.

Its a tough call, but if you are financially and emotionally capable of leaving, then you may have to.